the world is full of many different kinds of peoples and many different kinds of life. in all this mixed up lives chaos reigns as the major factor. this is my own interpretations of it, and hope you like it. If not, let me know why because i am a rather curious fellow and will try to think differently to see why :P

Denied

I can't do that.
it would ruin my life.
every day i would remember
every night it would haunt me.
Please don't ask this of me.
I will not do it.
You have known me for years,
I may be cold at times.
but i will not harm the pure.
They are what protect me.
from my darkest urges.
I will not break that trust.
You asked me to help.
But i will not kill my soul.
For your own desires.
I will not kill my soul.
Please Brain, I won't.
Not again.
It hurt me to much to live,
To see pain every day
To feel no happiness or life.
I was numb, without my heart.
And you knew i was ill.
But i was not the concern.
As long as you stayed safe.
Your safety is my own.
But I am human, not a shell,
And i need life.
Not my mind in a cage,
Watching all other life leave.
No, not again ><

Sorry ^^

Why can't you listen to me?
why do we always fight.
I wish to for us to get along,
But you just won't stop for a moment,
And hear what i am saying.
you think that i don't like you.
You say that i am rude.
You tell me that i stare too much.
thinking that i think you bad.
But you don't know I think
I stare at you tis true.
But i can't stop looking.
At what makes my dreams soar,
What makes me wish to be more.
You are my loved one,
But you just won't see.
I don't me to bug you,
I don't mean to hurt you,
I am just to shy.
I am scared you see,
to open up to thee.
For when i let it go,
I don't know what will be.
If you will accept me,
Or if we well end badly.
But you now know what i see,
when i look deep at you.
so do you feel as i do.
Or will it end miserably?

Haunted

why do the words have to come to me. Each night I see them. That Chaos will never leave me alone. I don't want them. They won't leave me though. That damn word is cursing my nights, my dreams, my sanity.

I tried running long ago. Distance would not work. I tried forgetting, but you can't forget that experience. It is scarred deep within, haunting your mind in sadistic ways you never thought. It will not stay buried. But it will buy you some time at least to prepare.

Death. That one word has been my darkest horror in my dreams. Fear isn't what the problem is. It is the death of the others I know. Death of friends. Family. My beloved. Of all that I hold to my heart.

That is what I fear. Loss of all that I hold meaning to. Of what I have build my very life upon. If all this were to Die. I would be a shell, without s soul to call my own. I would be what i once was. A mind with no heart.

And when I was that. Nothing really mattered. Life, Happiness, Death, anything..... just faded nothing.

Nothing.......

Cursed mind

The memories are coming again
The nights of nightmares I had
the horror of the chaos i was
the insanity of my very life
being relived again right now.
The hatred i felt for life.
the anger i had at death,
The helplessness of no control.
And the despair of not being taken.
all of it comes back to me.
all the dark nights staring down.
blade sharpened, but never cutting.
not due to lack of courage,
but lack of self worth.
No one wanted me.
No one would miss me.
I was dead inside.
DAMN DEATH, why he have to go.
You knew it would destroy me.
But even still. i lived.
All those emotions stormed.
And i lived those nights.
My heart a distorted chaos.
Those memories still live,
but to keep my sanity.
I have them buried deep.
So i will not lose my self.
So i stay me.
Despite all my pain

thought the hero?

I cannot lose.
No matter what happens,
No matter how much pain I endure
I will see this through.
I will find you,
I will keep you safe.
Please don't lose hope.
You just need to hold on.
Please.

World Fear me,
STars Guide me
Life preserve me,
Death deny me.
For until my last breath.
I will seek out my beloved.
And bring her back home,
So she will be with me.

Enemies flee.
For if you deny me passage.
Your blood will fall,
Families will weep at your death.
And i will pass anyway.
I will not be denied.
I must save her.
My beloved.
I am coming.