*points to title* :P
Returns from the abyss of despair, the expressionist of darkness
In this interview, Kyo would openly, for the first time, reveal his lifestyle and true way of thinking.
We could, from it, get a glimpse of Kyo's past, present, future, and his very unique view on life.
--I hope that in today's interview, we could on one hand, review on life, and on the other, dig into Kyo's mind and
life. Where were you born?
Kyo: Kyoto.
--You've been living in Kyoto all along?
Kyo: Yeah. I had been living in Kyoto until 18, and I formed bands in Kyoto... but gradually I felt that there is a slight problem to
continue doing this in Kyoto... Bands in Kyoto are all unique, and our relationship is very good. Since we all know each other,
if a certain band breaks up, the members would definitely form another band with the friends they know. I hate this kind of
"friendship circle". Because of this, I felt that I would be limited if I join bands in Kyoto, and would not achieve anything.
Therefore, the idea of going to Osaka sparked up.
--We could talk more on this later. What are your family members?
Kyo: A sister, and my parents.
--From your remaining memories, how was you like as a kid?
Kyo: I hated the "bad guys", but at the same time I hated the serious guys. I don't belong to a particular side. Even though I've
done naughty things, I'm not one of those bad guys. I get along with everyone. Yet I am not very familiar with anyone. You
can say I'm a queer existing individual. To elaborate, well, elementary school, junior high... I didn't study in senior high... isn't
there a lot of serious guys studying throughout the periods of elementary and junior high school? On the other hand those bad
guys only cared to make a scene and do bad things, and they thought they were cool... I think these two kinds of people both
looked like idiots.
--Both the studious or making-a-racket type?
Kyo: Yup. Ever since elementary, I've decided that studying is not one of the key factors to become an adult. Take science for
example. Looking at my parents now, is studying science a must for them? The answer is a definite no. So if you think like this,
you'll see that the time spent on studying science is wasted. If I use one hour each day to study, then it's equivalent to
wasting one hour... that would be 4, 5 hours per week. I detested these kind of rules. Actually it's already enough to know
kanji and simple arithmetic. I does not have the slightest interest for history, it does not matter a single bit for past things. I
really have no interest for it... but I quite like the "revealing the secret of the pyramid" kind of things. (laughs)
--I see. (laughs)
Kyo: The obedient types are always studying. I was infuriated by their obligated attitude, like they would be told off by their
teachers if they don't study.
--They never thought if this is necessary to themselves
Kyo: Yeah. For example, if I wanted to be a baseball player or football player, and this is accepted by my teachers and parents,
then I could just learn the essential knowledge I needed to survive in the society. The rest of the time I could focus on doing
the things I like. Isn't it better this way?
--This is very true with respect to life.
Kyo: Right! If it was like this, the standard of the football and baseball players... although I am not very familiar with this, I still
believe would be higher.
--Of course the standard would be higher.
Kyo: Apart from the time spent on science and social science, there are also the time spent on English and physical education etc. ...
if learning these is out of a sense of duty, I'd rather the students go and do the things they like, and nurture their own
interests. If someone who wanted to be a singer could save the time wasted on unnecessary studying, they would definitely be
better.
--You are sceptical about the "duty" you mentioned in "study out of duty", right?
Kyo: Exactly. That's why I only does what I liked and what makes me happy. Why is it that there are things, like studying and going
to university, that must be achieved for others to consider you as a "good child"? Everyone thinks that going to university equals to getting a good job... but this is meaningless to me.
--Anything is okay as long as it's your decision.
Kyo: Therefore I despise those guys who studied out of a sense of duty. I also despise those "bad guys" who studied furiously just
prior to finals... when everyone knows they are trying to make up at the last minute, I really feel unbearable and revolting.
--You started having these views when you were in junior school?
Kyo: Yes. At that time, we need to let our parents look at our report cards. Since I scored zero marks for all my results, I got
scolded severely by my dad.
--Your parents are the type that will tell their kids to "go study"?
Kyo: Yes. They both studied in university before, so in their hearts, there is a kind of dignity with all this. My father thought that,
himself as a university graduate, has to work very hard, so I would have to work even harder if I am not a university
graduate. Actually it is because he does not want to see his kids suffer later, that he asked us to study hard. But I don't agree
with his viewpoint. I feel that even if I can't do well in my studies, I will still be all right if I could continue to do what suits me
most. However I didn't have any dreams in my junior school days, and I didn't know what to focus on. Therefore when my
parents told me, "just get into an university! You can decide later!" , I felt furious.
--Did you think that "just get into an university!" is meaningless?
Kyo: Yes. This is my life. I think that even if after becoming an adult, I am without a job, don't have anything that I wanted to do, or
have to sleep under flyovers, it is no big deal.
--Because it is your choice.
Kyo: Even though I might regret later on, it is my own responsibility.
--On the contrast, you must hate the kind of people who put the blame on their parents immediately.
Kyo: Of course. Parents say that kind of things because they love their kids. But actually whatever they said, it makes no
difference...
-To conclude, you are yourself.
Kyo: People always say, "you received your body from your parents, don't do this or that to it". To me, I don't think I "received" it
from my parents, it's just an coincidence. If my parents chose to give birth to me specifically from a whole lot of babies, then I
would be very moved. However if we are born into the same family because of coincidence, then I think that people should
not use that kind of tone to teach their kids. Although I didn't think like that when I was small, I still feel indignant when I was
told not to pierce anymore holes or what.
--What does your parents do?
Kyo: They worked in a company, and then opened their own company. (mito: wow.) They married young.
--Usually people who owns their own company like their kids to inherit their business. Are your parents like that?
Kyo - No, my parents once said, "We won't leave anything for you!" (laughs), and it doesn't matter to me either. If I used my
parent's money, then I'm contradicting myself, isn't it? That's why I don't think that matters to me.
--I see. You often got hit by your father I heard? Your relationship with him is not very good?
Kyo: Hmmm.... our character is very similar, very assertive. Therefore when I got hit by him, my mom always tries to stop him. I detest violence from small, and I disliked those bullies, because they are violent.
--They only know how to overpower through violence.
Kyo: Some TV shows promote the idea of violence is a method to express love. What kind of saying is that!! This is totally ridiculous
and contradictory. When I was in junior school, a teacher employed a tutor to teach me at home, because of my bad
academic results. But if he wanted to show his care for me, why didn't he teach me himself after school, instead of letting
someone else teach me? Isn't it contradictory? Therefore, besides those bullies, I hate the ones who are serious. There are
violent ones within the teachers, right? Like those sports teacher. I had a teacher who taught American football. He liked to
smack students on the tiniest things. As for students like me, who are neither serious nor bad, he acted as if we weren't there,
and thought that we could achieve nothing. This made me mad, and I thought, what is the big deal about knowing sports!?
--What you said is true, there is no paradox.
Kyo: It IS like that. I truly believed in that. But I didn't know how to express myself when I was small. I understand that theory in
my heart, but I couldn't express with words. Even if I could talk about these ideas with my parents, I would probably get a
hiding again.
--Your father's violence must have scarred you.
Kyo: Not that serious. But there is a influence to be honest. If I could gain some knowledge or understanding, however small it
might be, after the beating, then it would be better. But in the end there is nothing gained, so the violence is actually a waste.
--I see. Then, when you were isolated by both the bullies and the studious students during your elementary and
junior high school days, did you feel awkward or out of place?
Kyo: At that time, I felt that it didn't matter, since I had no intentions of increasing my number of friends. But later we started
discussing the matter of going to senior high school anyway. By then I have already decided my dream.... "to form a band".
--When did this idea appear?
Kyo: When I graduated from junior high school... around 15 or 16.
--Before that, have you been listening to music all along?
Kyo: I once disliked music a lot (laughs). At that time, "Hikaru Genji" and other Johnny's bands were very popular on TV. The most
popular idols are Nakamori Akina and Kudo Shizuka. Yet I liked animes, games and films. But my parents are always watching
cricket, so I was unable to watch those shows... this make me hate sports even more.
--What animes do you like?
Kyo: At that time, the popular "Hokuto no ??"(note: don't know how to romanize) and "Shonen Jump" (note: I have no idea if I
romanized correctly or not, since I am no anime fans...) series manga. It is because of this that I disliked idols, and the music
and music shows were also very boring... apart from anime and games, I have no interest in anything else. However one day
I saw a picture of Sakurai Atsushi of Buck-Tick on my female classmate's desk- with his hair all standing up. I was shell-
shocked. Sakurai Atsushi is very beautiful, isn't he? Both his hair and his look are so artistic, very cartoon-like... looking back
now, it is related to anime. At that time, I just thought that him as cool. Later I bought Buck-Tick CDs to listen to, but they are
all pop songs, so I didn't find anything ear-catching. Coincidentally, X-Japan started to gain attention. They have a lot of fast
songs, don't they? From then, I realized I liked fast songs. Within all X-Japan scores, I liked the fast songs best. They also had
hairs that stand, so I was affected by them and decided to form a band. After that, I lost interest in everything else except
band.
--Don't you have anything that you wanted to do before this?
Kyo: Not a single thing. At that time everyone was discussing whether to continue studies or to find a job, and when I was working
the problem out, the idea of forming a band appeared in my head. Since then, I was clear of the direction I wanted to head for.
--When you were in Form 3 (grade 9), and you decided immediately?
Kyo: Yeah. I liked hide a lot, and I liked his unique character and method of expressing himself. I bought a guitar which was the
same as hide's (note: not hide's model) . I played it together with my friends who liked bands, but I can't manage it.
Later I tried bass, but I don't think it is interesting. When I was thinking that this is not something that I wanted to do ,
Kuroyume appeared. At that time I played guitar at home sometimes, but gradually I felt that being a vocalist was not a bad
idea, so I gave up both guitar and bass. Right then there was a small article in "Rockin' F" (note: is it the present UV?) about
Kuroyume's first CD. Because the article was very short, I didn't know if they were visual kei or something else... Ah! I was in
a band called "Rody" before that. Since being in a band requires money, I need to work in Kyoto's Central Market, everyday
from around 3 to 4am to afternoon.
--You didn't study senior high?
Kyo: I was forced to take to admission test, but after I have made up my mind on one thing, I will lose interest in everything else,
therefore I turned in blank papers for all the tests. (laughs)
--You really won't waste your time on unnecessary things.
Kyo: Yeah. Hm, even if I attended the exam seriously, I bet I still won't be able to get pass. But I handed in blank papers for all the
subjects.
--It's a matter of insisting to be yourself. (laughs)
--Why don't you tell us something about the Central Market?
Kyo: At that time there was a hard rock band working there. They have a slight visual kei feeling. I was asked to join their crew by
one of the members. I had rather long hair then, slightly bleached, so I was the type that you will immediately feel that I
should be band-related. That's why he asked me to join them as their roadie. Later I went to watch their live, thought they
were pretty cool, so I accepted (note: I am not very sure of this paragraph about being roadies and stuff... might be wrong!)
After that, I saw Kuroyume in the magazines, and I thought they were great.
--You were shocked in a different way?
Kyo: Yes! I went to watch their live. Kuroyume came to Kyoto to hold a live. It was the time when audience merely made up two
rows. I think hyde was there too. After watching the show, the shock I received was very deep.
--Before that, have you been watching a lot of lives?
Kyo: I liked Fukui-san a lot, so I did watch the live of Strawberry Field. But actually I rarely goes to live, because I don't like places
with too many people. (laughs) That Kuroyume show stunned me. I finally understand the style I wanted and what I've been
looking for all along. Before that, there are actually many bands who played fast brooding songs, but Kuroyume was very
complete in their style. All their songs are fast, and I was shaken in that respect. There had been no one whose vocals I would
have considered as cool before this, but Kiyoharu's voice is very unique. I really am astonished, and this pushed me to form a
band seriously.
--It affected you that deeply?
Kyo: Enormously. Whether it was - their visuals, songs, lyrics, voice.... all impacted me intensely. Even though I was already in a
band before that, I never had a clear direction. With the CDs that I bought to listen, there are none that really gave me a
pleasant surprise. Everybody seemed a bit detached.
--You already put "band" in the foremost position then?
Kyo: Totally. I played in a band in Kyoto then, but I don't like the type of friendly relationship between bands. Besides, a senpei
(people who are elder than one, or being in a business for longer time than one) used to tell me off saying I was too haughty.
I hated being criticized by him like that. On the other hand, there was something that is rather embarrassing for me to say...
at that time I had a girlfriend in Kyoto, and we lived together...
--You moved from your parents' home and lived together?
Kyo - No, we lived at my parents' house, on separate floors, the first and the second floor... well... later we broke up... and I didn't want to stay in Kyoto any longer. To me then, this incident hurt me a lot, I didn't want to live in Kyoto, because the scenery surrounding me would make me recall a lot of things... . Just then, a friend (note: I suppose that was Shinya...?) formed a band in Osaka, and later he got to know friends who worked as roadies for Osaka bands, so I went to Osaka and stayed at his place. As for the band we formed after I moved to Osaka, was the band prior to Dir en grey. (note: see, he deliberately avoids the name...)
--Oh, is it?
Kyo: To elaborate, before that particular band, we were Kuroyume's copy band. Me and my friend in Osaka was just trying out.
Surprisingly we attracted an audience, so me and the friend I'm living with decided to form a serious band. Later we formed
the band before Dir en grey. Kaoru-kun should have joined in our second or third performance.
--Did Kyo feel very confident with his singing abilities?
Kyo: No, I never really think of it that way. I just wanted to sing, that's it. It's just coincidence that hide, whom I liked, was a
guitarist. Most of the others that I liked were vocalists.
--Such as Ino, Kyo, Fukuino etc etc....
Kyo: And also Kiba, Hiro, and other vocalists with a sharp distinctive character. And within them, the one who affects me most is
Kiyoharu from Kuroyume.
--What type of impact did Kiyoharu have on you? In singing aspect, as a performer, or in the performance on stage?
Kyo: Probably on the stage performance... but it should be everything. No matter what it is -- the CD itself or the sleeve design ---
it is simply the best to me on the whole. I used to listen to them all day, every day.
--Does Kyo despise people who could only sing well?
Kyo: In the past, I didn't know what makes a good singer. I simply wanted to sing, that's all. (note: here Kyo meant that he didn't
know how to, and have not considered the things that could make himself a better vocalist)
My current style has not varied from the past... the first time a band holds a live, usually there are not much audience, right?
Maybe there will only be 2 or 3 persons in front of the stage watching you. During MC there will be audience talking at the
back. I would tell them, just like what I would now say, to "leave if you don't want to watch!" So in retrospect, I haven't
changed my style.
--It's more appropriate to say that your method of living and your thinking haven't changed since you're a kid!
(laughs)
Kyo: Exactly (laughs)
--To Kyo, Is there a special emotion for the band before Dir en grey? (note: oh the reporter is avoiding the name
too -_-;;Wink
Kyo: Yeah. When I formed bands in Kyoto, there were always things I disliked of the members. So when I started out again in
Osaka, naturally I would want to work with people that I am satisfied with. There were already 150 to 200 people coming to
watch us during our first live. You could say that we are rather popular already. At that time we also produced demo tapes and
held tours. We should have held around 75 lives, I think. The last one attracted around 400 people.
--That's impressive.
Kyo: But I didn't get along with the guy who played bass (note: he didn't say "bassist", the way he said it makes him sound very
emotionless). Later on other members found that they could not continue either, and we reached the stage where we had to
disband. At that time the whole band is like sand. Many people thought that the only difference between Dir en grey and the
band before lies in the bassist and the group name. This is totally wrong. We really did broke up officially, and I did return to
the stage where I was all alone. To be truthful, back then I wanted to form a band with the members other than the person
who played bass. Somehow, we gathered again after some talks. Except for the guy who played bass.
--I see.
Kyo: When we were holding tours for our former band, I already felt that Toshiya is very cool. I rarely watches lives of opposing
bands, and I never talked to anyone. The way I never talk is so severe that you could say I have a "human phobia" syndrome.
However Toshiya was the only one that I thought is cool, and I wanted very much to befriend him, so I have been talking to
him all along, and I wish to work with him. After breaking up the previous band, the four of us gathered, and we went to
Nagano together.
--The four of you went to Nagano together?
Kyo: Yeah! Then we brought him back to Osaka like that. (laughs) (note: Toshiya once said that they "kidnapped" him ^^;;; But
actually the way Kaoru brought Toshiya away was really cool -- at the club at which Toshiya was playing, the club manager
told Toshiya that he and Dir en grey won't reach anywhere in Osaka. Kaoru simply dragged Toshiya away and threw at the
manager with the words, "We will be famous." Woooo~, go Kaoru go! Toshiya was sooo impressed at that. Yeah they could go
back to Nagano and humiliate that club manager now, ho ho ho.)
