“That’s Agrabah, Halloween Town, Destiny Islands, Beast’s Castle, Disney Castle, and Twilight Town, all out of orange juice? What the hell is this, some kind of conspiracy? The Great Birthday O.J. Conspiracy? WHY? WHY ME?”
Axel’s voice was about six octaves higher than normal, he was flailing all about, and his hair was even messier than usual from having been pulled all day long.
“Axel, I’m not sure going crazy over it is the best way to deal with the problem,” Saix started to say.
“DON’T YOU LECTURE ME ABOUT GOING CRAZY, YOU PSYCHOPATH!” He slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter in front of the blue-haired berserker, making him jump in surprise.
At that moment, Zexion walked into the kitchen. “Good morning,” he said quietly.
“GOOD? GOOD?! WHAT CRACK ARE YOU SNORTING, ZEXION?” Axel ranted at the short, periwinkle-haired man, getting in his face. “THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE MORNING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!”
“And why is that, Axel,” murmured Zexion tonelessly, opening the fridge and taking out a plate of strawberries.
Before Axel could open his mouth again, Demyx grabbed his arm. “We’re all out of orange juice, and Axel need orange juice to complete Triskix’s birthday breakfast,” he said, in a considerably softer tone than Axel had been using.
“Did you go out to get more?” Zexion said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Demyx nodded.
“We went to Hollow Bastion,” he said.
“And Port Royal,” said Luxord.
“And then Agrabah,” added Lexaeus.
“Don’t forget Halloween Town,” piped up Marluxia.
“Destiny Islands,” moaned Xemnas from where he sat slumped over at the table.
“Twilight Town,” said Saix as he massaged the Leader’s shoulders.
“We also checked at the Beast’s Castle,” said Xaldin.
“And Disney Castle,” said Xigbar.
“Olympus Coliseum, Pride Lands, Wonderland, Deep Jungle, and Neverland, all of them out as well,” said Vexen as he, Larxene, and Roxas all stepped out of a portal.
Axel fell into another set of histrionics while everyone else simply groaned. “At least the apprentices are keeping Triskix busy,” muttered Demyx.
Another portal opened up in the kitchen, and RaXi stepped through. “Yeeeah, Triskix? He’s kinda on his way here now,” she said, wringing her hands. “Hello, Master Saix.”
Saix shut his eyes. “Good morning, RaXi, although as for Triskix, at this point, I’m not even surprised,” he said.
Zexion watched all of this silently, wondering if he’d have to spend all of eternity with such undomesticated pigs. He quietly stepped over to the fruit basket, handily selected a few of the fresh oranges from the fruits, and made his way to an empty section of the counter.
“Here,” he said, minutes later. “One glass of freshly-squeezed birthday O.J.” He gave each one of them a pointed glare, Axel in particular.
“Oh, wow,” breathed Demyx, pulling Zexion into a tight hug, “Zex, you’re a genius!”
Axel joined him in the hug. “Zexion, will you have my babies?”
The periwinkle-haired man grimaced. “First of all, that’s biologically impossible, not to mention my answer is absolutely not. Second—let go of me, you moron,” he said, squirming in the pair’s grasp.
Axel and Demyx quickly let go of him, as he had the oh-so-precious glass of O.J. in his delicate hands. “I’m leaving,” he said, making his way to the door.
As he moved to open it, it opened on its own, and there stood Triskix in the doorway, arms crossed and looking very angry. A couple stray icicles were melting from his hair, making a small puddle on the floor.
Pushing past Zexion into the kitchen and followed by the other apprentices, he said, “What is going on here?”
Everyone glanced at each other nervously, before RaXi spoke up. “Surprise!” she shouted.
“Surprise!” everyone echoed after her, catching on to the idea.
The anger slowly faded from Triskix as he realized what was going on. “Oh,” he said. “Is this it? A surprise not-birthday party?”
Axel nodded happily. “Yeah, yeah! And here’s the best part—a glass of birthday O.J.!”
Alas, in his haste to bring the glass of orange juice to his beloved apprentice, Axel failed to notice his own two feet, and promptly tripped, dropping the glass and shattering both it and the sanity of everyone in the room.
“Are you…kidding me?” Xemnas narrowed his eyes first at the floor, and then at Axel. “You imbecile.”
Axel stood there, a heartbeat away from bursting into tears, when Triskix spoke up. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, summoning a lesser Nobody to clean up the mess. “I’m allergic to orange juice anyway. Thank for the surprise, everyone.”
As he turned to leave, he couldn’t help but wonder why he heard everyone burst into angry shouting and cursing. He almost could have sworn he heard a couple pots hitting empty heads. “Whatever,” he murmured, a small smile gracing his lips. “It’s the thought that counted, I guess.”
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Dedicated to SojiRem and her character Triskix, for her 17th birthday! Happy Birthday!
