Okay, so I know that I'm virtually unknown here at theO, but I'm hoping to change that soon...if I can get my scanner to work or get some good FanWords going. Basically, this is where I'm going to tell everything that's going on with me personally as well as how anything I'm working on for theO is coming along. So with that, please enjoy.

My Detective Persona

Sooo Unfair

Sigh, so as we all know, Valentine's Day is this weekend. Guess who got grounded yesterday! >:( I was sooo mad. Thing is, the charges aren't viable. I didn't do anything that constituted grounding rights! It's so aggravating. I feel soo bad too cuz now, not only is my weekend ruined (along with the next two weeks of my life), but so is my boyfriend's. He shouldn't be punished too. I mean, punishing me makes him suffer. Especially when I'm grounded specifically from HIM. To make it worse, we have a half day Friday and a FOUR DAY WEEKEND. My parents say I'm grounded for "generally not listening" which I can't say that I have been listening to them like they'd like, but I wasn't doing anything that would warrant this.

Basically, what set it off was my sister. She's ten years old and 100% evil. I was on the phone with my boyfriend, trying to teach my cousin to play video games (he's 1 1/2 years old lol), and talking with my other cousin who's two years younger than me. I wasn't bothering anyone and was being very sociable for once. Out of nowhere, my sister says, "Get out." I looked at her like she was crazy and she repeated herself. I said, "It's my room too. You can't make me leave." Then, just to tick me off, she said she was going to hang up the phone which was on speaker on the shelf. She made a move for it and I got in her way before she got to it. Mad now, she tried to attack me, hang up the phone, and push me out of the room. There was no way I was going to let her hang up the phone and shove me out of my own room.

She started trying to hit me and I kept blocking. I'm basically a pacifist. I don't like violence and refuse to use it. My sister is the ONLY one who's been able to provoke me enough to hit her. Thing is, I was trying really, REALLY hard not to because I didn't want to get in trouble. So for TWENTY MINUTES, I let her come at me and did nothing but block. Over the course of all this, I was kicked in the gut THREE TIMES, recieved a death threat or two, was told MY BOYFRIEND needed to die, was almost hit in the head with a water bottle (I took it and threw it away from us), and was shoved into my bed. STILL, I DID NOT RETALIATE. I threatened to, numerous times, but they were all empty threats; my attempts to make her stop without me haveing to get physical. Before any of this ever got serious, I had called for my parents. My exact words: "Mom~ Hayley's telling me to get out and that she's going to hang up the phone and that my boyfriend needs to die~ And now she's HITTING me!" Did anyone come? Of course not..

I called them AT LEAST four times. They heard me every time. My cousin is kind of timid sometimes and we don't see her that often so she left the room cuz it was making her really uncomfortable. Plus its a small room and there really wasn't room for us to be fighting. She did support me later though. Anyway, after I pinned my sister to the bed so that maybe she couldn't hit me that way, she tried to kick me in the face and throat. I grabbed her ankles just in time and managed to fend her off. Then, my little cousing comes to the door and my mom comes to get him. She sees my sister upset and me holding on to her ankles and decides that I must be BEATING HER. Seriously? Did they not hear me say, "I don't want to retaliate! Please come help me!" >:(

Honestly, if they want to accuse me and punish me for a crime I didn't commit I may as well commit it. I mean, the same thing's going to happen to me either way so it doesn't really matter which I do does it? Sigh, but then I'll be in more trouble more often..

I'm hoping I can get out of it soon. It just seems like this kind of stuff happens a lot. Not necissarily the fighting part, just the part where I get blamed for doing something I didn't because my sister set me up...

Sorry about the complaining. I just needed to vent somewhere..

Snow Days

Yesterday, we got ELEVEN INCHES of snow here. School was cancelled. Then the school called us at 8 something that night with a message saying, "Due to weather conditions, school will be cancelled TODAY." Now, the phone begins ringing off the hook as everyone we knew proceded to call US to find out what the message meant. Apparently, we know everything and people rely on us for an explanation. Luckily, the school called back with the correct message about an hour later. No one could figure out that the school had just made a mistake. I seem to know a very bright group...

In any case, we're on snow day number three today and we're going to have to make them all up this summer. We're expecting another winter storm by Monday and another inch over the next day or two. Good thing I like the winter and I'm not a big fan of the summer.

~Faith~

Funny

So, this is just a funny thing I got in an email. Sounds like something that might happen to some of us here, lol.

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod.

So Stressed...

Lately, I’ve been extremely stressed for seemingly no reason. I’ll be fine (or seem fine) and then it just washes over me and I can’t think strait because I’m so stressed/angry/depressed. I’ve tried to get over it and nothing helps… Usually, when I’m with my boyfriend it doesn’t happen (That’s one of the reasons I like him. I can actually relax when he’s with me.) Today though, it happened anyway. I’m suffering from this right now… I think I’m having a stress headache and I know I’m not going to get any sleep tonight. I just finished B.S.ing my essay for Sociology class and that really didn’t help.

My boyfriend thinks that it’s because I NEVER get out of the house and that my family is keeping me high-strung. He’s probably right (because he’s almost always right…). My family keeps me on edge. When I’m at home, I’m always really tense. They’re constantly watching me and waiting for me to do something that they don’t like so that they can mess with me. Basically, they test me constantly to see just how far they can push me. I’m expected to never say anything and just obey everything they say. The other night, I was sitting at the computer during one of my stress episodes and I sighed. My mom asked what was wrong and I took the bait and told her I was bored and annoyed.. She said, “YOU HEAR THAT DAD? She’s bored and got NOTHING TO DO.” So he tells me to get off the computer and help him with what he’s doing. I say, “NO, NO, NO! YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME! I’M PERFECTLY HAPPY. See, look. I’m smiling. Never been better.” Then they walk away. Things like this happen a lot. They just wait for me to express any sort of emotion so that they can use it to pick me apart.. That’s why I don’t talk to them about anything. Of course, they come after me about that too…

I think I just need to get out of here for a while and relax with some friends. My boyfriend keeps promising me that he’s going to find a way to get me away before the end of the week. I tell him not to worry about it because I don’t want to cause him trouble, but he won’t let it go.. Just like the prisma pencils he swears he’s going to get me once he can afford them. He’s really sweet to care so much, but I don’t want him to worry about me all the time. I feel like I drag him down that way and I want him to be happy.

I’d kind of like to get out of the house for once, but I know it’s going to be a huge hassle. My parents are going to drill me before I go, that is AFTER the TWO DAY debate over whether I deserve to go or not… Thing is, I never did anything to make them think I wasn’t responsible and trustworthy. I mean, ONE TIME I was somewhere and said I was going to be elsewhere, but that wasn’t that big of a deal. I was supposed to be at one friend’s house, but we all ended up at one of our other friend’s house instead. My mom was so mad at me. Thing is, I would’ve told her, but I thought she’d blow up on me. Unfortunately, she found out on her own… Anyway, IF he somehow convinces them to let me go somewhere, they’ll be calling randomly while I’m out (they always do) and they’ll be waiting for me when I get home so that they can ruin my mood. I usually try to hide the good mood I’m in after I go to a friend’s because they always spoil it. I really only go to one person’s house though. She lives like five minutes away so they can just pop in if they feel like it. I have to call before I go to bed and when I get up in the morning. To make it worse, my mom calls my cell randomly during the night and makes me call her from the home phone so that she KNOWS I’m actually there. Then, when I call, she drills me. ANY question she can think of! It’s horrible!

She nagged me for years to get a boyfriend and when I got one, she didn’t want me to go out with him because she “can’t handle it.” If he so much as put a hand on my shoulder she would flip. I’d hear it AFTER he left.. Now, he hugs me in front of her just to make her mad because honestly, she needs to get over it. There are A LOT worse things I could be doing.

Sigh, I don’t know what her problem is, but I’m really tired of it. Sorry for the rant. I just had to let it out I guess…