Merry Christmas

“Last thing,” Akiko stated, staring down her adversary. “Paperwork.” Mai looked sick to her stomach. Akiko looked at the brunette, and then cracked her knuckles. “Don’t worry,” she said cheerily, “we can... not do this. Oh my goodness, we’ll never be able to finish this.”

“We need help,” Mai reasoned, glancing at the clock, which read two PM. Had decorating really taken that long?

“You know what we need?” Akiko asked, snapping her fingers. “We need that world of the living stuff, what’s-it-called. Coffee!”

Mai raised her eyebrows nearly into her hairline. “I heard it tastes terrible. Besides, where will we get some?”

“Kurosaki!” Akiko replied, reverting to one word responses in her excitement. She skirted the desk and picked up the phone, dialling a number with apparent ease.

“Ichigo?” Mai asked, scratching her head. “Can you even reach him from-”

“Yo, Captain Hitsugaya. What do you need?” asked a voice from the receiver of the phone. Mai’s jaw dropped.

“Not Captain, Akiko,” the short blond informed the living man.

“Akiko-chan? What’s up?” came the slightly confused reply.

“We need you to bring us coffee!” Akiko ordered, a grin spreading across her face. “Oh! And bring Chad, Inoue and Ishida with you. And don’t eat anything.”

“What? Okay, but Akiko-chan, what’s going on over there? Are you in trouble?” He sounded a little worried.

“We’re in tons of trouble!” Mai cried, stealing the phone. Akiko puffed up her cheeks irately.

“Really?”

“Yeah! We’re throwing a Christmas party, and our good friends aren’t here. There are also piles of paperwork to be completed, and we’ll never get them done without energy! Lots of energy! So Ichigo better come soon!” Satisfied with her explanation, Mai waited for a response.

“Am I to consider this as a sort of unofficial invitation?” he chuckled. “I’ll be over right away, with your coffee. So sit tight. See ya.” The line disconnected.

“That works,” Akiko observed. She looked to the stacks of paperwork with murder in her gaze. “So who’s gonna be the guinea pig, Mai, me or you?”

“For coffee?” the brunette asked. Akiko nodded. “Hmm... I’ll do it.”

“Great. And Mai?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you hear... footsteps?” Akiko asked. Mai listened closely, and sure enough, two sets of footsteps were echoing down the hallway. A murmured conversation was being carried between the two parties, until they parted ways, now only one pair of footsteps coming towards the door. The parting was spoken in louder tones than the conversation, and from it the two girls could easily figure out that the person coming towards the door was Captain Hitsugaya. Why was it that he kept popping up right when they didn’t need him to?!

“Quick!” Mai hissed, grabbing the blanket off the end of the couch. “Start passing me paperwork!”

Akiko didn’t need to be told twice. She immediately began dumping armfuls of paper onto Mai, who arranged them on the blanket. They finished in moments, with four stacks of paper, a foot high each, grouped in the middle of the blanket. Mai yanked up the four corners and tied them, then cast about for somewhere to hide them.

“What are you going to do?” Akiko hissed. Mai picked up the makeshift bag and climbed onto the window sill. Akiko started. “Are you crazy?! We’re three floors up!”

“Just – oop – trust me,” Mai whispered, fumbling with the bag. She grabbed onto the overhang with one hand and hung there, just out of view, to the right of the window.

“Fine, fine.” Akiko looked down, and then her eyes widened. “Mai!” she whispered, as loud as she dared. “Mai, we missed one!” She bent down and picked up the report just as the door opened.

“Saitou? What are you doing in here?” Captain Hitsugaya asked. Akiko whipped around, paperwork in hand.

“I... um...” She glanced at the report in her hands. Someone somewhere must have been looking out for her, because it was hers. “I just came to hand in my report!” she chirped, holding it out.

“Hand in your...” He trailed off, then just shook his head, stepped closer and took it from her. “I thought’ you’d already handed it in?”

“Nope,” Akiko lied.

“I see.” He turned to his desk. “Where’s the rest?”

“The rest of what?”

“The paperwork. I could have sworn there was a lot more.”

“Nope. Must have finished it all.”

“Ah. Well, I’ll just finish up your report and hand it over to head office. Then I can get some rest.”

Thunk!

The two people in the room jumped. “What was that?” the white haired one asked.

“Um... nothing?” Akiko tried.

“It sounded like it came from outside.” He went to the window.

“It’s probably noth-”

“WATANABE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” came the ungodly screech. Akiko went to the window and peeked out. The thunk had been Mai tossing the paperwork onto the roof. She now dangled from the roof, with only a three storey drop beneath her.

“...Endurance training,” Mai lied. Akiko resisted the urge to snort and say “bull crap”.

“Get down from there! It’s dangerous! Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“No.”

“I’ll bet you haven’t even healed probably from your last mission.” Toshiro grabbed onto the top of the window and held out a hand. “Come on, before I lose a subordinate.”

“I don’t really feel like it,” Mai muttered stubbornly. “The air is crisp and fresh, the wind is cool but not cold, it’s a lovely winter day outside.”

“Don’t be silly, Mai, come inside!”

“Maybe you should do as he says, Mai. He used your first name and everything!” Akiko reasoned, actually surprised that Captain had said “Mai”.

“I’m perfectly content to – wah!” She was cut off by Captain Hitsugaya wrapping an arm around her waist and yanking her inside. She fumbled the landing and landed on her back. “Owieee,” she whined.

“Don’t do anything stupid like that, or I’m confining you to your room,” he growled. Mai blinked in shock, the smirked and crossed her arms behind her head, lying back on the floor.

“No work, then? Deal.” Akiko grinned at the response her disaster twin gave. There was practically steam coming out of their captain’s ears.

“Don’t do anything stupid like that again, or I’ll train you,” he threatened. Mai paled.

“Yes, sir.”

“Get up.”

Mai stood. “Yes sir.”

“Do a pirouette.”

Mai’s brow furrowed. “Don’t push your luck.”

“My luck?” Captain Hitsugaya asked, grinning. He turned to the desk and quickly went over Akiko’s report, then turned back, tucking the papers under his arm. “You have nothing to threaten with.”

“Oh yeah?” Mai asked, jumping onto the sill and looking back. “Wanna bet?” She was then yanked back inside roughly by her shirt collar.

“Don’t burn down our barracks,” he muttered, and left.

Ichigo popped in the window, coffee in hand. “Is he gone?” he asked.

“Yep,” Akiko replied.

“Great. Who’s drinking this?”

“Me,” Mai said, taking the cup from him. She stared into it. “Get the paperwork from the roof, please?”

“What’s it doing up there?” Ichigo asked with a grunt. He came back in and set the paperwork on the desk.

“Hiding,” Mai replied.

“I see,” he replied. “I put tons of milk and sugar in there to make it taste better,” he added.

Mai gulped. “Well, here goes nothing.” She lifted the cup to her lips with an expression like she was drinking poison, not coffee. She downed it in a few gulps and wiped her face.

“How do you feel?” Akiko asked after a moment. Mai stared at the floor.

“No different,” she murmured, raising her eyebrows.

“Maybe it’s a bad batch?” Akiko asked as Mai sat at the desk and picked up a pen.

“Maybe. Akiko, stand over here. I’ll pass you all the finished stuff.” Akiko obeyed. Ichigo stood there to watch.

The first report was relatively easy, and was finished in a minute. Mai set that paper onto Akiko’s outstretched arms. The next was a bit longer, but was also finished in a minute. The next, easier, like the first, was finished in under a minute. Mai’s hand sped up slightly. The fourth report was more difficult than the second. It was finished in thirty seconds.

“I think it’s working,” Akiko murmured. Ichigo was watching, transfixed.

This continued on, with each paper taking slightly less time, and Mai’s hand speeding up even more with each report. Akiko’s arms were full. Mai just kept adding to the stack, and then began tossing the completed stuff at her friend’s feet. It got to the point where each second took a second. One hand wrote, the other shoved the latest document off the desk. Akiko was soon buried up to the waist.

“Um, Mai? I can’t move my feet.” Akiko was ignored. Mai reached the fourth pile without even looking up. The motion of her hands could no longer be seen clearly without a high speed camera. She finished, finally, and stretched.

“I feel like a run around the block. How about you, Akiko?”

Having been completely buried under paperwork, Akiko suddenly burst out, sending paper flying. “Holy crap, Mai!” she yelled. “Remind me to get you a year’s supply of that stuff!” Mai grinned in response and started picking up and organising the reports.

A few moments later, Ichigo, Mai and Akiko were heading to the head office with their stacks of work. “So it’s three o’clock,” Ichigo said. “What now?”

“Now we help bring the food in,” Mai said, “and then we party.”