“Do you even know which way you’re going?” Akiko asked a few minutes later when the large home was in view.
“Nope,” Mai replied, shrugging. “I figured I’d wing it.” She began to scout out her route to the unoccupied areas of the building.
It turned out that she didn’t have to. Unohana waved up to them when she exited the building, pointing to where Akiko should start making a raucous. Mai headed for Unohana while Akiko went to where she was directed.
“Ready?” Unohana asked.
“As ever,” Mai replied, drawing Yume, her zanpakuto, and standing at the ready. “I’m waiting for her signal.”
“There’s a signal?” Unohana asked.
“You don’t realize how many times we’ve done stuff like this, do you?” Mai asked. Almost immediately, there was a loud crash and some shouting. Mai concentrated for a moment, and then murmured: “corrupt the mind, Yume.” All around them, the shadows cast by the buildings, the trees, the rocks and grass and everything that stopped light from reaching the earth seemed to stand up, as though some giant were pulling the pages of the world apart. The shadows amassed in front of the two women in one big blob. With a wave of her hand, Mai made sense of the shadows; they all became humanoid and lined up. Mai herself pointed at the house just as a staff member was walking out holding a large bowl full of uncooked food. “Take whatever they give you, nothing more, nothing less,” she ordered. Saying what she wanted out loud was more for captain Unohana’s sake than her own; the shadows followed telepathic suggestions.
The space was soon full of shadow people holdings bowls, boxes, plates and platters and trays of food. The staff looked a little tuckered out after carting all the stuff out. A few shadows gave back massages. It was an oddly comical sight.
“Alright, I’ll go get Akiko. Everyone wait here.” Mai quick-stepped onto the roof and away. She dropped down beside Akiko and looked at the damage done.
A few buildings had been levelled as though by tornado. Actually, that was probably what had happened. Byakuya was glaring down at Akiko as though she’d just put Nair in his shampoo.
“I’m really really sorry and I promise it won’t ever happen again and it was an accident and I’m really really – oh, hey, Mai. You’re done? Let’s go.” Akiko’s babbling didn’t leave any room for interjections, and when she grabbed Mai by the arm and beat a hasty retreat, Byakuya was still trying to make sense of the babbling. He glanced up just in time to see her disappear over the roof, and that was all.
“Ready to go?” Unohana asked, gesturing back towards fourth squad barracks. The two girls nodded. A few of Byakuya’s men ran around the corner just in time to see three women running away, followed by black creatures that carried about a month’s supply of food. Their stomachs growled with jealousy.
“He had a surprising amount of western food,” Mai informed Akiko and Unohana. She then held up a very large green blob, roughly the size of her head. “Although... I’ll never understand that man’s obsession with seaweed,” she murmured.
“Invitations!” Akiko cried suddenly, without breaking pace. Mai glanced over her shoulder at her, running sideways a little now that she wasn’t looking forward.
“How are we ever going to get those done?” she asked. One of the shadows grabbed her by the collar and yanked her back on track. “Ah, thanks,” she said, as though she hadn’t been thinking about someone doing just that.
“Just put a note inviting the entire squad in each of the captains’ mailboxes,” Unohana said, a shrug apparent in her tone. Mai skidded to a halt, as did Akiko and about a hundred shadows. Unohana turned to see what the holdup was.
“You’ve got... mailboxes?” Mai demanded, incredulous.
“Of course we have mailboxes,” the captain of the fourth squad replied.
“Since when?”
“Since always?”
“But...” Mai trailed off and looked at the roof beneath her feet with an expression on her face one might wear if they were trying to unravel the mysteries that had baffled the greatest minds since man could speak. “But... where are they?”
“They’re in the front lobby of each squad’s barracks,” Unohana replied, looking a little perplexed herself. “Mai-chan, don’t tell me you’ve never noticed it?” She looked to Akiko. “You, either, Akiko-chan?”
Mai’s brow furrowed. Akiko scratched her head and looked away. “Captain Hitsugaya...” Mai began, and then looked away, unable to look Captain Unohana in the eyes. “Captain Hitsugaya told me to burn all the letters,” she muttered.
“What?” Unohana screeched with uncharacteristic shock.
“Every week he empties the box, takes a few letters with him, and gives the rest to Mai and I to torch, or dispose of as we see fit. We usually stick to lighting them up, though.” Akiko bowed, also unable to meet the captain’s eyes.
“He’s destroying letters?”
“I read some of them, once,” Mai admitted. “They were... quite embarrassing.” Mai’s cheeks colored.
“Embarrassing?” Unohana asked. The shadows shuffled uncomfortably, shifting the weight of the food they carried from arm to arm. “Just who is writing these letters?”
“Crazy fangirls!” Akiko blurted out. Mai clamped her hands over her friend’s mouth too late, although it did prevent her from saying anything more.
“Fangirls?” Unohana asked. The tension in the air reduced considerably. Mai pulled her hands from Akiko’s mouth, and the two girls breathed a sigh of relief. “How long ago did this start?”
“Mmm, I think the time we stole his hair gel?” Akiko said, looking to Mai for affirmation.
“Yeah, now that it isn’t sticking up everywhere.”
“I wonder why that would change anything?”
“He doesn’t look that different,” Mai observed.
“Definitely doesn’t act any different!” Akiko added, picking up where Mai had left off. “Do you remember last week’s training session! That was just pure cruelty!”
“Oh, man, that was murder!” Mai agreed, giggling now. “And don’t even get me started on the paperwork!”
“Girls!” Unohana barked, her teeth grinding together. “Perhaps we might continue getting ready for this evening?”
Looking at each other for a moment, Akiko and Mai both bowed low. “Yes, captain,” they replied. And with that, the group was in motion once again, Akiko and Mai babbling about some of the letters they’d read. Clearly, they’d read a few more than “just one”.
Upon reaching the fourth squad barracks and directing Mai to direct her shadows into the kitchens, Unohana made a suggestion. “Akiko, why don’t you send the invitations while Mai teaches us how to cook western food? I believe gathering in the meeting hall would be most appropriate.”
“Alright,” Akiko agreed, then paused. “Captain Unohana-san, do you think it would be alright if we invite a few people from the rukongai? People that shinigami know, I mean?”
Unohana seemed to think about it for a moment. “I don’t see why not,” she replied at length. Akiko and Mai both grinned.
“Have fun finding everyone, twinnie,” Mai said.
“Have fun, head chef,” Akiko responded. She stuck her hand out, palm down. Mai put a hand on top of hers.
“One, two, three, go!” they cried in unison, then wheeled around and went their separate ways.
