The din of gossip slowly died down as the crowd gathered around the refreshment table to stare at the ripples in the glass of water that had been placed there for that specific purpose. Just then, a resounding crash brought a large portion of the ceiling down, revealing a giant robot vaguely resembling a cross between Kirby and Flava Flav. The mouth opened, revealing an aged, balding businessman sitting in the cockpit.
"Hello, anime fans! My name is Alfred R. Kahn of 4Kids Entertainment. This is a hostile takeover!"
A large group of corporate attorneys began to rush through the front door like stampeding cattle.
"Take all the popular stuff that looks marketable at a glance, boys!" cackled the sinister CEO.
"What do we do?" cried a young otakuite, "Al Kahn is the bane of all anime! at this rate, all the good series will either get horrible dubs or never get released!"
Ace wasn't worried, though. Neither was Nehs, Gome, Shin, Des, or any of the other Otaku who stood for all that was Moe, GAR and Bamf-ish. They did not fear, for they knew that the only way to solve this dilemma was obvious: An epic giant robot duel.
In space.
Wasting no time, the entire town hall was transformed into a gigantic mecha, towering over the rest of the city like a... tower. The metallic beast reached out, grabbed Kahn's mech by where its collar would normally be, and flew off into the outer reaches of the Milky Way.
"You make pointless edits!" exclaimed the masses of anime-loving robot pilots as a fist made hard contact with Flavabot's jaw, "You censor the slightest hint of Japanese influence and remove even text that's written in English!"
"That is the limit of American children!" reasoned Kahn, "They can't be expected to know how to read or acknowledge the existence of countries that aren't America!"
"Children do not need to be patronized!" exclaimed Shin.
"You conceal culture from the masses with lazy edits and bad voice acting!" continued Nehs.
"Your horrible puns are only matched in lousiness by your cringe-worthy synthesized soundtracks!" shouted Kei.
"That's not the children's limit," concluded Ace, "IT'S YOURS! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WOULD WATCH THAT CRAP?"
The Otakumech began to assault Flavabot full force. "Certain kill! LOW REVENUE FAN INACTIVITY BREAK!"
The evil machine was destroyed by the sudden lack of income from butchered franchises, and Al Kahn was stranded on one of Jupiter's moons and never heard from again.
"So," said Ace, turning to the masses of Otaku piloting the giant Otaku mech, "That was freaking awesome."
