"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
| | perfectly content | |
Does it matter what I say? I can tell you all my name is Sarah Catherine,that
I'm eighteen, and my favourite colour has always been blue or yellow.
Those are only facts about myself, and yet, I always see paragraphs written as such.
I doubt it would matter at all if you knew,that I love my best friends
with everything I have.That I support my school football team, 100% and
I hate missing games. That I love the band geeks.They never get enough credit.
I could tell you I'm editor of the school paper.That I have an intense passion
for writing.Or that I'm never anywhere without my ipod.
I can inform you all that I've been in love.That my heart was once broken,
and now it's healed.I can tell you I believe in God, and know I'm going to
live forever.But do you know who I am? I can't find myself to believe you do.
Any words I write, are just that. Words on some page.It doesn't mean you
know who I am, or what I'm about. I myself am still figuring that out.
I can't find a wall to pin this to,
They're all coming down since I've found you.
I just wanna be where you are tonight.
I run in the dark looking for some light,
And how will we know if we just don't try,
We won't ever know.
Tell me Jake, I know you read this, so tell me how we know if we don't even try? Tell me how my crying myself to sleep will ever solve anything? Tell me how I am supposed to be happy when the thought of not being with you kills me.
I have no heart, you have mine, and I'm not sure if I hold yours anymore.
Just tell me how I love you so much, and we aren't even trying to make it work? Why can't we have faith that our love, as strong as I know it is, will beat the odds?
Jake; I love you, and I can't do this, this life without you.
Because without you, there is no life. I would leave everyone here for you, everyone. What kind of devotion is this? What kind of love?
It is completelove, since I love you more than anyone; I love you more than myself.
"Real loss only occurs when you loose something you love more than yourself."
Don't make me experience real loose again Jake. Just don't.
Isn't that fucking enough?
You know how much I've already been broken!
So what do you do?
Do you seal the cracks, make them okay again so all you can see are scars?
Maybe for a time yes. Now? Now you're the one to break me into a million little pieces.
All I have to say, no creative title. No friggin reason.
I have no effing excuse. If you love me like you say you do, you should know.
You should know that my cuts are out the open.
You should know that that they're hidden with brightly coloured marker.
You should know how much I need to give up.
You should know how much I want to give up.
You should know that the person I should die for is myself...
You should know that I don't think he'll remember, and you should know that I'm beginning not to fucking care. You should know that this is more than some effing anniversary. You should know this is about my mangled heart.
Edit;
Last night wasn't a good night. Like at all.
I'm sorry for the walls I've built up around myself, sometimes we build them to see who'll climb over.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky.
Light up the sky; Yellowcard
New favourite song. :]
Friday, twenty-second of the fifth month.
I haven't really made an epic, well thought out post in a while. I can't promise you that now.
I can promise you a post though, however un-epic like it might be.
Saturday, twenty-third of the fifth month.
Due to personal reasons, I left my computer last night, not giving myself the time to finish this post. I left my computer leaving instructions for on-one to contact me for the night.
I was granted my request, although I wish I hadn't been. I did a few things last night, that I regret. Things only I know about, and things I won't tell anyone about; everyone has to have a few secrets correct?
Now moving on to the real point of this post, which I have lost somewhere, forgotten.
So I think I'm going to go with something from my new favourite song.
I am the type of person who loves lyrics, I will listen and read the lyrics a thousand times; if I like them.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
How many people can say they will willingly die for someone else?
The first time I heard this song, was yesterday morning on the bus, and I was overcome with such a powerful wave of emotion, tears flowed down my cheeks and I couldn't stop myself.
I knew in that moment, who I would die for. I would die for seven people. I'm not going to mention names. I would stop breathing for them, I would do anything to make sure they were happy. I would leave behind everything I know and venture into the unknown for them.
Here I sit crying thinking of this, thinking of how if anyone of those seven people needed me tonight, I would be there. If my death, would give them another day, I wouldn't have a second thought about it.
You seven amazing people; let me tell you why I would die for you.
I would die for you, because, I can't live without you.
Yes, I know how selfish this sounds. Perhaps you can't live without me, although I think we know this not to be true. If I had the power I would do anything in this world to make you happy. To make you all see how special you are to me. How much I care and how much I love you.
I love you all endlessly, nothing will ever change that. I would light myself on fire to see a smile on your faces. I don't deserve any of you, but I'll hold on to all of you until the day I ignite for you.
And it's still so hard to be who you are,
But you've come this far with a broken heart.
And it's still so hard to be who you are,
But you've come this far and you're broken...
Be who you are; in this cruel, cruel world, let everything else go, don't loose yourself. If I would die for you, I ask you do one small thing in return.Love yourself as much as I love you, and your light will shine so brightly.
