Memories of the past are like chapters in a novel; We can always flip through the pages, but we can never feel exactly what we felt the first time we read those words.
So many words I could speak. So many apologies that could come from my lips.
Would any of it matter? No. The words I type are the words I say.
I haven't written anything, and I mean anything in months. Sure, I've attempted to post once or twice on my role play sites. I've written papers for school and for college applications. My next sentence can go unread, as it states the complete obvious. I haven't written anything or posted anything (of value) on here in months.
As I said above, no words I can muster will ever be able to fully express how terrible I feel.Although I'm not even sure anyone reads this. I'm not sure anyone really cares about my life. But I'm going to feel this way, even if I only have one person who cares if I've fallen off the face of the earth.
The truth is, I can offer any number of excuses. Senior year is too stressful. My finical situation with college isn't perfect. Maybe I could say I'm spending time with my boyfriend; Clifton. I could say I'm also hanging out with friends. Even the wide statement: I have a life now...So much can fit between the lines.
All of the above is true, yet none of them matter. I've been ignoring all of my online friends. Yes, I know they can't hug me like Lijah, or kiss me like Clifton. Yet they're there for me just the same. I love them just the same, those who are reading this, I DO love you.
I can't control when I'm online anymore. I will check things, I will do my best. I will not forget you all again, for so long. I will keep living my life to the fullest, yet I will not, I repeat I will not stop my life to update. I can't do that anymore, I just can't.
