Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I've been meaning to write some long, insightful post, since I feel as if I never write anything with an ounce of meaning. Or anything that touches anyone, I just babble, and I feel as if I'm doing noting. I can assure you however, that post will not be today.
Please excuse my cynical mood, for those of you who'll actually read this.
Which I am assured, means only a few human beings.
I feel, quite lonely. Please don't ask why, for I don't know, and in all honesty I'd lie about it if I did. Not that I don't trust any of you, I've made it apparent that I care so much about so many people.
Hhaha. that song "Scars" just popped into my mind. "And my weakness is that I care too much." Story of my fucking life, but this isn't the purpose of this pointless post. Or is it? I just referred to this post as pointless, so perhaps I have no idea what this post is really about.
Moving on, or backwards as to why I wouldn't tell you if I knew what was bothering me.
Not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust myself. Which is completely true. Ah, now please don't feed me any lovely fertilizer about needing to trust myself, before I trust anyone else.
I trust myself enough. I however don't trust myself to talk about things that bother me.
I've lost far too many friends this way, and I refuse to go through that hell again.
le sigh I'm sorry. I guess I need a friend, who won't care if I cry talking to them, or if I have the urge to cut into my own skin, I just need someone to say they won't leave me. I need someone to tell me it's okay if I break down and admit what's bothering me.
Because guess what? I lied. I know why I'm so lonely. I miss him and I'm afraid to think about him, let alone talk about him.
Tears, tears, go away, come again another day...
