"But I'd long ago learned not to be picky in farewells. They weren't guaranteed or promised.You were lucky, more than blessed, if you got a good-bye at all."
— Sarah Dessen (The Truth About Forever)
There's nothing like dying to make you appreciate life.
Or put everything in perspective.
My heart stopped beating today.
Simply stopped. No pain. No thoughts. Nothing.
If I had felt anything at all, it would have been peace.
I didn't see a white light. I didn't see Jesus.
I saw nothing, and yet I saw everything.
Not my life flashing before my eyes.
I understood everything, and understood nothing.
I no longer believe in miracles; it should be the other way around correct?
But do you know what the definition of a miracle is?
Miracle:An extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs.
I'm not sure how much I believe in divine intervention, I do however still, and always believe everything happens for a reason. I believe in fate. I believe in destiny.
Fate:The will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do.
Destiny:Something to which a person or thing is destined.
I died for a reason, I was brought back for a reason. A reason I may not know now, but I was. I my fate has not yet been sealed. I was meant to live.
Dying, non being, and yet being, well, made me feel alive.
Now, frail as I am, with my little heart monitor, I'm alive.
How often we take this for granted, how often do we wish we were dead?
I myself am guilty of this more than I should be, but this has changed.
I know the truth about forever, that it is now. That forever is happening and if I want forever for the end, I need to have it now.
I want you all to remember this, remember how precious and frail human life really is. Remember that I, your friend, died today. Remember I live now. Remember life is short, and sometimes, we don't have forever. Sometimes our forever is now.
