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Read between the lines

Disclaimer: As always, i do not own inuyasha

Reading between the lines

“Sit boy.” I hissed, feeling a tinge of statistic joy as I watched the young boy’s face slammed into the ground.

Turning away from him, I took a deep breath and attempt to calm myself. I hate feeling like this. Feeling so much anger and hurt, but not quite enough to escape a twinge of guilt for sitting him.

“Damn it wench, what was that for?” I heard Inuyasha say as he struggled to get up from the forest floor.

A stab of pain goes through me. That word. I can’t hold back anymore. “Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit.” I screamed, finally reaching that special point the point where I can watch him hit the ground again and again without remorse. The point that I can finally be satisfied that with each bone jarring impact his physical pain matches the searing ache I feel with every slicing word from his mouth.

Despite this satisfaction, I can still feel the humiliating tears begin to gather in my eyes. Suddenly, I can’t stand to be near him anymore, can’t stand to let him see me cry again and to see that look of disgust in his eyes. I can almost read his mind in these moments. He resents me for not being strong like her. In his head, he’s comparing me to his pain-filled memories of Kikyo, calculating and analyzing the differences. I’ll never be worthy like Kikyo was. He has always pointed out how useless and clumsy I am. How often he needs to protect me for every little terror in the forest. I am not a strong infallible person, able to stand up to a towering demon with merely a bow and arrow. I cannot use my Miko powers to protect whole villages from gangs of crazed demons. In his eyes, I’ll never be as pretty, smart, crafty, or worthy of his love as she is.

Hiding my tears, I throw my backpack over my shoulder and head for the well, shouting back at him that I was leaving for good. I run, knowing that if he called out to me I would lose my conviction and come crawling back to him. I hate myself for that. Hate myself for not being able to live without him for any long period of time. So I flee like a weak coward while he is still chocking on dirt, unable to stop me. Flying through the forest I come to the one place of safety from him. The well. Jumping over the side, I feel the soft blue light swell around me, carrying me safely towards the future. Sitting in the bottom of the well in my own time, I am able to let go and sob.

How could he say such things to me, calling me a wench? Is that all that I am to him? Does he see me as merely something to be used until I became inconvenient or unneeded, until he could finally throw me back into the street like some kind of stray dog? Yes, I’m nothing but his “shard detector”. He’s never shied away from telling me that. He’s made it perfectly clear that I am merely his tool for getting his revenge on Naraku, nothing more. And knowing that kills me. Even now in my own time, away from his prying analyzing eyes, my heart aches to be near him. I know that no matter how much I threaten, how much I promise myself that I won’t go back. That I will stay here and leave the past in the past instead of tormenting myself trying to stay torn between the ages. I know that I will not be able to stay way form him for long.

Dragging that giant yellow bag behind me, I run towards the sanctuary of my room. I know that it will only be a matter of hours before the hanyou arrives to force me back into the feudal era and all the pain that comes with it. Throwing the bag down once I got through the door, I dive into the comforting contours of my bed. I begin to cry fully now, letting go completely to the wracking sorrow that feels like it’s going to tear me apart. My mother hears my sobbing and I can hear her footsteps coming my way. I know she worries about me. My whole family worries about me. They think that I am focusing too much of my energy on my task in the feudal era. They worry about my schoolwork and my future. They plead with me to split my time evenly so that I can go to school like a normal girl and get my education. That way, when our task is completed in the feudal era and I have to come home, I will have the education and the skills to be able to return to a normal life. They want me to go to college, get a job and a husband, and have some children. I don’t have the heart to tell them I can’t.

Inuyasha has become much more than a traveling companion to me, he has become my life. I am in love with him, helplessly in love. Once the well is sealed, if I am trapped in my own time and unable to return and visit Sango, Miroku, Shippo and most of all Inuyasha, I won’t be able to go on. How could I? How does one lose four of the most important people in your life, not to mention dozens of friends, and still have the will to live? How could I just return to my old life, go to school, hang out with friends and act like nothing had ever happened, like they never even existed? Even if I could bring myself to do it, it would not be right. My friends are like my family now and Shippo is my son. I couldn’t leave them for the world.

“Kagome, you must stop this.” I almost jumped when I heard my mother’s voice behind me. I could only cry harder even with her comforting hand on my shoulder. “You must stop tormenting yourself.” In a gentler voice she begged, “Come with us visiting this month. Take a break from them, please Kagome. I can’t stand seeing you in pain like this. You deserve some time off.”

Three weeks? Three weeks away from him would be worst then torture. I was about to refuse, about to tell her that it would be best if I just stayed here. I could make some excuse about having a big test at school or something. But then I caught sight of my reflection shining in the mirror. I looked like a monster. My eyes were red and swollen from my crying. My cheeks were stained with tears and my face was bright red from sobbing so hard. Still, it was the look in my eyes that scared me the most. My eyes were empty, void of the happiness and passion that use to shine like diamonds. I wasn’t myself anymore. Suddenly, I realized that I did look like Kikyo, but in the worst way possible. I looked like a corpse.

“Yes, I think I will. I will go with you. I think that would be lovely.” I forced myself to say. All the pain that I would have to endure seemed immediately worth it when I saw how my mother’s eyes lit up. I did not realize just how worried my family had been. She looked like a drowning man just thrown a life raft. Satisfied by my answer she rose to leave me alone to my tears. After she left and I had cried myself out, I sat there wondering just how I would go about telling the others that I would be gone for three weeks. I realized with dread that Inuyasha would never allow it. He would bar me from leaving, telling me that I was ruining the mission and that I was being selfish for wanting to leave now. Even if I managed to escape him, he would follow me. Two days after I left he would just show up and drag me back with him, kicking and screaming sit all the way if he needed to. Nothing would stop him from getting his vengeance on Naraku for what he did. He cared for revenge more than anything in the world.

I won’t tell him, I decided. I knew that it was cowardly of me. I knew that the others, especially Shippo, would be worried sick about me, but I also knew that if I went back he would convince me not to go and I needed this. I needed to get the life back into my eyes.

We left that very day merely hours after my mother had asked me to join them. I think she was afraid that if she waited too long to leave that I would back out of my decision. She made me promise that I would at least try to have a good time and forget about the feudal era for a little while. I was surprised by how easy that was. For three weeks, while surrounded by family and friends, I was able to forget all the worry and stress of chasing Naraku, forget the pain of loving Inuyasha and knowing that he loved someone else. I was finally free from all that.

I was able to go to some movies and hang out with some of my old friends around our families homes. I was able to go shopping with some of my cousins and even flirted with a few other boys, but nothing serious. My heart was taken after all. I bought the others a few things out of guilt of leaving them for three weeks. Other then that I did not think about them much. For three weeks, I was a normal girl running about Tokyo without a care in the world.

After those weeks were up I felt refreshed and finally ready to get back to work in the feudal era. I had to admit I was very eager to return to the others. Despite the fact that being normal for a while had been fun and relaxing I realized something very important during this time. After spending so much time in the feudal era, facing death on a daily basis, having people depend on you for their very life, life in the normal world seemed completely silly. The worries that seem so important today were foolish compared to the constant struggle to survive and thrive in a demon infested time. Living in the feudal era was much more fulfilling. Even if I could not have Inuyasha, the life I have there is still worth so much. I was looking forward to the chaos waiting for me outside the well. I was also looking forward to seeing the others and to hold my foster son in my arms again. I realized how much I missed them after all this time apart. The only thing that I was not looking forward to was facing their anger. I know they were probably very concerned about me while I was away and I felt terrible for not telling them I was leaving.

My mother seemed neither surprised nor angry that I wanted to go back as soon as we got home and unpacked. Perhaps she just needed to know that I could bounce back from my slump and become her little girl again. She smiled at me and silently gave me one of my school uniforms and told me that she would pack me a lunch for my trip over. I nodded and told her that I was going up to pack. Once in my room, I hesitated. I fidgeted and dawdled in unpacking my things from the trip until my mother called up to tell me that the lunch she made was ready. Finally, I decided that I had stalled long enough. I packed my giant yellow bag with all that I needed, closed the door to my room, kissed my family goodbye and headed for the well.

Jumping down into the inky blackness, I felt the blue light encompass me at once and deposit me on the other side of the well. Taking a breath of the clean untainted air, I sighed. “I’m home,” I whispered, grabbing a hold of the conveniently placed vine and began to ascend the walls of the well. I was surprised when no strong arms grabbed me and haul me over the side. I expected the moment I ended up in the well Inuyasha would catch my scent and be here to scream at me for holding them up. Instead, I climbed the well’s walls and threw my yellow bag over the side without assistance, before pulling myself over the lip as well. I glanced around and saw nothing but the surrounding forest.

I was furious. I leave for two whole weeks and they don’t even know that I’m gone. How else could I explain the fact that there was no hanyou there to greet me? I huffed and headed towards the village fully prepared to kill a certain half-demon. I was partly there when I hear a familiar voice.

“Come on mutt, you’re not even trying. Fight me. Tear me apart.” Koga? What is he doing here? Maybe he heard that I was gone and came to look for me. Realizing that he and Inuyasha must be in the forest somewhere fighting, I headed towards his voice, silently hopping that Inuyasha would not kill him before I got there. “Come on, move. Defend yourself. Give a damn about your life!” On that last word I heard Koga’s voice break and was confused. Something was terribly wrong. I could feel it. Dropping my back I began to run towards the sound of his voice, the underbrush of the forest slowing me down.

“Fine, I give up. I can’t do this anymore. Damn you Kagome. How could you? Damn you?” Koga sobbed. I stopped shocked by the sound. The sobbing got fainter and I realized that Koga was moving away. Why was he leaving? Why wasn’t Inuyasha fighting him, cursing at him for what he had just said? On the other hand why was Koga cursing me in the first place? Koga usually fought tooth and nail for me just to look at him. The forest was finally thinning out, telling me that the clearing was ahead. I burst through the trees.

Koga was gone and for a moment I thought that Inuyasha had left too. I couldn’t see him standing in the clearing, sword thrown on his back as he would be after any other fight with Koga. Then I caught a flash of red to my right. “Inuyasha?” Yes, it was the firerat robe alright. I could see its ruby color shining in the sun. But something was wrong. It was lying on the ground like someone had thrown in a heap, unless. . . I ran forward my heart beginning to pound in my chest. Yes, it’s Inuyasha. He was lying on the ground and he was not moving.

“Inuyasha!” I screamed as I ran to his side. What had Koga done to him? When I got to him, I began to cry. Oh my god what had happened to him. Inuyasha was unconscious, lying on his back. He skin was pale as death and he was barely breathing. The first thing I noticed was that his cheeks were sunken in, hollow with starvation. He looked like a war victim. Tears blurred my vision as I took in his tangled filthy hair, his soiled and dirty clothing, and his sunken eyes. He looked like he had not eaten in days. I had to get him to the village, to get him help.

“It’s alright Inuyasha, I’m here. I’ll get you some help.” I cooed to him, trying to comfort him. I had to move him. I didn’t know if he had gotten hurt in his fight with Koga, didn’t even know if he had had the strength left to lift a sword, but I feared he would die if I left him here while I ran back to the village. “I’m going to lift you Inuyasha. Don’t be afraid.” I wasn’t sure if he could hear me, but I hoped he could. Carefully I reached over to take his wrist so I could pull him into the sitting position to throw him over my shoulder in a fireman’s hold. I sobbed when I felt his arm. He was nothing but skin and bones. Any muscle that used to rope up his arms had been devoured by his body in an attempt to keep him alive.

“What happened to you?” He was so light. He had to weigh less than the bag that I had brought over the well. As fast as I could I ran towards the village. “Hold on Inuyasha. We’re almost there.” I huffed. I could smell the smoke of the village fires nearby. Silently, I just prayed for him to keep breathing, for him to hold on for just a little while longer. I saw the first huts in the distance.

“Kaede, help! Kaede!” I screamed as soon as I saw the first few villagers.

“Kagome?!” I heard a familiar voice call out as I ran.

“Miroku. It’s Inuyasha. He’s hurt.” I said, almost sobbing in relief when I saw the purple robed figure standing near me. Ever since finding Inuyasha I was sure that the others were dead. That was the only way I could imagine Inuyasha ending up in such a poor state. I ran towards him, hoping he would help me. I stopped in my tracks when I saw his face. He looked furious, like he was about to strike me. He was angrier then I had ever seen him. Stepping forward, he snatched Inuyasha from my arms both as quickly and gently as possible as soon as I came within reach. Then, glaring at me, he started to jog towards Kaede’s hut, leaving me standing there confused and alone. He wasn’t the only one giving me angry looks. All around the villagers’ vicious glares met me. Trying hard to ignore them, I ran after Miroku to the healer’s hut. Just as I was coming up to it I heard another familiar voice. “Kagome, you're back.”

Seconds later I was nearly knocked down by a flying fur ball. I caught Shippo with practiced skill and was quite surprised when the young boy latched onto my neck with all his strength and began to cry. “I thought you were never coming back.” the young boy sobbed. “You left and then Inuyasha got sick. I was so scared,” the young boy trembled with each heaving sob and my heart broke for him. Sensing someone else near me, I looked up to see Sango staring at me.

“Sango, Inuyasha’s. . .” I cried out as her hand hit the side of my face hard causing me to reel for a moment. During my dizziness, I saw Shippo launch himself at her.

“Don’t hit Kagome.” the boy cried, slamming his tiny fist against her chest a few times. Sango did not try to stop him, just stood there and let the boy hit her. After awhile, he collapsed into her arms, clinging to her shirt helplessly. “Please don’t hurt Kagome. She might leave again and never come back.” My heart lurched in my chest. I looked from the crying boy, to the murderous looking Sango, towards the healer’s hut, and a terrible thought occurred to me. A thought that made me moan as my stomach started to churn, fearfully.

Sango seemed to read my mind. “Yes, Inuyasha wasn’t attacked. He hasn’t been ill. He’s like this because of you,” she said in a detached voice. I gasped, tears falling down my face as my legs gave out from underneath me and I fell to my knees, my mind whirling in a fit of pain. “Come inside.” She told me, going into a neighboring hut.

“When Inuyasha realized that you were gone, he figured you had gone back to your own time, since you guys had been fighting. But after two days passed and you did not come back, he went looking for you. When he got to your house, all the windows and doors were locked. He said that your scent had been gone for at least a day. He could not even smell your cat. That’s the last day he ate. After a week, Miroku and I thought you weren’t coming back. You usually told us if you were going to be gone that long. Since Inuyasha said that he saw no sign of struggle or any disturbance at your home, we figured you had left willingly. We told Shippo that you had to leave and we urged Inuyasha to eat and to except the fact that you were not coming back. Shippo cried every night after that but slowly seemed to understand that he would never see you again. It was hard for him but he accepted it.

‘Inuyasha on the other hand refused to move on. He refused to leave the village in hopes that you would come back. He would wake up every morning and walk to the well to wait for you. At night he would hunt for Shippo and us, but would refuse to eat anything. Then he would go to sleep for a few hours before starting the routine over again. Around a week and a half after you had gone, he left the village altogether and started to spend all his time at the well. I think he did not want to admit to himself that he was getting to weak to walk back and forth from the village every day.

By that time Koga had heard that you were gone and had come to see if it was true. When he saw Inuyasha he was appalled. Inuyasha look about as bad as he did when you found him in the clearing today. I don’t know if it was out of a feeling of duty to you or if Koga actually liked Inuyasha, but from that moment on he vowed to help us. Him and Miroku held Inuyasha down and force-fed him. Inuyasha gagged the whole time, but the broth stayed down. His body wouldn’t let him throw it up. Together they could force him to eat, but they couldn’t force him to come back to the village. Every time they tried he would thrash and fight them until they were afraid that he would break something. So they left him there.

‘He sat there by the well all day regardless of the weather and waited for you to return. Sometimes Shippo would join him, but at the first sign of bad weather Inuyasha sent him back. He cares about him like a son I think. Koga stayed close to protect Inuyasha in his weakened state. Inuyasha would not even leave the well’s side to protect himself. Sesshomaru came and tried to goat him into a fight. In a way I think it was his way of trying to help his little brother. Inuyasha didn’t move. Even when Sesshomaru grabbed the hilt of his sword, he did not care. When Sesshomaru left, I was almost sure I saw tears in the demon’s eyes, but I could have been mistaken.” Sango sighed, setting down the now sleeping Shippo on a cot in the corner. She then turned towards me and I saw the depth of pain and suffering in her eyes and it almost killed me. “That’s the way it went on. Every two days they would force Inuyasha to eat. He stopped struggling when they did it after awhile. He simply sat there staring at the well. They would then sit down and talk to him for awhile, try and convince him to come back to the village. Kikyo even showed up eventually. Three times she visited him and she tried to convince him to eat. He didn’t even look at her. His eyes stayed glued to that well like he expected you to come climbing out of it any minute.”

He ignored Kikyo?! But Kikyo was the love of his life. He wants to be with her forever, wants to follow her into hell. He would die for her, wouldn’t he? My head was spinning. Images kept flashing through my mind. Inuyasha standing outside my house, the windows dark and empty. Inuyasha staring at the well, ignoring the beautiful women standing at his side. Inuyasha wasting away waiting for me. Suddenly, it all made sense. His anger when I came through the well late, his jealousy every time Koga tried to take my hand, all those attacks he leapt in front of minutes before they hit me, it all fit.

“What have I done?” He loves me. All this time he has loved me. Not the way in the storybooks, not all flowers, sweet words, and chocolate, but in his own way he cares and I left him. All those years I envied Kiko and I had what she use to have all along, and I left him just like she did. What have I done? Why couldn’t I read between the lines? I broke down, sobbing harder than I ever have in my life. As I did, I heard someone enter the hut.

“Kaede says he’s alive. He must have passed out from exhaustion, but she says if we can’t get him to eat anything besides the broth that he is going to starve to death in the next few days,” Miroku said. I could feel his eyes on me though I could not stop crying to look at him. “He is away but barely. You may speak to him.”

Kaede did not look surprised or angry at me when I walked into the room. She simply gave me an expressionless glance before gesturing towards the curtain in the back of the room. She then left the hut to give us some privacy. I parted the curtain and entered the room. He was lying asleep on a cot. I knelt down, trying not to sob as I looked at his fragile thin face. Gently, I reached forward to brush dirty silver bangs away from his closed eyes. He stirred and opened those honey colored eyes, blinking like he didn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Kagome?” His voice was hoarse and weak; it almost broke my heart.

“Yes, Inuyasha, it’s me.” Suddenly, he lurched forward, throwing himself into my arms and hugging me with more force than I thought his brittle body could muster. .

“Kagome, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I’ll never say it again. Please come back.” Then Inuyasha, one of the strongest persons I have ever met, began to cry. My heart shattered. He blamed himself. He’s laying there half-starved, filthy, and near death and he blames himself. I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore.

Gathering him into my arms, I begin to rock him like a child as we weep together. “It’s not your fault Inuyasha. I shouldn’t have left without telling you first. I shouldn’t have made you hurt yourself like this. It’s not your fault.” I whispered into his ear. He cried harder, his whole body wracking with sobs that he was fighting to hold back.

“I love you, Kagome, I love you.” he whispered again and again like a prayer, holding me so tight I could barely breathe like he was afraid if he let go I would disappear.

“I love you too, Inuyasha, with all my heart always.” I whisper back sending him into another fit of tears. I just held him and rocked him until he calmed down. Finally, after awhile, he runs out of tears and his sobs fade. He’s exhausted and clearly embarrassed by his tears. Carefully, I lower him back onto the mat and stroke his face and hair. He just sits there and stares at me as if I am the most beautiful thing in the world.

After we continued this way in silence for a few minutes, he suddenly frowns. “What’s the matter Inuyasha?” I whisper, unable to stand him being unhappy.

“Kagome…I’m hungry.” he stated, looking up at me innocently.

I laugh, tears threatening again only this time tears of joy. “I’ll tell them to get you something to eat right away.” I tell him, starting to get up. His thin arm stops me. I look back at him and seeing the twinge of fear in his eyes, I freeze.”

“Please don’t go.” He begs. Sighing, I lay down beside him. Gathering him up in my arms I begin to stroke his hair again.

“I won’t Inuyasha. I’ll never leave you again.” With that, we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

50 Inuyasha stories in ten words or less

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. But man do I wish. I did I also don’t own star wars cover girl or any of the other objects mentioned in this fic. Don’t sue.

(A.N This story came from something I saw in a slideshow during one of the presentations my college was doing. They were five word stories. I, being curious, decided to see if I could write a few. I found out that I suck at it so I cheated and doubled the amount of words allowed. Thus this list. Some of these stories are longer then ten words I know and some of these are not stories as much as they are great one liners. But some of them do abide by the rules and are very fun. Read and tell me what you think. As an added bonus if you guys review and give me some of your own attempts, Ill post a second chapter with the best of them. That is if I get enough of them. Have fun and hope you enjoy. Review!!!)
50 Inuyasha Stories in less then ten words

1. Kiko died a painful death today. Kagome was thrilled.

2. Inuyasha was sleeping. Shippo yelled sit. Death followed shortly.

3. One hanyou, one girl, one box of chocolates. They did not work out.

4. One well, one girl, one demon. Destiny

5. Looking out upon the empty battle field, Inuyasha wept.

6. “Sit boy!” Thump

7. “half-breed.” the youth shouted leaving the small boy in tears

8. In a small cave, a boy huddles from the cold, dreaming of not being alone

9. “Pervert.” Slap

10. Kagome stares at the unconscious boy, “ All I said was vet.”

11. Swirling winds consumed everything, everything but her heartache.

12. One swimsuit, one monk, death shortly followed

13. Patients Name: Miroku diagnosis: Nymphomania Treatment: Jaken naked

14. One boy one girl one faithful arrow. A grand adventure begins.

15. “So how did you guys defeat Naraku?” “Giant Flyswatter”

16. Definition: Blindness-one monk one demon-slayer and one can of mace

17. Kilalla + peanut butter. Entertainment for the whole evening.

18. One day the well stopped working. That day two souls died.

19. One remark + One hanyou = one painful ride

20. Kagome stares at the unconscious boy, “ All I said was bath.”

21. “where is it!?” “Kagra?” Somewhere a hanyou holding a feather laughs.

22. One demon, One Fluff, One gay joke = One dead Jaken

23. Definition: Dominatrix-a demon with eye shadow, fluff, and a whip.

24. Kagome eyed the monks robes, Inuyasha’s Firerat and the shaking bush,
and decided she didn’t want to know (really long but to tempting to leave out lol)

25. Kiko stood weeping by the well as she realized she was forever alone.

26. A half-starved boy stares into the well, waiting for Kagome to return.

27. Inuyasha disappeared into hell. Kagome wept, knowing she was alone.

28. Inuyasha’s one thought holding his daughter. “I’m glad Kagome
missed.”(referring to when kagome arrow missed in 2 episode)

29. The sat hanyou had one thought. “Should have dropped her” (referring to before kagome arrow missed 2 episode)

30. Definition: death by electrocution: One monk one demon-slayer one tazer.

31. Definition: Downward-facing dog: Inuyasha sat from the tree.

32. Kagome eyed the wolfs armor, Inuyasha’s Firerat and the shaking bush, and decided she didn’t want to know (lol sorry could not resist.)

33. Kagome eyed the Sesshomaru robes, Inuyasha’s Firerat and the shaking bush, and threw up. (LMAO last one I promise)

34. Inuyasha eyed Kagome‘s uniform, sango’s outfit and the shaking bush, and passed out. (had to be fair to everyone)

35. Miroku eyed Kagome‘s uniform, sango’s outfit and the shaking bush, and dived right in. (ok that one was just for my amusement)

36. “And the winner of the Yoda look-alike contest is. . . Jaken!?” (that one is inspired by an e-card I saw on Otaku.com. Its hilarious

37. “And the new spokesman for cover girl is . . . Sesshomaru!?” (that ones all me lol)

38. A shaking silver-haired boy stands outside RA (ramen anonymous). (ok this is not a story but a plot bunny I am nursing. Help me feed the bunny)

39. Inuyasha stares at the homework as it floats way. “Sit boy.” thump

40. With his dying breath he says, “I love you kagome.”

41. “So how did you guys defeat the great Naraku?” “Bugspray”

42. Kagome stares at the unconscious boy, “ All I said was neuter.”

43. One little girl one resurrecting sword one cold heart thawed.

44. Inuyasha body lay on the grass, his eyes spinning, the rubric cube
still in his hands.

45. Inuyasha’s death: One stolen box of chocolates one pmsing girl

46. Miroku’s death: One dark room one roaming hand One fatal mistake

47. A bitter win: “Simon says sit Inuyasha” (this one was inspired by a
fic I read a long time ago. I don’t remember the name.)

48. Inuyasha grunted, lifting kagome. “Your getting heavy.” “Sit boy.”

49. Definition: Regret: Looking down on his brothers body, sesshomaru wept.

50. One demon slayer, one hot springs, one monk, chaos.

monster

I apologize that this is not a fan fiction but i had to write it for a class and I liked the way that it turned out. I thought it would be fun to get your opinion. Its a little dark but still is a good story. its not anime related but let me know what you think anyway.

The Monster
By Amber Strong

“And so we commit Carroll to the grave; ashes to ashes and dust to dust.” the minister said solemnly as the casket was lowered into the rich damp soil.
Marie watched in silence as her sister was laid to rot in the earth at the young age of 17. The boy had caused this. The boy with the emerald eyes who was leaning against the tree a few feet from her grave, tugging at his tie, and shifting from foot to foot. Beside him stood his new blond girlfriend, arms securely linked around his waist as she smiled smugly at the closed coffin. For a moment, Marie pictured herself walking up to them. Pictured her hand around the boy's throat. She could almost hear the sweet sound of him gasping for breath as her sister surly did seconds before the darkness robbed her of her life. She could almost see her fist making contact with his pretty little girlfriend’s face. The satisfying smacking sound and the sight of that beautiful blond head of hair snapping violently back were tantalizingly close in Marie’s imagination.
As the minister finished his long speech, Marie concentrated on envisioning their expressions. How striking crimson blood would look as a backdrop to those green eyes. Maybe he would scream at her. Maybe he would strike back. Anything would be better then watching him stand there without remorse, without guilt for what he had done.
Suddenly, Marie realized she was moving. She could see him grin at her and begin to walk towards her. He wanted a fight. He wanted to play the victim. Anything to extend his fifteen minutes of fame. They meet halfway, a few feet from the open grave. Eyes meet in a battle of fire and ice, anger and satisfaction, hate and victory.
Marie’s lips twitched, eyes became flames, and hands began to tremble. Marie’s hand reached forward towards his starched collar. Fingers closed around the boys tie straitening it from the crooked position the boy had yanked it into.
“You were her world.” Marie said with a sigh. Smiling a soft smile at the wide-eyed gapping girlfriend, Marie skirted the two and headed for the car.
A thousand eyes were at her back. Surprised eyes which turned thoughtful, then bright with understanding before narrowing in anger. All were now staring at the boy with the emerald eyes. The boy began to tremble, his smile fading quickly. His shoulders began to shake. The boy’s eyes finally lowered to the ground. A sob escaped his lips, then another, and another.
Marie continued walking, but she heard the sound of his crying. She heard the soft voice of the blond at his side, and the thundering smack that followed as his open palm hit the girl’s creamy peach cheek. She smiled at the shocked gasps of the crowd. Only once did she look back, just for a moment so she could see the monster weep.

another emo poem!

Yeah, I'm sorry, frfry, but I don't know enough about Inuyasha to write fanfiction about it! However, I do have a lovely poem - note! I do NOT hate you! It's just a poem I thought up! You are awesome!

hatred

what is this thing
that wraps its claws around my heart

it burns within me
it burns within you
like an ancient fire
awakened by some prophecy

yet it is cold like ice
your eyes
my eyes
like shards of frozen auroras

its dark like shadows
black fire black ice
throwing night onto its victims
obliterating everything
a giant black hole

i feel it for you
you feel it for me

a second later, were all dead

deaths shadow

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Inuyasha. Otherwise, this is what would happen to them. The only thing that I own is Peony my notebook and an extensive imagination. It’s not much.

Death’s shadow

“Pervert.” a hand sliced through the air to strike my face with a surprising amount of force. I recoiled, pulling back my offending hand to rub the stinging crimson mark upon my face. Sango glared back at me and stalked away, carrying her boomerang on her back like a shield covering that beautiful back and posterior. I sighed and watched her go, knowing better then to follow her and try to explain. Instead, I sat myself down beside a tree, leaning against its rough bark and attempted to slip into the comforting peace of meditation.
Though I tried with all my skills, my mind refused the tranquil state. Instead, the image of Sango’s hurt and angry stare stayed imbedded like a barrier in my mind. I sighed and gave up. Looking up, I saw Sango had moved to stand beside Kagome and from the look of annoyance in the future wise teen’s face, they were talking about me. For an instant, I felt an uncharacteristic wave of anger flow through me. What right does she have to judge me? None of them understands the position I am in, but the anger only lasted a moment and instead of leaving me feeling more justified in my actions it only served to make me feel worst.
No, none of them understood my position, my struggle. Living with this curse has shaped everything I am. Can they even imagine what my life has been like? From the moment I was born, this tunnel has taken from me. It stole my grandfather before I could know him. At my birth, it took my mother and her midwife before I could draw my first breath. Before the monks managed to contain it with a set of prayer beads. Imagine being born and instantly being responsible for two deaths. The villagers marked me as a horrible omen. A curse. My father was forced out of the village and back to the monastery in which he himself was born and raised. I think the villagers were planning to kill me.
From that point on I lived most of my childhood out within those hollow lonely walls. The monks were overall very kind to me. But the normal friendships and childhood, joy that comes from being able to play and socialize with other children cannot be replaced by the stoic presence of the monks. I was terribly lonely and even when a villager would come to the monastery for help with his children, I was still considered dangerous and cursed, treated with caution and sometimes fear. I think that I was the only five year old to ever consider suicide. I remember wondering if it would even hurt. All I had to do is to slip the beads off my palm and wait for the tunnel to swell to the point it consumed me. I wish that I could say that it was my childhood adaptability or my strong will that stopped me but it was not. It was my father.
My father, in many ways, was my only friend while I was young. He was the only one in the monastery that was able to focus all his loving attention on me. He was everything any loving and devoted father could be. But even in our most memorable and joyful moments there was a black shadow cast over our head. I always could feel that my father was constantly holding something back from me. At first, I thought that he, too, was partly disgusted by me. Resentful towards me for killing his wife. But as I grew older, I sensed that was not it. When I turned seven, this shadow seemed to swell around him until I could no longer penetrate it. Suddenly my father did not seem to have time for me. Instead, he gave me over to a master monk to care for.
At first, I was furious at him for his aloof manner. I knew something was wrong but was frustrated because I could not figure out what it was. I remember one night screaming at him. Asking him what I had done wrong that had made him stopped loving me. He had turned away quickly without saying a word. That knight was the first time I heard my dad weeping through the mesh-dividing screen in our room. After that, my father moved from our room and began traveling abroad without me. H would come back for short periods to visit me, but even in those blissful times things were different. He always seemed detached his mind far away in a place that was filled with pain and grief. The monks’ attitudes towards my father changed as well. They were wary like my father was a tiger on a very old length of rope. Any moment that rope could snap and the tiger would be free to kill. I knew that something was wrong but in my youth could not figure out what. It was not until near my eighth birthday that I realized that it was the wind tunnel that I sensed swelling and threatening to overcome my father. The night I realized my father was going to die, I cried. I cried and screamed until I could not breathe. The monks sent a runner to find my father but when he arrived all he could do was embrace me and weep with me. That was the first time that I heard the name Naraku was in my father’s sobbing curses.
I began to question the monks and any villager I came across who Naraku was. Slowly I was able to piece together the history I know now. I began to resent the name Naraku. Hate him for stealing away my childhood from me. I never thought I could loath that name any more then I already did. That was until the day the wind tunnel consumed my father. I was there when it happened. He was visiting and we were talking about my studies while he was away. Suddenly he went to his knees and cried out in pain. “Run Miroku.”
I did not want to leave him. I wanted to die along side of him. To be free from deaths shadow. But the master monk dragged me away. I could only watch as the swirling winds sucked up the only friend I had in this world taking with it a chunk of my very soul. After his death, my will to play and socialize died. Shortly after his funeral, I asked the monk my father clearly intended to become my new guardian to arrange for me to be permitted to enter and study in the monastery.
While other children jumped and played outside, I remained indoors throwing myself into my studies. The calm tranquil mask of a monk served as a perfect disguise for the hollow shell of my soul. I studied sutras feverishly. They were the only thing that seemed to sooth the pure hate that flowed through my veins. A hatred that increased yearly until I was sure my heart would be consumed by the very heart of it. Finally, at an age of fifteen, my master encouraged me to leave the monastery. He said that there was nothing more that they could teach me. I knew that it was because the monks were becoming weary of my dark moods. So I began my search for Naraku.
At first I wondered from village to village trying to obtain any knowledge of the demon. I learned very little and was quickly becoming frustrated. It was not until the fifth village I traveled to that, I learned something that would change my world forever. It was in that village that I meet Peony. She was as beautiful as the flower she was named after. I was an innocent boy and followed her around like a puppy every chance I had. I brought her a flower every morning and begged her father to allow me to take her on supervised walks in the evening. I was a boy totally caught up in the magic of his first love. All my thoughts of vengeance and hatred against that demon that damned me faded away replaced with dreams of children, a respectable hut in the village and a wife who was quickly falling in love with me too.
I was a complete and utter fool for forgetting the wind tunnel in my hand. I should have known the moment I fell in love that it would be disastrous. I guess I should be thankful the demon came when it did before something more serious happen. It happened two days after I had asked Peony to marry me. I had planned everything out. I had already obtained permission from her father and the other village elders. I took her to a field of wild Peonies and asked her to be my wife. She had answered with a resounding yes.
The demon had come late at night during the celebration of our engagement. One minute I was sipping sake with my blushing future bride attending me and the next the sound of screaming and running erupted through the room. The whole party spilled out to see the source of the commotion only to come face to face with a large demon. The men of the village ran for their weapons and I instinctively joined them, pulling out sutras that I had not used or practiced in months. Maybe it was that disuse that made them powerless or maybe it was simply the sheer power of the demon before me. Either way they were powerless.
The demon killed three before we even were armed and another two before the village people started to flee. I kept fighting, unwilling to let the one moment of happiness in my life fade away. It was not until I realized that the demon was heading directly toward Peony that I resorted to using the one weapon I had withheld. Within seconds it was over, the demon consumed by the wind in my palms. Relived, I threw my arms around my future bride, but instead of receiving my embrace with love and relief, she stood there stiffly. I can still remember the look on her face when I pulled away. It was the same look that the village children gave my father and me as we passed. Fear mingled with disgust.
That night I heard whispering while I lay sleeping in the room I usually occupied. Whispered about my father and my mother. Whispers about her death from an evil child and a monster that sired him. It made my heart ache to here such hateful words. In the morning I was given my possessions packed in a basket and offered a handsome sum if I would leave the village. I refused. For the next week I endured the hatred in the villagers stared in an effort to obtain the one possession that I desired from that cruel little village. Peony’s love. But the villagers hid her from me. I tried everything I could to catch her alone. Finally, one day I found her washing laundry alone in the stream. I had never felt more relieved. I ran over to her anxious for the chance to explain. I cannot describe the pain I felt as she skittered away from me like some kind of frightened animal.
I reached out for her, the love of my life. She avoided my touch and when she looked up to meet my eyes it felt like a sword had pierced my heart. Her eyes. My Peony’s eyes were filled with so much hate and loathing that it felt like a physical blow to my stomach. I have only seen hate like that in one place. In my own eyes when I was obsessed with finding Naraku. The very hatred that had threatened to consume me was now mirrored in my Peony’s eyes, only this time it was different. This time the hate was pointed at me. “Monster,” she whispered, her eyes like flames burning my very soul. “Monster.”
I froze barely breathing. Monster. Murderer. My mind revolved in circles around the words. Murderer? I was barely out of the womb. Monster? Did she think that I meant all along to force her to the same fate? Monster, murderer. Gods, was that really what I was? All I wanted was happiness. A wife, a child, and a life where someone loved me that was not already damned to the grave. All I could do was stare in shock as she fled from me as if I was holding a knife to her throat. That night I accepted the villager’s offer. That night I found a tree to sit under and wept until I was sure that I would come apart at the seam from the pain radiating through my being. It was like when my father died only worst. Not only was I morning a love but also a life. One that I had desired all my life. That was the last time I ever wept.
When I managed to come out of my sorrow, I felt empty. I felt the curse of my fate and I realized that horrible black shadow I would feel when I visited my father, as a young boy had not disappeared in the swirling wind that consumed him but attached itself to me. For the first time since I met Peony, I felt alone and cursed, but this time I knew it would not go away.
Silently, I continued to the next village and managed to obtain lodgings. Part of me wanted to die, but the more I thought about the situation the more I realized what a waste that would be. If I died, it would all be in vain. Not only my life but also my grandfather’s, my grandmother’s, my mother’s and my father’s as well. No, I needed to get back at Naraku for what he did to my family. Unfortunately, without a single clue on the whereabouts of Naraku how could I do that? It might take a lifetime to track the demon down and with this curse on my hand I knew I did not have that long. No, I needed someone to take over the quest for me. I needed a son.
From that point on, my mission was twofold. Find Naraku or have a son. The second was hard at first. I was still completely in love with Peony despite her rejection. The first village I came upon I walked up to the first beautiful maiden I could find. I told myself it would be easy I would simply tell the girl that she was the love of my life and I intended to sweep her off her feet into a paradise of love. But when the girl turned, my mind froze. Suddenly all I could see was Peony’s eyes filled with hate. “Monster. Murderer.” the girl smiled at me offering me a shy and innocent smile. I said the first thing that came into my mind. “Will you bear my child?”
Yes, don’t promise them love. Don’t tell them it will be blissful. Don’t day the fates have tied you together. No, just smile like a good little monster and let them fall into the trap themselves. Don’t give them any more reason to damn you. Don’t get close to them because as soon as love flies the shadow of death will swoop down to shatter its wings.
And so I lived my life, roaming from village to village looking for information about Naraku and trying to find someone to bear my son. Some women complied and I would stay with them until sure that the meeting bore no fruit. Then I would move on. That is until I met up with a rather peeved hanyou and a girl who claimed to be from a future so far away it was unimaginable. That is until I met a demon slayer named Sango. The moment I saw her I fell for her completely. I could do nothing to prevent it I just fell and fell hard. She had me forever and I knew it.
This made it even harder to hurt her, though I knew I must. At first, I hoped with all my heart that she would see just how much of a monster I truly was and would avoid me. But even after she had seen the power of the wind tunnel and knew about my father’s death she still insisted on being friends. And then after awhile I noticed her start to watch me carefully. Analyzing my actions and words for hidden meanings. I knew that she was falling in love with me. Part of me wanted to sing with joy. The love that I felt the moment I saw her was unlike I had ever felt before.
One look at her and I knew that the love that I had for Peony was merely a childhood crush amplified by the years of living in the monastery. This was different. It consumed my very heart and soul erasing all the hurt and pain that had festered there for so many years. But the memory of Peony’s eyes still remained imbedded in my mind a constant reminder of what I was. Monster, murderer. Is that what I wanted for Sango? To hear her painful screams as she was consumed by the piercing winds of the wind tunnel in the palm of the child she worked so hard to bring into the world. To hear her mournful keens as she watched her husband be devoured by his own curse. To see her tears and hear the scorn and jeers as she carried her son in her arms as villagers closed and locked their doors to the tired mother in widow’s garbs. Each spoke of possibility dug deep into his heart like the sharp blades of a throwing star. No, she deserved much more than that. She deserved someone who could hold her without fear that he would be the cause of her death. She needed someone that could love and protect her until she grew old. Someone who could be a true father to her children.
No, I need to hurt her. Push her away before I hurt her anymore then I need to. I flirt and flatter the village girls when she is the only one I desire, to protect her from me. I grope her whenever she gets to close even though each angry look leaves a fresh scar on my heart. So she will be too angry to fall any deeper in love then she already is. I can only do one thing for her and that is to continue my quest to kill Naraku. To get revenge for my family, for my father, and for my love. To get revenge for everything that has been taken from her, from me, and from what we could have been together. I no longer wish to die at night. I wish to live for her and if that means to bear her anger, her tears, and even die for her if she needs me to do. Sango is too special for this. She’s a bright light in my shadowed world and I will protect her at all cost. A rustling beside me catches my attention. Kagome holds out a roasted fish. I smile and except it. In return I get a humph and an angry glare. Sighing I glace over at Sango and a sharp pain goes through my heart at the hurt look on her face. She catches my glances and sends me an annoyed look before going back to her work. Yes, she will survive and I will follow her as long as my curse allows. The only thing I cannot give her is love. I can’t let her love me. I can’t smother another flower with my curse. Murderer, Monster. I put the fish aside and sighed. Looking up at sky, I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the tears as deaths shadow pulled in closer swallowing everything but my grief and hungry for the day it can consume that too.