Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha but I love to toy with him
Nightmares
“I love you,” those three words fly from my lips before I can stop them. My ears flatten on my head as I look away from the cold women in front of me. I feel her hatred and malice in her stare as I tremble in front of her, afraid to raise my eyes.
Thin lips curl into a wicked smile. “Sit boy.” She whispers, a note of sadistic joy ringing through her voice as she watches me slam face first into the ground, the beads of the subjugation necklace glowing softly. I cry out, as I impacted not so much out of pain but out of sorrow. I hear her footsteps approaching and struggle to rise from the forest floor, to defend myself, but the beads keep me pinned right where she wants me to be. I hear her stop over me and brace myself.
Her hand shoots outward and I resist the urge to cry out when she grabs my head roughly. Her hand curls around my silver hair, their fingernails digging into my scalp as she yanks my head up sharply to look into my eyes. I try to hold back the tears filling my eyes but fail. The salty liquid spills onto my cheeks and trace down my face.
Kagome’s eyes narrow at the sight of my tears and I can see her face twist with disgust. She pulls a hand back and I flinch and attempt to crawl away, but her hold on my hair prevents me from escaping her grip. Her hand comes down, impacting my face with a sickening slap, knocking me down to the forest floor once more. Somewhere deep inside me, my demon bucks against my control. It whispers dangerous suggestions, tells me to kill the girl in front of me for her impudence. I cower away knowing that I did not have he strength. I loved her. I could not hurt her. Like a beaten dog, I just lay there, shaking in sorrow waiting for her next move.
Kagome stares down at me, her hatred burning my very soul. She kneels, leaning in closer before yanking my hair harder till I am forced to look into her eyes once more. “Stupid half-breed. Do you really think that I would stoop so low as to fall in love with someone as pathetic and as weak as you?” With that, she slams my face into the ground making my head spin. “Sit boy,” she states again. Once my face hit the forest floor, she grabs the bag that she has carried with her for all these years and heads for the well.
She pauses as she when she gets to the side. For a moment, I think that she may stay, that I might have a chance. Then I watch as she lifts the small jar of jewel shards from her neck. Examining the jar, she smiles cruelly. “Someone like you should never have even thought you had a chance with me. Even with all the jewel shards in the world you will still be nothing but a ridiculous hanyou.” smiling Kagome pulls out a match and touches it to the side of the bone eaters well. The old dried wood lights immediately. The young women swiftly dives into the well before the flames consume it, disappearing back into her own time forever.
I cry out after her, but know she won’t answer me. Despite her abusiveness, my heart still wrenches as the women I love disappears forever not only rejecting my love but also stealing away with her my only means of overcoming my weakness, my only means of becoming a true demon. Suddenly I begin to feel a rushing numbness engulf my body as I give up. Without the jewel, without Kagome, I have no reason to live. I feel hollow suddenly. Emotionless. I listen to the crackling flames as the well behind me burns. As the crackling gets louder, some part of my mind registers the fact that the flames are getting closer spreading across the forest floor fueled by the dry underbrush towards my position.
I don’t move. Even when the flames lick at the spread tangled curtain of my hair. I didn’t flinch even as I felt the heat of the fire as it licks against my clothing. I don’t scream even when the flames begin to burn my hands, feet and neck, the only parts that the robe do not guard. I know that death will be slow, with the flames movement restricted. The only way it would be able to kill is to travel outward from my hand and feet to slowly smolder inward. Maybe I will be lucky and the horrible burns on my neck and face will be enough to destroy me. This thought reassures me and I smile, closing my eyes and give into the flames.
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I awake with a gasp barely containing the scream that threatened to escape my lips. The hut is quiet the others laying, sleeping, on the cots the villages gave for them in thankfulness for the “exorcism “Miroku preformed. I am glad that no one is awake to see the tears that are streaking down my face or the sobs that I was barely containing in the aftermath of the nightmare. Trembling, I shake my head in an effort to wipe away any lingering visions of the dream. Impatiently, I scrub the tears from my eyes and curse myself for the sign of weakness. “Damn it, it was just a dream.” I whisper trying to still my shaking. “It wasn’t real,”
Sighing, I look towards the girl sleeping a few feet from me. In her sleep, her face looks so angelic. It seems impossible that that face could twist itself into the malice hateful face from my dream. Still I feel a slight twinge of fear. Has it really reached this point that I am afraid of a girl thousands of times weaker then me? Has it really reached the point that my love makes me weak? I am way too dependent on her. I should send her away before the vision of my nightmare becomes a reality. I should send her back just to protect her from becoming the monster of my dream. There are many reasons I should send her back, but every time I move to do so, every time I pick a fight to make her return to her own time I always crawl back to retrieve her in the end.
Sighing, I turn away from her to stare out into the darkness. I scan the forest in search of anything dangerous that might capture my attention. I search desperately for anything to keep my mind occupied for even the smallest amount of time. I know I would not be able to sleep for the rest of the night. I would not be able to erase that memory of Kagome’s rejection from my head. The only thing I can do is protect them from the night. I’ll fight demons threatening to kill them now and pray that my nightmares will never come true. For no matter how much I would like to deny it, no matter how much I would like to avoid it, I know that if given the choice to live without her, to live alone or to die in flames. I would choose to burn every time.
