"You are the first person I have ever met that has made me feel like this, its like I can really smile when I am with you and not just put a fake smile on to cover up what I am feeling," Sahiro told me, and I had the feeling he was being genuine.
"Do you realize what you would be giving up by becoming immortal? You will never get the chance to be 'normal' ever again. You will have to watch as others die all around you," i told him, trying to prepare him for what he was getting himself into. "You can't go back once it happens. You can't have any doubts or any regrets."
"Yes, and I understand!" Sahiro nodded. "No one here accepts me for who I am. They probably wouldn't even care if I was gone. I wouldn't miss any of them. I want to be your friend, Emiko. I want to be with you."
I was feeling a surge of emotions and decided to just go with it for once in my life. I kissed Sahiro on the mouth for five seconds before heading into the castle. "Why don't you sleep on it. Give me your answer in the morning." Dear God, what had I done?
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Ya, I just went with it...
I stood there motionless, staring straight ahead, but at nothing. My eyes had probably clouded over as I fought with myself inside my own head. He wanted to be immortal? Was there such a way? Well, there was the same way my own mother had done it to me. By dipping me into my family's cursed spring, she had placed the curse on me. I knew exactly where that spring was, but how could I be certain Sahiro meant what he said?
It was hard for me to even fathom having another immortal being beside me, as a friend. No one had ever said such a thing to me before, and I wasn't real sure how to handle it. I wanted to laugh and cry and jump for joy all at the same time.
I glanced up at the star studded sky. Could Sahiro be the savior my mother had once talked about right before she died?
"A savior will break that cold heart of yours, Emiko," my mother, on her deathbed assured me icily. Funny how she herself treated me so coldly.
I smirked, my eyes blood red, lusting to kill something, "That will be the day. You assured that no one would be able to truly get close to me," I told her with some resentment in my voice.
"If that is how you look at life, you will surely fail. There will be someone out there that accepts you for who you are," my mother's voice was almost gentle, caring in a way.
I glared at her, "What do you know? You know full well that I will always be alone."
"I prayed to the God's to grant my wish, and they will Emiko," she assured me before closing her eyes forever.
I glanced up, focusing my eyes on Sahiro, who was now in front of me. "Why would you want to even be around me?" I whispered. "I'm a cold hearted person, who takes great pleasure in the kill. I am mean to you always. How can you say such things?" I paused for a moment. "I do know of a way to be immortal.... Did you mean what you said?"
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What Sahiro had said, about wanting to be friends and liking me, had come as such a shock that I had stopped walking, and for a moment, I think I stopped breathing. A friend? An honest, true friend? Before I could stop it, a tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away quickly, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.
He was waiting for me to respond, and I wasn't sure what to say. I decided that being honest was the best way to go. "Sahiro, I like you too," all the smart remarks were gone. I was 100% serious now. "But, I don't know if we can be friends." I was looking him straight in the eyes.
Confusing found its way to his already red face. "Why not?"
"I'm immortal, and I can't die. I don't want to watch someone else I really care about die. I don't think I can take it, not again. It's why I distance myself from people. It's why I am the way I am. Besides, in the end, one of us will end up betraying the other," I explained.
He started to say something, but I silenced him, holding up a hand so that I could finish what I wanted to say. It was hard enough the way it was.
"I know it is selfish of me to think this way, but you have no idea what it is like to live for centuries and be betrayed time and time again by the people close to you. I know you wouldn't think that you would ever do this to me. You are a truly caring guy, Sahiro, but..." I found myself reaching out to him, touching his cheek and being honest with myself for the first time in years. "I'm scared."
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Sahiro was sitting beside me and we were just shooting the breeze when a wolf howled; it was pretty loud and seemed to come from right behind us. Sahiro screamed, grabbing me. I wasn't expecting it and we ended both falling into the river. I glared at Sahiro who on top of me, my whole body complete soaked through.
"You idiot!" I shouted, hoping against all odds that he wouldn't notice my red face. I pushed him off of me, trying to put some distance between the two of us.
"Uhh... sorry!" he said rubbing his head and smiling as he got up and out of the river.
"Have you forgotten you are part wolf yourself?" I asked as I got up. Trudging out of the river, I sat back down on the log ignoring the chill that went through my body from the cold. Sahiro was wringing out his dripping wet clothes, looking a little embarrassed. I smiled slightly before realizing what I was doing. I quickly ducked my head. What was wrong with me? Snap out of it, Emiko!
"Want to go back? It is kinda late..." he asked suddenly, pulling me out of my own thoughts, which was probably a good thing. I was getting a little carried away.
"Ya sure," I mumbled as I stood up and we began the trek back to the castle. I glanced at Sahiro out of the corner of my eye. He was staring straight ahead and seemed to be lost in thought. I wondered what about.
Wait, why did I care? Why was I suddenly being so... unlike me? Was it because he was showing me compassion? Caring? Kindness? Something that no one else had shown me in a long time? Or, was it something much deeper than that, which was what I was leaning more towards.
I shook my head. I wasn't interested in Sahiro. That was a foolish and rediculous notion to even be contemplating. It wouldn't ever be able to work out, even if I allowed my emotions to run free. I was immortal, and he well, wasn't as far as I knew.
No, I needed to keep myself in check, keep my emotions in check, I corrected. The trail was getting narrower as we neared the castle, as the trees were getting pushed farther together so we walked in single file order, me behind Sahiro. He held the branches so it wouldn't hit me in the face, which was quite considerate of him.
I sighed, wondering what I was going to do about him. I considered telling him off, keeping my distance from him, but I couldn't bring myself to actually do that. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Centuries of alone time was enough for me. What I wouldn't do to be mortal again.
Again, I wondered what Sahiro was thinking about. I bet he hated me; I had never really treated him kindly. In fact, I was always yelling at him. The poor guy had no idea how I really felt!
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Sitting up, I glanced up at the crescent moon, which shone brightly like a beacon in the night sky surrounded by the twinkling stars. If only I had been that lucky, lucky enough to find loyal followers that would be able to stay with me for all eternity like the stars and the moon.
Unfortunately, I seemed to be the sun, who no one liked to look at, chasing after the moon, who everyone wanted to look up to. I wasn't good enough to deserve anything other than my rotten life I was given. It was punishment for something, something I had yet to discover.
My own mother had done this to me out of her egotistical, selfish manners. She didn't want me to ever die, but in doing so, she had forced me to watch everyone I ever cared about die before me while I was powerless to do anything other than watch them.
Standing up, I walked to the river's edge, which wasn't too far away from the castle. Sitting on the bank, I looked at my reflection in the water. At the moment, I was posing as a beautiful maiden. It saddened me that I had to put up these stupid facades. The real me was ugly and no one would want to get to close.
I sighed as I morphed into my true form. My long, blonde locks of hair blowing in the slight breeze. My piercing blue eyes scared even me with the coldness they held within them. It was a necessary precaution. If I didn't put up that wall, who knew who would get too close at get hurt. A lone tear fell down my cheek. What was wrong with me? Was it because everyone else seemed to have someone close to them? I didn't usually interact with this many people. I chose to stay alone. Was I lonely? Was that this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach?
I heard a noise behind me; turning, I saw Sahiro emerging from the trees. "What are you doing out here?" he asked gently, approaching me tentatively.
I looked up at him, wondering if he could read me like an open book. I hoped not. I was at my most vulnerable at this point, and I didn't want to hurt him or get stepped on, again. "Enjoying the night," I replied softly.
He sat down beside me. "Mind if I join you?"
"You've already made up your mind," I nodded my head nonetheless. Deep down, deep, deep down in my heart, I was glad he was here.
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