"I wonder what my past was like... I don't remeber my parents at all or how I ended up with the Mistress," Sahiro told me, forlornly. He stared at the grass at his feet, reminiscing.
I tilted my head, looking over at him. His parents must have died or abandoned him at a young age for him not to remember them at all. I was leaning more towards the ladder as he seemed to really miss them and was deeply saddened by the fact that he didn't really get a chance to know them. And wasn't it harder to deal with a parent dying than one who purposefully left you behind? Wasn't it heart-wrenching knowing that you weren't good enough to be loved?
"I wish I could have met them," Sahiro sniffled, pulling me out of my revere. If it was this difficult to talk about for him, for him to still get teary eyed, then it had mean he was abandoned. It seemed I needed to give him some peace of mind.
"Let me guess, your parents abandoned you when you were young, left you to the mercy of some village where they beat you, ignore you, scorned you. Someway, shape or form, you found your mistress and somehow the wolf spirit was sealed inside of you."
"How'd you guess?" Sahiro asked after he looked at me quizzically.
I shrugged as I rolled over onto my stomach and put my chin into my hand. "Everyone has some sob story, right? I just put two and two together. I've lived for generations. I see everything, how families should act, how families do act. I see the pain and anguish around me of those in trouble. You're a loner, like me, who has questions, doubts, but no answers. Your parents walked away from you, and to you that's harder to bear than if they had just died. You feel they didn't love you, that they couldn't handle you. You wish you could be normal, someone they can love so you can have a happy family together."
Sahiro stayed quiet, meaning I had hit home with my words. I just hoped I wasn't being too harsh, but I had used up my quota of goodness yesterday.
"Sorry to tell ya, kid, but there is no going back. No matter how much you may wish it, or may pray to the Gods, it will never change the fact that your parents are gone or the fact that there are truly evil people out there that don't care for anyone other than themselves, people who push you away, hurt you far deeper than usual, leaving scars that can't possibly heal."
"You sound as though you are speaking from experience," Sahiro finally said after a moment.
I blinked and realized he was right. I had been putting my own feelings and experiences into it. "I learned the hard way." I turned away and stared up at the clouds in the sky.
Continue?
