Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.
I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.
I've had to pry Demian away from the back fence to come inside several times today. The neighbors behind me got a small dog. I am very worried Demian wants it to be a snack
I feel like I haven't been doing anything and I'm not busy at all.
It's a ruse though. While my time is free, I've had stuff going on, though it's all internal. As I had mentioned before, my Aunt passed away last week. My mother took it really hard. I'm still kind of worried about her. I've been periodically checking on her, just to make sure she isn't too sad. I went to the wake on Sunday. I wore high heels. at 5'6'' plus heels, I felt like a goddamn giant. it was crazy. That day wore me out though, and it took several days to get . back on track. 7 hours in a car for a 10.5 hour trip.
I also mentioned previously that work was overstaffed and they were sending people home. No me gusta. I've been applying like crazy all over the place. I did some testing on Friday for a clerical job. We'll see.
I also mentioned previously about going back to school. I told my parents about my plans about a week ago. My mother damn near cried, I think. Cried from happiness, that is. In line with that, I filed my FAFSA today. I need money, but one way or another, this will become a reality.
So, I've had that stuff going on in my head, and yet it's only a small portion of what's taking up my brain. There is much swirling and chaos going on and I'm feeling somewhat crazy. My temper has been short with people who don't deserve it and I've been annoying to others. I really just need to be locked in a padded room for a couple of weeks, I think. There are a few catalysts to such things, but I'll spare you those as even to me they seem petty and silly. All in all, just know that it's easy to be me. Have a whole lot of potential and then waste it.
There are bright spots, I'm motivated now for school, I've also tried to start some exercise on a daily basis. It's not a lot of exercise mind you, but a little is more than I was doing before. My quads were killing me for days after starting, but alternating the bike and the kettle bell routine seems to help.
I am an angry, distrusting and self deprecating girl. It's not often that I bother with people. It's more a shortcoming of mine than it is of the human race, at least probably. I am very like a kicked puppy, I suppose. I still flinch a lot too. It takes a long time to garner my attention, even more for me to trust. Once you have it, I'm fiercely loyal, which just makes me kickable again. Hats off to you, Universe. You got me again.
Universe 17-Molly 4
It's fun to make up statistics
Felix drew a PICTURE. It's of me and Deena at Linku's request. Go like it or face my wrath.
In other news, the rhino at my zoo died this morning. [Molly makes a sadly] I liked him, he showed a lot of personality.
I tried to do my kettle bell workout tonight. It's 30 minutes... I did like 6 minutes. The squats were killing me, not to mention I'm a fat kid and just generally out of shape. Holy fuck...
I'm going to be working OT at night this week. they're offering OT after 5 but sending morning people home at like 10... think it through, fellas... -___-
I went to KC for my Aunt's wake on Sunday. I would have tayed for the funeral Monday except I had to fucking work at 7 AM on Monday. they then sent me home at 10 AM on monday. Why couldn't I have just stayed? Oh well... whtever.
Tornadoes did not eat my face off. It was kind of touchy for a while. Lots of damage in town. My little old lady neighbor allowed me into her basement,, but I couldn't take my dogs. I was really worried about them, but I didn't want to push the safety hospitality. Maybe if I was normal and had 1 or 2 dogs, but I have 4 stupid big dogs. I love them. Well, I have 3 and roomie has one. that equals 4.
Twas an exciting evening here in KS. I'm a little tired.
Skip this first paragraph, it's an overshare.
I don't mind being a girl, my monthly lady time is not all that intrusive. It's at most 3 days and easy. My friends all hate me. The stereotype I hate being is a PMS stereotype. My PMS actually lasts longer than my period. I get moody and I transition between weepy sad and fucking pissed off at Olympian speeds. I try and hide it as best I can. Really, I'm off my anti depressants at this point, but I halfway want to take them about 10 days every other month. sometimes it's worse than others. Alright, random whiny overshare done.
My Aunt passed away in her sleep this morning. Services are not yet scheduled.
It's raining again. I love it. Except my ceiling leaks over the foot of my bed...
Work is getting stupid. I work for a 3rd party call center and they are realigning my center. They've moved one project out and are retraining those reps to work on my project. That means that my Project is over staffed and they are sending people home like 2 hours into their shift on the daily. How can people afford working 2-3 hours of a 8 hour shift? they can't. Not to mention, while the employees are retrained, the computer stations have not been retooled yet so we don't have desks for all the new people. The upper management is coming down hard on everyone because goals are not being met. are they redoing the goals since people are working a third of their time are they expecting a third of the original goals? NOPE. How does management become management? Promote to the highest level of incompetence? Fuck. I really just want to own a liquor store and hang out there all day. This is the kind of environment I left at my previous job. I'm so angry
