Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.
I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.
This is a weird thing to say, since I live alone in a one story house. Jesse will always be my upstairs neighbor, though. He was the first friend I made when I moved to Manhattan in 2002. When I moved, the person whose space I was filling in the apartment hadn't moved out yet, so I was couch surfing for a week. I was sitting out on the back of my car one night being sad and annoyed because the living room where I was roughin' it was being used as a living room. I was out there a good long while and suddenly a dude sits next to me on the car and asks if I'm alright. He'd noticed that I hadn't really moved in like an hour. He just hung out with me and we talked a while. He lived 2 floors above us. From that point on, we were buddies. parties, Mario Kart tournaments, movies...
Jesse ran interference on the guy who tried to stalk me. He's a good dude. He hit some rough times. He had an ugly divorce, he turned to drinking and then he beat it. He has 2 little boys who adore him. He died yesterday. I hadn't talked to him since 2014, because life is that way, but I miss him already.
The world needs more kind people.
My long time best buddy Demian has passed away. He's my Old Man dog, he was ten years old. He got in a fight with one of my foster dogs and got a massive infection. He went septic and died. It all happened in 2.5 days. I'm so sorry, to my Boo. I'm sorry his ending was painful and drawn out. I'm sorry he can't smile at me anymore, and I'm really sad.
One day I'll post about something that isn't a dog tragedy... Probably.
Miss P and I took her final trip today. Everyone played outside this morning, Penelope and I snuggled. We went driving for about half an hour because she loved car rides. We went through Starbucks and she got a pup cup of whipped cream. She sat with me in the waiting room like a good girl. I sat on the floor in the exam room and my 90 pound girl sat right in my lap, which is where she stayed until she left me. I pet her and told her I'm sorry.
I'm not just sad. I feel so guilty. My mistake has cost these 2 poor dogs everything. I didn't realize just how much of the energy in my house originated with Ted the Dog. Everyone is so subdued now. There's a minimal amount of chase in the yard, and poor Hudson seems to keep looking for his friend.
Crying gives me headaches. I can't really mourn them publicly because the whole situation would reflect poorly on the rescue. Thank goodness very few of the people in my day to day have any idea of my page here, and I can lament and be very emo...
After the disaster of July 2 (explained in my previous post), my poor Penelope will be put down tomorrow, or maybe Wednesday. It may be Wednesday because I have to work Tuesday to get my holiday pay, and I can't beat the thought of stopping her off for it and not being there with her.
Penelope is my first rescue foster. She came to my house last August. She was adopted in December. She was returned 2 weeks ago. I love her.
I could not stand the thought that he last days would be spent locked away in a kennel. I was advised to keep her separated and kenneled. I have kept her with me all day. We took a walk this morning. We laid in bed and watched a movie. I mowed part of the lawn so she could chase the mower around because she loves that. She got a bratwurst for lunch and some ice cream. Everyone has napped a lot.
I'm keeping my shit together pretty well, but I lost it today looking at Lucy and it made me think of Ted the Dog and I burst into tears.
I had a previous foster named Penelope. A couple of weeks ago her adopters called me and told me she had killed a Pomeranian. I have no idea what happened, but I think it started in the bathroom. I think Laz was in his regular place in the tub. I think Ted went in there and that's what started it. I think Laz and Ted tussled in the tub and Penelope joined in and killed poor Mr. Ted in the living room. I'm so devasted and I feel responsible for the loss of this poor, sweet boy. I'm so sorry, Ted. You didn't deserve this.
With her history, Penelope will b put down on Tuesday when the vet opens. Until that time she'll be kenneled and let out separately.
Had I just put you in your kennels, the two of you would not have lost/lose your lives. I have not not done right by you.
