Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.
I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.
Life's little twists and turns.... *sighs*
I have a migraine and I feel like my brain may explode and leak from my ears. I kind of want to die until it goes away.
I watched Soul Eater over the weekend. It was fun. I really like Death. The character, that is. He amused me. silly and cryptic, I like it.
My sister might be coming to visit on Thursday. We will go see Prince of Persia and then hang around my house watching movies I think she should be educated about. It'll be fun!
My younger brother called me this morning. He said that there may be a PR position opening up in the college associated with his monastery. He didn't tell me when or what the pay is. blergh... Weird twists and turns...
I woke up this morning from a strange and disturbing dream. I'm still trying really hard to figure it out. The more I think about it though, the more details are lost. It's somewhat nonsensical, and I don't recall the beginning point.
That being the case, I do recall having an urgent need to use the phone. The only phone I could see in the entire place was an old style rotary phone. I went to try and use it, but it was actually a cake made to look like a phone. Then suddenly I was in a cooking class and a girl was complaining that her cake was always dry and hard and asked me for help. We chit chatted and I told her I would help. I went to gather cake making things, and was right back in a dark and hideously dirty kitchen with the cake that looked like a phone. I tried to cut a piece off, but it was so stale that I couldn't cut it and the corner finally crumbled away. For some reason this steeled my resolve to make a good cake, and I went back to my search for ingredients.
So far this doesn't sound so disturbing, but the tension of the setting was tangible.
In my search for ingredients, I looked under the sink for some reason. There I did not find cooking stuffs, but rather clothes. Some were wet like the plumbing leaked, others were not, but they were all mine. I started pulling them all out and throwing them behind me on the floor. My younger brother entered the kitchen and I turned to ask him something. "Is this all the laundry we had gone through in my room?" referrencing an earlier part of the dream that is lost to my conscious mind.
"Of course. It's better for them there," was his stoic reply.
"It's damp!" I shouted at him for trying to ruin my clothes.
"It's dark. Dark is better for us." I turned to look at him. He was no longer my younger brother of adulthood, he was my younger brother at age 7 or so. He continued to talk in a calm, level but cryptic demeanor. I continued to pull items out of the never ending cabinet under the sink.
My confusion and frustration grew. I only remember snippets of what he was saying, but he was hinting at we were something else, and perhap not worthy. Worthy of what I don't know. At some point I was so frustrated I bent over the sink. Digging my fingers under the edge as I made fists, I pulled the sink loose of the countertop and something made a falling sound. I returned to the cabinet under the sink and emerged with a manilla envelop. It contained Bill of Sale records and some photos. The sales had been of my older siblings. It turns out they, and I, were androids.
I had a confused breakdown on the floor of the kitchen, all the while the child version of my brother explaining things to me as he sorted all the clothes I had pulled out of the cabinet. I couldn't bear to listen to him, still trying to sort things out in my own mind. Then my mother arrived. I confronted her about the sales records, and she confirmed it as my brother climbed into her lap. Telling me that they had also found out about their mechanical status, they had been sold. Turning then to my brother, she started to ask if he would be lonely as I would now also have to be sold. He told her that I didn't need to be sold, just reprogrammed.
As they discussed me future in front of me, I realized that I also had become a small child. In my feelings of foreboding and dread, did I turn and run? No, I went back to trying to make the cake. I couldn't find what I needed and I didn't care. I had what I think was busquik and I was putting it in a bowl of water. Suddenly my mother was at my side offering to help. I was trying to convince her to leave me alone, and she said that she might as well help, she may want pancakes in the morning. There was something else in the statement during the dream, but I can't remember it. It hinted at the fact that I wouldn't be there to make those pancakes though.
I screamed at her that I wanted to make a CAKE, not fucking pancakes and finally fled outside. There were these boxes on the trees outside and I had no idea that they were for, but I saw moths moving from one to the next. There was also something else in the woods outside the house. I couldn't see it, but I could hear it. It was menat to keep me there. Strangely there was someone else outside, a young man. He was serene and he calmed me a bit. I talked to him for some time, and I finally asked what the boxes on the trees were. He advised me they were my way of escape. He walked up and touched one and turned into a moth, flying to the next box on a tree.
I was elated and went to touch the box, transforming into a moth just as my mother and brother emerged from the house. Trying to control my new form was difficult and I was having trouble flying. I dropped to the ground and resumed my adult form in time to see my brother squish the moth that had been the man to help me.
That is when I roused grumpily... It was really weird.
Joss Whedon directed last night's episode of GLEE. If you don't know who I am talking about, go right right now and never return. In honour of said event, tomorrow may be Joss Whedon Musical Day at Molly's house where Dr Horrible will meet the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode title "Once More With Feeling" Too bad Angel never had a musical episode. Neither did Dollhouse, I'm pretty sure. I might throw some Firefly on top of it just cause it's great.
Other than that, I've been watching the dance scene from last night's GLEE incesantly today, and work was almost more horrible than anything. I'm hungry but I have to wait until friday to eat because that is when I'll get some money. Wahoo!!
Joss Whedon >>>> most people.
Alright, I'm feeling kind of better after the tornado scare got my adrenaline up. No real damage, most rural tornados. I still haven't seen one. In 30 years of life, I have never seen a tornado, dammit.
Alright, back to the most important goal EVER. I have recently decided that since I live right in the goddamn middle of the country that the people who matter (also read "the people who read my page") need to get their asses to my house and we will have a myO/theO keg party at my house, and if SG could convince Adam to sponsor that, I wouldn't complain. It's about damn time that I actually saw your faces instead of pictures of your faces. So, get your asses to my house this summer. I'm awesome and you should visit me.
READ WITH CAUTION, THIS POST WITH THE INCOHERENT EMO RAMBLINGS OF MOLLY AS PLAYED BY DEBBIE DOWNER.
alright, so I'm sitting here on my couch. I work in an hour and a half and I don't think I care. I need to call Human resources and request new FMLA paperwork I just don't want to do anything, including showering, watching TV, reading, eating and nothing. I can hear my stomache growling, and it's not even a bother. I wonder if I have brain worms.
Really, there's nothing wrong. I have just realized that the rut I'm in has been the destination, not part of the journey. I'm destined to be a slave to my menial job and my paycheck forever and I will never be free to figure out what I want to do, let alone do what I want. I don't know what I'm so whiney about. It's the fate of millions of Americans. Finally, I'm a joiner.
I really want to just continue this whining, but it's annoying even me. That, and I'm wholely unmotivated to do anything, and I guess that even means purging. blegh
