Do you ever just get a random phrase just stuck in your head and it won't go away until you do something with it? I do, but I cannot fit anything around it, and when I do, it make me sound much more whiney and/or emo than I am comfortable with.
Sweet Vermillion...
What the hell do you do with sweet vermillion? I get visuals of blood and romanticised masochism. Soomething I'm acquainted and comfortable with. I guess it's better to write about than do, but really.... I am not that emo!!! Maybe I am and just in denial.
(2 hours later)
So, I tried to write a poem and I got 2 verses in and put the brakes on. It was bad and whiny. I'm hungry and kind of hating life and the world at this very second.
I've been neglectful of stuff here. I've been fairly boring lately. My allergies are going crazy.
My payroll screwed up, and I only got a quarter of my deserved paycheck. That was last friday and I still don't have my money. Just as well, since I seem to have lost my debit card at some point in the last 2 days. grrrrr
Seamus is not calming down at all. I'm becoming tired of his puppyishness. He is still very sweet, I just want him to chill out a bit, and leave Demian alone. He antagonizes Demian to no end, and Demian is still all sulky about the new addition.
Jordan hasn't decided what he's doing at the end of his lease. I'm somewhat frightened that he may go to New York. A strange part of me wants him to go and for things to work out. The last thing I want in the world is that he would be miserable. I would love to be what makes him not miserable, but the thought that he could be happy there is both a hope and a fear for each of us.
I NEED SOME MONEY!
So, really, what the fuck am I doing with my life?
Alright, now that EMO is out of the way, I'm doing alright, actually. Seamus is settling in well, and I'm getting back into the swing at work. As a matter of fact, I am not hating my job lately and that is almost on the awesome sde.
There was a baby giraffe born at the zoo today. Is there a special name for a baby giraffe? I need to find that out. Not for any reason in particular, I just sudden feel the urge to know.
I'm hungry, but I never know what I want to eat. I've been eating a lot of pop tarts lately. Food of the Gods, that one is.
I hung out with my buddy, Jeannie today. It was awesome cause I haven't seen her in a long time. I miss being friends with people.
My laptop is not charging, but I'm too impatient to wait on the line for Dell. Stupid things that fuck up!
Okay, so I didn't steal YOUR dog, but I got a new one. He's a pit/staffordshire terrier mix. He's beautiful and sweet. He's 50 pounds, so about half of Demian's size. He kind os has some hero worship for Demian, I think. Demian quickly asserted dominance, and Seamus (the new dog) kinds of seems to think he's awesome and follows him around a lot. He's really good in the car and on walks. I'm going to need a bigger car if I intend to take all 3 of them anywhere. Esther Just kind of ignores him and seems to think him an annoyance. Jordan got mad that I got a new dog. I figure he doesn't get a say at this point. He doesn't live here with us.
I slept a lot last night, and I'm thinking of napping now. I've had ridiculous insomnia for a week and I'm finally catching up.
I don't have a lot going on. Just work and chilling with my buddies. people laugh at me cause I never go out on the weekend, and I used to feel weird aobut it, then I realized that I am ususally out like 2 or 3 time during the week, and in the weekend I just chill with my dogs and maybe a friend or two. I hate bars that are too crowded, so the weekend is not for me.
I read that damn Twilight book. The first third was kind of charming, but for most of the last part I was either bored or annoyed. Frankly I was more interested in the Vamp Family than the romance.
I just woke up. It's 3 in the afternoon and I just woke up. Well, I did wake up the first time around 9:30, went to the doctor and ate, then napped the day away. I could probably go back to sleep too.
So tomorrow is probably the last day of my little vacation. I have been off work since the 18th. Itg was kind of an unexpected vacation. I am on leave from work for a depression episode. I am feeling much better, so please dont worry.
I went to an amusement park with my sister and her family on Sunday. It was loads of fun and I rode my first rollercoaster. One was enough. I've been afraid of them since I can remember, but I figured, "What the hell." It was fun, but one was enough.
I want ice cream.