Sooooooo, my last post was all whiny. My dr increased my dosage on my meds. I think it's better... I think. In the doldrums of my whininess, I told my parents that if it weren't for my dogs, I would ask if I could quit my horrible job and move back into their house. It was strictly in passing and out of pure frustration. I never considered it a realistic possibility, but my parents have put a lot of thought into it over the last week. Yesterday my parents said that if I really wanted or needed to, I could do just that. The conditions being I go back to school and my dogs stay outside if no one is home. These are easy and totally reasonable conditions that I would have problem adhering to.

Why am I hesitant? It feels like I would be taking a big step back in my life. I moved out at 17 and have never had to move back in. I would be moving to a town I've never lived in and do not know anyone that is an hour away from my current city and my estranged spouse with whom I am more than willing to work things out with, if he were able to grow the fuck up.

For some reason, it is just frightening to me, and I don't know why. It's the ideal I wanted, but faced with the reality of an ideal, it's petrifying. give up and start over? Muddle through this until something gets better... IF something gets better?

Gawd, I'm whining again!! my life isn't so terrible! I am not abused or starving. I just have a loathsome job and a stupid husband who can't recognise things right in front of him. there are so many other things that could be so much worse, not that I want that, I'm just saying!