Alright, so, on to the actual post on actual things that are going on in the epic, awesome life of THE MOLLY. Makes it sound really important, no? It's really not.
Last Thursday I went to Hutch to sign a bunch of paper work and get my loan process started on my house. I'm locked in at 4.5% which is amazing. I'm really rather indifferent to this entire house buying thing, but it needs to get done and my payment will drop by $50 a month.
August, as I previously stated, has flown by. I meant to work every scheduled day in the month of August, but them I got a sucker punch to my soul. So, in my infinite wisdom of bowing to emotion instead of reason, I didn't get off my couch for a week and I stayed home from work and used up the rest of my medical leave., which is fine, and won't be getting paid, which isn't fine.
What's worse is I'm smilin' through the whole fucking thing. I am so tired of being sad or angry or indifferent. I just want to finally be alright. Just when I'm starting to get there, something else kicks me. I can't talk to Blair about it, all she will do is find someway to turn it into talking about herself. I don't want to talk about it with Lacy because I just want to have fun with Lacy. I'm sure she wouldn't care if I'm not fun, but she inspires me to have fun and I don't want to be a downer around her. Liz actually asked me about it, but it was at her birthday party, so I refused to talk about it as I would not ruin the mood on her birthday.
I called my sister tonight, and just kind of unloaded. I don't have money for rent or bills. The credit company is calling, I stopped eating and Esther is going to be out of food in two days. If Jordan had a penny to his name, at this point I'd take it from him. Just conversationally speaking, like checking off the laundry list. My mom still hasn't found a job, so I can't ask my parents for money and if I don't pay my rent my brother can't feed his kids. Add to my emotional issues and my money stress the 12 different people who know I'm an awesome listener and give amazing advice laying their shit on me. I'm kind of grateful for that as it keep my mind off of my stuff, but good fucking gods, can a girl get a breather?
Anyway, I was whining at my sister, and I just 10 minutes ago got a text from her that put me into tears. She and her husband are going to loan me some money, which I didn't ask for, and she's going to bring it tomorrow. I am so grateful for my family. I don't know what life would be without amazing people like them. I sitting here, still crying a little. Both out of stress and gratitude and slight relief.
I'm going to be working A LOT of overtime while they offer it though. I'm not getting to this point again. I want to rebuild my savings and have the cushion back I used to. I really gave some very powerful thought to cashing in my 401k. I'm not going to live long enough to retire anyway. I'm a fat kid with a family history of diabetes, heart disease and mental illness. I'm sure something will get me before I can retire.
Oh, and GIRL STUFF.
That is all from this ray of sunshine.
