I feel like I haven't been doing anything and I'm not busy at all.
It's a ruse though. While my time is free, I've had stuff going on, though it's all internal. As I had mentioned before, my Aunt passed away last week. My mother took it really hard. I'm still kind of worried about her. I've been periodically checking on her, just to make sure she isn't too sad. I went to the wake on Sunday. I wore high heels. at 5'6'' plus heels, I felt like a goddamn giant. it was crazy. That day wore me out though, and it took several days to get . back on track. 7 hours in a car for a 10.5 hour trip.
I also mentioned previously that work was overstaffed and they were sending people home. No me gusta. I've been applying like crazy all over the place. I did some testing on Friday for a clerical job. We'll see.
I also mentioned previously about going back to school. I told my parents about my plans about a week ago. My mother damn near cried, I think. Cried from happiness, that is. In line with that, I filed my FAFSA today. I need money, but one way or another, this will become a reality.
So, I've had that stuff going on in my head, and yet it's only a small portion of what's taking up my brain. There is much swirling and chaos going on and I'm feeling somewhat crazy. My temper has been short with people who don't deserve it and I've been annoying to others. I really just need to be locked in a padded room for a couple of weeks, I think. There are a few catalysts to such things, but I'll spare you those as even to me they seem petty and silly. All in all, just know that it's easy to be me. Have a whole lot of potential and then waste it.
There are bright spots, I'm motivated now for school, I've also tried to start some exercise on a daily basis. It's not a lot of exercise mind you, but a little is more than I was doing before. My quads were killing me for days after starting, but alternating the bike and the kettle bell routine seems to help.
I am an angry, distrusting and self deprecating girl. It's not often that I bother with people. It's more a shortcoming of mine than it is of the human race, at least probably. I am very like a kicked puppy, I suppose. I still flinch a lot too. It takes a long time to garner my attention, even more for me to trust. Once you have it, I'm fiercely loyal, which just makes me kickable again. Hats off to you, Universe. You got me again.
Universe 17-Molly 4
It's fun to make up statistics
