I'm fairly certain that this is my worst year for allergies ever. I've never really "suffered" from allergies before. They've always been manageable and I would sneeze. This year, I'm double dosing on zyrtek and claritan and still sniffling, sneezing, and having watery eyes. It also fucks with my singing voice. It's stupid and I hate it. I'm leaking. It sucks. Iz laughed at my sneezes. I hate him, too. With lurve of course.
Sunfalle will be here next week. Just further proof that I'm cooler than the average bear. I'm trying to motivate myself to clean with the knowledge that she's coming. I hate housework sooooo much. I also hate paying bills. Why did I become a grown up?
Wow, I'm spewing hate in this post and I didn't mean to. I'm in a good mood, I'm just whiny about my leaky face. I'm actually feeling weird today. I kind of feel outside my life the last couple of days. It's not even like how people say they are watching their life pass them by. I just feel completely detached from the whole thing. I'm not even sure I am participating in it, or want to. I need to get grounded. I've been distracted by happy recently that seems deceptively attainable.
Anyway, I need to see about school, been procrastinating on that still.
I have a job interview on Tuesday. cross your fingers.
In an effort to avoid any and all responsibility and housework, I've been reading my old, OLD posts. My world started right in the middle of the meltdown of my marriage. Reading them isn't sad for me except that I used to be much more creative in my writing....
Example:
Sometimes I feel like I'm only real because someone told me I was. Kind of like that Velveteen Rabbit. I'm only real because 1 person loved me enough to tell me I so. Now that person grew up and left me to the reality they thrust upon me. I would rather have stayed a toy on the floor...
It's emo, but it's a deeper thought than I feel like I've had in ages.
