Miss P and I took her final trip today. Everyone played outside this morning, Penelope and I snuggled. We went driving for about half an hour because she loved car rides. We went through Starbucks and she got a pup cup of whipped cream. She sat with me in the waiting room like a good girl. I sat on the floor in the exam room and my 90 pound girl sat right in my lap, which is where she stayed until she left me. I pet her and told her I'm sorry.

I'm not just sad. I feel so guilty. My mistake has cost these 2 poor dogs everything. I didn't realize just how much of the energy in my house originated with Ted the Dog. Everyone is so subdued now. There's a minimal amount of chase in the yard, and poor Hudson seems to keep looking for his friend.

Crying gives me headaches. I can't really mourn them publicly because the whole situation would reflect poorly on the rescue. Thank goodness very few of the people in my day to day have any idea of my page here, and I can lament and be very emo...