Alight this is an adult rated post. It's my log of what's going on with me, and it's not for you and I'm going to whiney and bitter. I'm going to talk about my marriage and this post will contain content that may be inappropriate for YOU.
I'm stupid and I'm tired of it. I was home last night, and I was fidgetty and bored, and I decided to drive down and drive past Jordan's house. I'm ashamed of this in the first place, leave me alone. Anyway, I was driving past Barleycorn's, the bar on the way to his house, and there he was, standing outside. I stopped breathing for 5 minutes, I swear. It also felt like my stomach dropped right out of my body. The man who sat and sulked on my couch for months and would not even go out to dinner with me is out at a bar on a Tuesday. What the fuck? Come on... Well, I did an uncommon freak out, and called Blair. She kind of calmed me down. I got in touch with Jonathan, and he was just getting off work, and I told him that was going to the Shamrock for a drink, cause I could not be home.
So, I was out with Jonathan. We had a couple of beers and a good time. I didn't even talk about Jordan, cause that would have made me suck. There was guy at the bar who rents and my BBV, and we kind of recognized each other and he laughed cause he now knows that we (Jonathan and I) were real people and not just Blockbuster people. He asked if he was right in remembering that I had a kid not too long back, and I said yes. We were in conversation, talking about a DUI close call I had once and he jokingly said my kid needs a better mom. I told him it was okay, I gave the kid up for adoption. He freaked out and felt bad and left. Take that, motherfucker.
Anyway, after we had our beers, I left. As I was getting in my car (no worries, I only had 2 beers over a 2 hr period) I called Jordan, cause I was feeling catty. He asked what I was doing, and I told him leaving The Shamrock. He gleefully told me that I was only a few blocks from him. I asked where he was, as if I didn't know. He said he was walking home from Barleycorns, and he had been there to see some guitarist. I felt a little better at that, since he wasn't just 'out' he had a purpose. I drove toward him,still on the phone with him, hoping to pick him up, since he was walking. He got home before I found him, but I did make fun of him due to the fact that he was unable to unlock his door.
So, I went to his house, and the second I walked in the door, I felt it was a good place for him. It's so much less cluttered, and there's so much less stuff. It suits him better and I felt stupid for not realizing how out of place he would be in our ridiculously stuff filled house. I have felt for a while I have too much stuff, and now I want to throw out almost everything in my house. Not to get him back, I just don't need this crap. He had bought a bunch of stuff he didn't have, kitchen stuff, mostly.
We sat and talked for a long while, about many different things. Eventually I kissed him, and he kissed me back. Thank god. Full blown make out, and it was fun. Eventually, it moved on, and I was shocked, because it was his move. I left almost immediatley after, but it was 3:30 am, and we were both extremely tired. I was satisfied, and kind of happy, but I feel weird about it. I wonder if he made that move since he got me hot and bothered, or if he actually wanted to. I am also just thinking today, "Which one of us was using the other?" That's jaded and wrong, isn't it?
My little old lady neighbor invited me over for tea on Sunday. She's a widow, and we were both lonely ladies with nothing to do. I was over at her house for like an hour and a half. It was pleasant. She's a nice lady.
