I didn't go to work yesterday or today. I'll probably go tomorrow. I still feel sick to my stomach, and I am still sad. Sadness is quickly giving way to anger and bitterness, which I don't need. It's understandable, but I don't need it.

In some excellent, exciting news, my loan application go approved, and my credit card debt will be giving way to regular grown-up loan debt. This is an improvement due to 1) the interest rate is FIXED 2) it will not continue to grow. 3) Lower monthly payments 4) after 3 years, I will be debt free

There's my little ray of sunshine.

My big black cloud still lingers, though. Jordan won't answer phone calls from me, he just communicates with me via text or email. Completely written correspondence. That make me feel like a divorce proceding is imminent, and all our dealings need to be recorded. I swear to God, if I get served with divorce papers, they are going straight into my shredder. I am not giving him a divorce. I will go to court and have a judge order counciling. That way he can't just refuse me. I don't want him to go away.

I did take him to the bike shop this morning. He asked me yesterday, and for some ridiculous reason, I said yes. I didn't really talk to him, and I really just wanted to hit him. He's ruining my life! The life I want to have with him, he's ruined the whole thing. At least I have stopped crying, I guess.
How can he say what he said to me this weekend, and then ask for a favor come Monday? It's shitty. I swear, I might die.