so yea thiz iz my 1st post on here. umm... i dont kno 2 much bout thiz whole nu system. at 1st i didnt like that they changed it, still wonderin why they did, but thatz in part cuz i didnt kno wat tha hell i waz doin...

but tha whole point of thiz post(like so many othahz) iz 2 state a point/question... iz it possible 2 have true happiness and still dont kno wat u want? iz it possible that u have EVERYTHING that u want and still not have wat u want? im in a very tough situation now and i dunno wat ima do... i waz in a relationship and i waz rele happi, but cuz of my curiousity(damn that curiousity) i basiclly jus messed everything up. i dont think any amount of sorry can heal wat i have done 2 thiz person cuz i kno that she truly carez about me and rele wantz 2 b wit me but 4 sum reason i jus cant manage. i think that alot of tha problemz i go thru seriously iz my fault cuz i am how i am... it suckz cuz i kno that i want 2 change but i dont kno exactly wat 2 change and pretendin 2 b sumthin im not im not rele good at. i cant say or pretend that i care wen deep down i kno that i dont, itz not in my character. i kno that i love thiz gurl and i jus keep messin thingz up... itz depressing 2 kno that sum1 actually lovez u in thiz forsaken world, and u jus messed it up... so now im alone, again and itz all my fault...super *sigh*