Having not long picked up an X-Box One and a Game Pass which explains the sudden burst in game reviews, I have been playing games I'd otherwise never buy, this includes Disneyland Adventures, a former Kinect game re-released for next gen. Now Disney is no stranger to having a creative license for it's games so the adventures of lets call them Child A, is exaggerated when compared to real life but it's hilarious when you view it through real life logic.
1. You are a Menace to Wildlife
You are given a megaphone to scare birds away from trees from Br'er Fox who is a villain, more on him later; there is actually no logical reason to scare away birds who are otherwise minding their own business, add to that you are fighting Gorillas with fruit, scaring vultures, shooting bats, swatting away bees, forcing birds to sing and smacking crocodiles. Think Peta will be having words.
2. Who are Br'er Fox, Bear and Rabbit?
They are characters from a series of books handed down in the old south about a trickster rabbit outwitting his carnivorous pursuers and said to be the main inspiration for Bugs Bunny. These incarnations come from the movie Song of the South which has been disowned by Disney in recent years for the obvious links to the slave trade in the era it's set.
3. Naveen is White
I'm pretty sure Naveen is meant to be an African Prince but he's practically white in this. Now I'm no SJW who needs a skin colour chart but whoever programmed Naveen was very careless considering how well Tiana was done.
4. You are Looting the Park
Everything you do creates coins so every action essentially takes away money from a functioning Theme Park, even if you buy everything from the stores, you make so much money it's impossible to ever run out of money.
5. Snow White is on Something
While most characters act like their movie counterparts, Snow White is clearly on mushrooms.
6. The Toontown Election was Rigged
One mission has you helping run the Toontown Election between Donald and Mickey but a last minute vote swings it in Mickey's favour through a ballot slip out of no where, Child A is not old enough to vote so this is the Will of Walt Disney here.
7. You are Constantly in Mortal Danger
Any attraction you go on takes you off to the very environment it's based on where the injuries you get would kill someone in real life. To list a few highlights, you fight pirates with real swords, get attacked by wild animals, get skewered by bramble bushes, get bashed by rocks on high speed moving vehicles and fight a space battle with lasers against an evil space lord.
8. You are Park Maintenance
The watering of flowers, functioning of lights, conducting of bands or even clearing up all the objects left by the Disney Characters, in fact helping any character you realize you are Park Maintenance.
9. Someone Give Karen a Raise
Karen is the park guide who gives random Disneyland facts but she is everywhere and probably exhausted, at least they had the sense to give the stores to different workers but Karen is doing everything.
10. This is the Disney that even Disney forgot
The saddest thing about this game, this is the Disney that everyone knows and should be. 2020 Disney's obsession with buying every major property from Marvel to Star Wars and turning all their classics into shadows of their former selves through live action makes this game all the more depressing when you see the lifeless money maker Disney has become when you play such a bright whimsical game as this one.
