“You think she enjoyed doing it? Look, she cared about Gildas as much as you did, and probably more on top of that! So don’t you dare blame this on her when she’s going to blame herself anyway!” Riku hissed angrily. Zexion looked him up and down, breathing heavily but not saying anything. I took hold of Zexion’s arm without realising, and steered him forwards, while Riku scooped Gildas up and followed us. All around us I could hear people whispering, but none of it sank in. All I knew to do was keep on walking.
Once we were at the Castle, we entered Gildas’s chambers and Riku laid his body on his bed gently. I couldn’t look at it, and yet Zexion couldn’t seem to look away. “So,” Riku started, in a business-like voice, “what are we going to tell people? We can’t tell them the truth. I was thinking an accident, since people will have already seen him…” I threw him a filthy look; did he really expect me and Zexion to want to talk about that right now? He walked over to me slowly and squeezed my hand gently. “I know you don’t want to think about stuff like that,” he said, his voice softening, “but we will have to, at some point. And the longer we put it off, the worse it will get.” I nodded.
Zexion sniffed loudly, and stood up. “Blame it on an accident. Arrange for an open casket funeral in three days time, as is tradition, with a march through the town before putting him to rest in the cathedral. You will need to notify Minister Artania of his passing very soon, as he will need to get in touch with everyone. He will make all the arrangements. Now, I’m going to lie down for a while. I hope you don’t mind.” He swept out of the room, with a sob just before he clicked the door shut.
Riku nodded. “Okay, I’ll notify the minister straight away. Maybe you should take a nap, too,” he said, peering into my face with a look of concern. I shook my head. “I want to stay with you.” Riku looked as though he wanted to argue until he saw my expression. He knew it would be futile to fight me now. I tailed after Riku helplessly as he explained to the Minister that Gildas had been out walking when he was struck with sudden pains in his chest, and had collapsed. He had been able to identify it as a heart attack, apparently, and he had taken Gildas’s body to his room. Artania took all this in, nodding gravely, and dispatched us with a flick of the wrist, saying only, “I shall arrange everything.”
Riku and I left the conference room, and set off for our guest room again. Riku flopped down, staring upwards, while I perched on the edge of the bed carefully. “Did I do the right thing?” I whispered, regretting it the moment the words slipped out. Riku sat up, sighing. “Don’t let what Zexion said get to you.” I shook my head; it was vital that he understood me. “It’s not that. It’s just…I was wondering. I don’t think I should have done it. Or I should have tried harder to undo it. Just, something! I should have done something more.”
“You did all you could,” Riku said quietly. “He asked you a favour, as his oldest friend, and you had to do it. If you hadn’t, he would have got Zexion to do it, anyway. It would have ended the same either way; and you would still be here, blaming yourself.” I stood up, backing away. “No, it wouldn’t. Zexion wouldn’t have done it. He cared about Gildas too much. Maybe this just proves that I didn’t care about him as much as I thought I did.”
“If you didn’t care, why are you so upset about this all?” Riku asked. I shook my head. “Because I’m selfish.” It was the truth. Riku opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped listening, and ran out of the room. People passed by in a blur, but I just kept moving up and up. Out on the roof, I leaned over the edge, letting the breeze play over my face. I heard someone call my name, but I just leaned further over, breathing in the fresh, cool air. “Haru!” It was much more distinct this time, but I just looked out over the vast empire.
Someone seized me by the shoulders and dragged me back. I was so startled that my legs folded beneath me, and I fell to the floor. “Don’t do anything rash, Haru, we can’t deal with another death,” panted an out of breath Zexion. I struggled up, imagining what it would be like to have just…fallen. “Actually, I wasn’t planning on throwing myself off,” I murmured, pulling my mind back. Zexion nodded. “Okay.” He began to walk away, but halfway he stopped, and turned slowly.
“Why…why did he make me do it? Why did I have to say those terrible things?” Zexion asked, close to tears again. I sighed, and said, “You don’t get it, do you? He was madly in love with you – he didn’t want to hear you say those things. It must have been so hard on him to listen to that, but…but he loved you enough to take them if it meant that you got to live.” Zexion burst into crazy sobbing again. I didn’t know how to comfort him, so I just patted him on the back gently.
The following day, Artania announced to the whole kingdom that Gildas had died. “He was a great ruler, with a kind heart. He always did what was right for this great nation, and rest assured that that continues even after his tragic passing.” I hadn’t gone to this announcement; I couldn’t stomach it. But Riku and Zexion had, and they reported back soon after. Apparently, all of the people had been shocked into silence, and then the shouts and tears had broken out. The people of Lindblum had loved Gildas, and his death was a massive blow.
It was time for Gildas’s funeral three days after his death, as had happened for every ruler before him. Zexion, Riku and I were all dressed in black from head to toe, and we would be walking behind Gildas’s coffin through the streets so the people could pay their last respects. Then, once we reached the cathedral, it would just be a select few – the three of us, the Minister, guards, advisors, chefs; anyone who worked in particularly close proximity to Gildas. “Are you ready?” Riku asked me quietly. I nodded, not trusting my voice to come out normally.
The three of us joined Minister Artania in the hallway, along with around a dozen guards, and Gildas’s coffin. It was made of dark mahogany, almost black, and white roses and lilies wound, intertwined, around the top. The coffin was open-topped, and I started to tremble uncontrollably as I saw Gildas’s body lying inside. His face was chalk white, his dark hair resting neatly and framing his empty expression. I clutched Riku’s hand tightly. Nearby, Zexion swallowed hard and blew his nose, in a futile attempt to stop the tears running silently down his face.
