Here is the fourth chapter to my Oz x Gil fan fiction, called A Bond of Light.
It seemed so unlikely that Alice could release B-rabbit's power by herself. Didn't Chains have to be bonded by a contract in order to stay in this world? However, Alice wasn't your average Chain, as Break pointed out when we asked him and Sharon about it. Over the next few days, she rarely missed an opportunity to show off her transformation. It became tiresome; we were amazed the first time she showed us, but she would go outside to transform at least twice a day. She would make Oz and me watch her turn into B-rabbit as much as possible (Oscar and Ada had managed to escape this requirement, probably because Alice wasn't very close to them; Break and Sharon were often busy and lived in the Rainsworth house, which was kind of far from Oz's house). I supposed she was both feeling proud of her independence and trying to convince herself that this unlikely ability wasn't just her imagination.
The next few days were relatively uneventful, and those of us at Oz's house developed a lazy routine: wake up in the late morning (around 9:00), eat breakfast, watch Alice release B-rabbit's power (or, in Oscar and Ada's case, hang out and play board games), join Oscar and Ada to either hang out and play board games or go to the market, eat lunch, spend time alone with Oz (although Oscar was obviously spying on us), sometimes go to Sharon's house for tea and to talk about Pandora (although not much had happened there recently), do some outdoor activity that Oscar planned, eat dinner, either discuss the abnormalities of Oz's contract or read books, then go to bed.
Because I was with Oz almost all the time and had been close to him for so long, our relationship progressed rapidly. We gave each other strength and support. Oz's persistence and willingness to try hard were overcoming his old tendency to sacrifice himself. I was inspired by this to try my best to make him happy as I fell more deeply in love with him. One sweltering, humid night a couple of weeks after the day that I had told him that I loved him, I suggested that we take our shirts off to keep cool before getting into bed. Oz looked unsure of this.
"We don't have to. It was only a suggestion," I said quickly, not wanting to hurt him.
"I don't know, Gil. I mean, it isn't like that's very extreme, it's just that our love is increasing so quickly. Maybe we should slow down a little." Despite his words, his eyes wandered up and down my body longingly. Then, we made eye contact, my heart fluttering, all my senses hyper-aware of Oz. His smiling face filled me with a joyfulness so extreme I thought I would explode. Still standing near the bed, I pulled him close to me and looked at his loving expression one more time before kissing him intensely. He gave a small, surprised gasp, then melted into me enthusiastically. My mouth opened slightly and I licked his lips. He responded by wrapping his arms around my neck and opening his mouth. Our tongues touched, our eyes looking deeply into each other's. My body tingled and my heart laughed lightly at the happiest moment of my life so far.
Although I was giddy with delight, I wondered how Oz felt. Using the determination I had learned from him, I forced myself to pull back, watching him. He started undoing the off-center buttons on my shirt. Concern for him caused me to take his eager hands in mine, stopping him. He looked confused.
"Didn't you want to take your shirt off?" he asked.
"You didn't seem enthusiastic about it before," I replied. "What made you change your mind?"
"I've never felt as good in my entire life as I did when you kissed me like that. Gil, I may be only fifteen, but the I need the love you give me, the changes you've brought to me. I believe in you and I could do anything for you. When I'm older and the whole Abyss thing is sorted out... you and I..." He trailed off as we stared into each other's eyes, joyous tears blurring my vision. I drew him close, wishing this moment would last forever.
I said softly, "I need you more than anything, Oz." He lifted his head to see my face, then gently wiped away my tears with his hand, smiling. Then he kissed me passionately. My heart jumped in reaction to this pleasant surprise. He broke away and got into bed, beckoning me, and I came in with him. Snuggling close, he kissed my neck. I started unbuttoning my shirt. Seeing this, he stopped kissing to smile and laugh quietly, and I joined his laughter as my shirt fell to the ground. He took off his own shirt and dropped it on the ground. It must have been very late in the night by then, but I didn't want to stop. We held each other. Calm and contented yet every nerve tingling excitedly, I ran my fingers down his back. He closed his eyes blissfully as I drew him closer.
"Oz, will you always be mine?" I realized later what a ridiculous, sentimental, impossible-to-answer question this was, but at the time it seemed perfectly reasonable.
"Yes. Forever." He sighed, looking at me. "Let's get some sleep now." I held him tightly, closing my eyes and trying to stop thinking about him so I could fall asleep. Images from the day drifted through my head: Oz's face when we woke up that morning, Alice gloating about her ability to release B-rabbit's powers, Oscar and Ada dancing around triumphantly after beating us at bocce ball, and a shirtless Oz with the seal on his chest ticking backwards. The last thing I remember before I fell asleep was a mental image of Oz mouthing the words "I love you".
I woke up gradually to the sound of Oz's voice. "Gil, wake up. It's almost 10:00," he said. I yawned and stretched my arms. Oz looked alert, making me wonder how long he had been watching me sleep.
I said, "If you woke up earlier, you didn't have to wait for me."
"I was enjoying looking at you sleeping too much. Anyway, it's only been half an hour since I woke up." He smiled, eyes shining. "I never wake up before you! I wanted to treasure the experience." He rolled on top of me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I laughed delightedly, feeling lighter than air. That morning was warm and golden, filled with sunlight. Oz looked longingly at me as I pushed him away gently and got out of bed to search for my shirt. But before I found it, Oscar banged the door open dramatically.
"Ha! I caught you! Wipe those smiles off your faces!" (Oz and I, far from smiling, had our mouths opened in astonishment.) "I had suspected for weeks that you were doing something indecent, but I couldn't prove it til now." Oscar must have been looking into the room from the keyhole, which didn't give him a view of the bed, but allowed him to see me shirtless when I got up. He glared at me accusingly. Oz sat up and looked at him defiantly. My heart ached with admiration for Oz's bravery, giving me the strength to stand up to his uncle.
"Oz and I agreed about taking off our shirts," I told him. "We're old enough to do that without your interference." Anyway, boys can take their shirts off in public, so how is it indecent? I thought. Ada, who must have been wondering what was taking us so long to get up as well as being curious about the noise, came in. Her eyes widened when she saw the situation. The way she was staring at me half naked was unnerving, so my eyes searched the room for my shirt. I noticed it on the floor next to the bed, then I picked it up and put it on.
Meanwhile, Oscar said, "If you want to sleep together anymore, you'll have to live somewhere else." I wouldn't mind that too much; we could live at Sharon and Break's house, visiting Oscar and Ada often, but when I finished getting fully dressed I saw that Oz was staring glumly at the floor. This must have reminded him of when his father rejected him. I thought he had gotten over those feelings of worthlessness that day we saw that his father had joined the Baskervilles, but his face was filled with despair and horror. Red hot anger boiled inside me as I felt the need to protect Oz.
"Please stop! You're hurting him! He feels rejected, like he did with his father!" I shouted at Oscar. Tears burned my cheeks and I clenched my hands. Oz turned his head towards me hopefully. I sat on the bed and hugged him loosely. He leaned forward to bury his face in my chest.
After a short silence, Ada said, "It's okay. We wouldn't hurt you. You will always be part of this family, little big brother."
Oz smiled. "Thank you, big little sister. Wait, where's Alice? It just occurred to me that I haven't seen her all day."
"Come to think of it, me neither," Oscar said, frowning. "I wonder where she went. Let's look for her after having something to eat." That sounded like a very good idea; it was almost lunchtime, and I hadn't eaten breakfast. Oz put his shirt back on before we went to the dining room.
After eating, Oz and Ada searched for Alice inside the house while Oscar and I looked for her outside. As we searched, I was surprised how hard it was to focus on finding Alice instead of thinking about Oz. It was the first time in weeks that I had been away from him for more than a few minutes. Oscar looked for Alice for at least half an hour, but I was mainly day dreaming about Oz during that time. I wandered, looking around halfheartedly as I imagined Oz walking towards me. He would smile, his bright green eyes shining with delight, his yellow hair reflecting the sunshine. I forgot that we were looking for Alice. Instead, I thought we were looking for Oz. I was delighted when Oz and Ada came out of the house, looking worn out and disappointed.
"There he is!" I said to Oscar, who looked at me quizzically. I pointed towards the front door. "Ada found Oz." I explained, wondering why this made him laugh.
"You thought we were looking for Oz when we were supposed to be finding Alice?" Oscar said. My face felt hot with embarrassment. I realized that I was too dependent on Oz; I was so used to his presence that I could barely function without him. This thought left when Oz ran towards me eagerly. I wanted to tell him that I had missed him, but this seemed excessive since I had only been away from him for half an hour.
"I missed you," he said, echoing my thoughts. I wrapped my arms around him, flooded with both the relief that he was near me and the desire to feel his body. I felt giddy and my heart fluttered as usual with this close contact. Despite this distraction, I wasn't daydreaming about Oz like I had been when we were apart, so my thoughts were clearer.
"Maybe Alice visited Break and Sharon," I suggested, for lack of a better idea.
Oz said, "Let's look for her at the market first. It's closer." We used a carriage in order to get there quickly. I drove, the clopping of horse hooves drowning out any conversation between Oz and Oscar in the carriage (Ada said that she would rather stay). Soon, we reached the market. I stopped the carriage on the side of a street and tied it the reins to a fencepost. We wandered around, thoroughly examining market and asking people if they had seen a girl with long brown hair and a red coat, especially near meat sellers. We even looked on side streets. After what seemed like hours, we finally found her eating near a meat stand.
"Did you pay for that?" I asked suspiciously.
"None of your business." She continued to gnaw on the meat.
Oz said, "We worried about you. Why did you leave without telling us?"
"Everyone was sleeping in, and I was bored. We've been doing the same old thing every day," she replied. I had loved the relaxing routine, but leave it to Alice to disrupt a normal life. I sighed in exasperation and Oz glanced at me, amused.
Oscar said, "Why don't we buy something for dinner, then go home and play in the yard?" Judging from her discontented face, Alice didn't consider this to be an adventure. It sounded like our everyday routine. I supposed she had been releasing B-rabbit's powers so often because she was bored. I looked at Oz, taking his hand in mine. He smiled at me tenderly; he seemed much more cheerful and confident than he had been when we were going on adventures. Although Alice wanted excitement, I would rather keep Oz happy.
"Don't drag us into this," I told her. "If you want to search for your memory fragments or something, don't make us come along."
"You guys told me that you would still be here for me," she said ferociously. "You lied." She glared, then turned away. Pity and guilt conflicted with my overwhelming desire to protect Oz. Oz also seemed uncertain about what to do. He hugged me, and I hugged back. The feeling of his body touching mine made me ecstatic, my heart racing. I couldn't let go of Oz's body, Oz's compassion, or Oz's love. Everything about him was too wonderful to hurt, but I realized that Alice was feeling rejected, like Oz had been earlier that day.
Oz said passionately, "You just want to feel accepted. I want that too, but what's truly important is that you have some purpose to live for, to validate your existence. That way, you don't need others to accept you in order to keep on living." I gasped. Oz could protect himself, stand up for himself. He had a purpose in life that eliminated his dependency on being accepted. I wondered what had changed him; just this morning he had needed to be accepted by his family. Then, I realized that he was slowly finding this strength in himself. Times when he gave up, discouraged, had become less and less common over the months since he came back from the Abyss. Eventually, he might be determined to keep living for a purpose even in the hardest situations. My heart felt warm because I was glad that he was becoming more capable.
"What is your purpose, Oz?" I asked, having forgotten that Oscar and Alice were with us. He looked lovingly into my eyes, causing my heart to flutter.
He spoke in a gentler tone than before. "Your kindness, bravery, love, and persistence, Gil, are what keep me going. I love you." I had never heard sweeter words in my entire life. I remembered how he had looked at me hopefully after his feelings had been hurt by Oscar; I realized that I had known since then that I was his purpose in life. Unable or unwilling to restrain myself, I kissed him, licking his tongue, exploring his lips with mine. My senses screaming for more, I pressed him into me so I could feel the shape of his body beneath his clothes.
I drew away to whisper, "You mean the world to me. Your strength, determination, empathy, and love give me something to live for." His blissful smile shone like the sun, lighting up my heart.
Suddenly, Oz looked around confusedly. "How did we get here, anyway?" I saw that we were at the market. "What were we doing?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, we came here with Oscar to find Alice, and then you lectured her on having a purpose in life." I smiled at him, thinking of my purpose. Oscar and Alice had their backs to us as they talked loudly about the weather.
"Don't you think it looks like rain, Alice?" Oscar said. He turned his head to look at us pointedly as he continued. "Maybe we should go back to the mansion."
Oz replied sheepishly, "Yes, what a good idea. What do you think, Gil?" I nodded, too embarrassed for words. The carriage ride home was quick, but we had left the market so late that it was time for dinner when we got back. It had been a relatively exciting day, and I was starving. We had soup and bread for dinner, then we went to the living room to play board games. I got sleepy at around 10:00 pm and excused myself to go to bed. The other four kept playing. Alice was her normal, spunky self; Oz's words must have inspired her.
I tried to get to sleep, but I couldn't stop thinking about Oz. After an hour that lasted a year, I gave up and came back in the living room to see him. He looked absolutely delighted when he saw me in the doorway. He told the others that he was going to bed, then came with me to his room. This night was chillier than the one before it, so we left our shirts on as we snuggled close. Able to relax with Oz near me, I soon drifted off to sleep. I had memorable dream that night, in which Oz was caught in a giant net with his father standing over him intimidatingly. Despite discouraging threats from his father, Oz refused to stop trying to escape from the net because he had someone to live for: me.
