Is it sad I get pleasure out of people's misery and pain?

KAINXAIDOU IS MY FAV VAMPIRE KNIGHT PAIRING~

xx.
Nothing I say comes out right
I can't love without a fight
No-one ever knows my name
When I pray for sun, it rains
I'm so sick of wasting time
But nothings moving in my mind
Inspiration can't be found
I get up and fall but...

I'm alive!
I'm alive!
Between the good and bad's where you'll find me
Reaching for heaven
I will fight
And I sleep when I die
I live, My life, I'm alive!
.xx

This is basically a diary. I have to write in it everyday, or it'll defeat the purpose. I mean, I just want to be able to express me feelings, and I guess this is the simplest way. Plus, you guys get to read about me and my day.

So, let's start with the information, I guess. I'll start with the basics and work my way up.

My name is really Savannah, though I would like to be called Savage.
I'm gonna break this up for you. I have 3 different 'people' that I am. Here's a little info about them all before you meet ME.

Shane: He's a player who talks like Beat (he talks all skater) and loves to have a good time. He's bisexual, but likes girls more. He has a girlfriend. (Destiny)
Savage: His real name is Demitri, and he's emo. He's also gay. But even though he's emo, he CAN and WILL smile. But little ones. But he smiles a lot.
Uke: I dunno his name, so I call him uke. He is my Clueless Uke side, and he doesn't have a sexuality. Though he seems gay. He likes cute things and loves wearing bows.

Okay. now about me.
Let's get something clear. I AM A POKEMON TARD. DEAL WITH IT.
I love anime, obviously. It's the best thing in the world to me. Diss it around me, and you'll SERIOUSLY be sorry. Especially if I know you. I WILL ignore you. You don't do that around me. Because I get pissed at the stupidest shit. Anyways, my favorite animes are Naruto/Naruto Shippuden, Axis Powers Hetalia, 07 Ghost, Junjou Romantica, Vampire Knight, Ouran High School Host Club, Death Note, KuroShitsuji, Soul Eater, Gravitation, Karin, Bleach, Code Geass, and I'm sure there's more.
My favorite colors are red, black, blue, and neon green.
I listen to almost ALL music, so I'm fine with just about anything. But my favorite kinds of music are Alternative, Rock, and Pop. The bands I'm currently addicted to at the moment are The Beatles, Breaking Benjamin, Blood On the Dance Floor, Skillet, and Three Days Grace.
My favorite non-anime shows are: Glee, Whose Line is it Anyway, Freakazoid, Third Rock From the Sun, Scrubs, Meerkat Manor, Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, Dora the Explorer, SpongeBob, Teen Titans, Ed Edd n Eddy, Family Guy, and hell, I watch a lot of TV. There's a shit-ton more.
My favorite movies are all The Lion Kings, RENT, Fear, Lilo & Stitch, The Emperor's New Groove, Finding Nemo, Titanic, The Hot Chick, The Animal, Mean Girls, White Chicks, Step Brothers, The Hangover, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Little Mermaid, Across the Universe, Open Season, all three Toy Stories, The Parent Trap, Peter Pan, The Phantom of the Opera, and more.
I am a very emotional person. I can laugh, cry, or get mad at the stupidest of things. Therefore, I'm very bipolar. One minute, you'll see me all cheery and won't shut up, the next I'm just an emo little fucker that's quiet. So be careful about me. I'm trying to work on staying positive all the time, but it keeps failing... I'm always dependent. Like, super dependent. But towards my mom, I'm like "GTFO of my face". Yeahh. So..
Another thing. I. Love. Yaoi. There. I said it. Yeah. I do. Fuck you if you're against it. What, two dudes can't love each other? Uh huh. Go crawl back under that rock you call a home and get a life.
I have an obsession with cute things. They really bring out the best in me, and inspire me to act cute. I love people to say that I'm cute. It makes my day.
I. Hate. Posers. Like one of my ex-friends. Posers are just fake people who just like things because EVERYONE else does. Well, she's the least of my worries now. If I ever talk about her, I'll refer to her as JBitch. Okay?
Anyways. I love playing video games. My favorites are The World Ends with You (Twewy), Kingdom Hearts II, Pokemon, Super Smash Bros Brawl, Zelda: Twilight Princess, and Shadow the Hedgehog.
Okay. I'll admit it. I am a hypocrite. And I'm a hater. I'm try to work on that.
But my main objective in life is to make people smile or laugh. If I don't do that, I feel like I did something wrong. If you aren't smiling or laughing with me, I'll have to ask if you're okay.
If you are going to read this, be careful. I will bitch. A lot. That's just me. Got a problem? GTFO.

Here are my favorite pairings--
FrUK. Spamano. GerTaly. TurkEece. Ameripan. SuFin. RusLat. Germcest. LietPol. Palletshipping/Foeshipping/GaryxAsh. PreciousMetalshipping/Huntershipping/GoldxSilver. Ignitionshipping/VolknerxFlint. SaiNaru.

I think that's enough information about me. So.. yeah.

Another thing I made up on the spot.

I don't know what brought this on. This isn't directed at one person in particular. It's actually directed to a lot of people.

--

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you lie to me about the stupidest things, for the stupidest reasons.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you say you still love me, because it reminds me of how much of a terrible person I am for making you believe I loved you back.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you don't pay attention to me, even if I'm feeling sad at that moment.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you tell me how much fun you had with another person, and I wasn't there, because I am a very jealous person.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you tell you you love me, because I honestly wonder if I love you back sometimes.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... I see you with her ALL the time, when we haven't hung out in forever.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you cry, because it makes me think it's my fault.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you tell me you love me more, because I know you don't. You have so many other friends.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... you don't try to keep our conversation alive, because that tells me you don't want to talk to me in the first place.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... I'm crying my eyes out, and all you do is sing, instead of asking me what's wrong.

You don't know how much you hurt me when.... I have to say hey or hi or call you, or you'll never talk to me. This tells me you didn't want to talk to me in the first place.

Everyone's been kidnapped before..

Haha yeah, Bailey and Krystal kidnapped me again. Except we couldn't hang out in Bailey's basement like we normally do because her brothers are back and like, live down there. D8 But we hung out in Bailey's room and I FINALLY got to start on my Gold version. Ohh yeah, and I'm Romano (South Italy) in Bailey's Hetalia group!!! Yay, I actually get to be someone cool, instead of Canada. I mean, Canada's OKAY, but he's one of those character's I could care less about. Like Iceland or Denmark or something. :| I think it's because Carolina over loaded me with him. So yay, I'm Romano! KONOYAROOO!!! XDD

Which reminds me. Me and my friend, Clatre, are going to sing The Delicious Tomato Song. c: Yay.

Hnnnnnng I think I'm going to go and practice my drawing-on-the-computer skills and play around on GIMP. I guess I'll draw me, Clatre, and some Palletshipping. <3 Oh and PreciousMetalshipping (GoldxSilver).

Here's some PMS (lol)

I'm very very very forgetful. Dx

July 5 (6th, technically?), 2010

Dear Diary

FUCK THIS SHIT ABOVE. I DON'T WANNA DO IT EVER AGAIN. D8

ANYWAYS.

I'm very forgetful and I've been hanging out with friends, so that's why I haven't been posting on this fucker.

Well I got to thankfully go to the fair on the last day it was here, but UNFORTUNATELY JBitch had to be there too. I was pissed. But Wes got my mind off of it. But I went with Krystal, Bailey, and Carolina. I rode on everything-except-the-squirrel-cages, like I always do. I had so much fucking fun that day it's not even funny. We left at like 6 and went home at 10:30PM. Fuck yeahhhhh.

Then I had a me day, then last night I spent the night at Krystal's and laughed my ass off most of the time. XDD

Soooo um. I was reading cheriblosomchibi's world posts, and that made me think about my relationship. How I'm longing for a guy so bad, but all the good looking guys would NEVER be into me. But I do love Destiny. I just wish she was a guy and wasn't almost exactly like me. Except I think she's better at everything. :| Good God, I'm SUCH an egoist. I should start calling myself Hiro-san/Hiroki lololololol Junjo reference.

Ummm other news... Oh yeah. I'm going to be singing some Hetalia songs, then putting that voice to the instrumental versions of the songs. c: The first one I'll work on is Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman, and it's for a friend. Bonzaiiiii.

FUCK I'm tired. It's like what.. 3AM. Shiiiiit. Well I guess I'll talk to Krystal until she leaves ( that is, if she ever replies. Right now she's getting distracted by playing Pokemon. >_> )

Dammit. I really HATE when Destiny gets my spirits up. Every once in a while, she'll should pretty serious about doing some actual cosplay with me (you know, with wigs and shit) and I'll be "Yaaaaaay can't wait" and it NEVER happens. That bitch better be serious about this time. I'm getting pissed. She's been doing this to me for like.. 6 months. QUIT IT AND LET'S JUST FUCKING GET SOME FUCKING WIGS ALREADY. MY GOD.

At the moment, I want to cosplay Hetalia characters. And Destiny's like "Uhhhhhh I don't wanna" and I'm thinking in my head "Bitch, I didn't fucking say YOU. I said ME. So fuck you, I do what I want." But seriously. Help me decide which Hetalia character to do!! I will cosplay anybody. Maybe. Except Germany. Dx Not one Germany cosplayer so far looks good.

Oh oh. I also really want to cosplay Gary/Ash, but me being Ash. I doubt Destiny would be Gary though. But I'm fine with me being just Ash. c:

Hnnnnng I just looked at twinfools cosplay and that makes me want to cosplay more and more!! I honestly don't know who will be my first. SUGGESTIONS HELP, MAN. SERIOUSLY. If you're reading this, you better comment with a suggestion. Or I'll cry. So... yeah. Go go go!

Heyyy what should my cosplay account name be? twinfools has one, Nova has one, hell, ALL of FDP do!! So, what should mine be?? c: SUGGESSSSSTT.

Here's some of my favorite Pokemon couple to fit my mood. = w =~

~The tired and ONCE AGAIN cosplay craving, Vani.

Did you miss me? owo

July 31, 2010
Mood: In a world where there's only happiness! 8D

Dear Diary,

YAY! I'M BACK FROM MY STUPID COLORADO TRIP!!!

I really didn't like it there. No internet, no friends, and the only music I could get was a little bit from TV!! URGH! Well it gave me time to finish The World Ends with You, read the entire Junjou Romantica series, get farther on Diamond, and have LOADS of me time.

Well I got home five days earlier due to my mom and grandma getting sick! Whee!!

Tonight, I was GOING to spend it with two of my best friends, Bailey and Krystal, but my mom was being a TOTAL drama bitch and saying "NO NO NO FUCK I WILL SLAP YOU SHUT UP" and I had a breakdown and cried throughout most of my argument, which lasted about twenty minutes. But Krystal and I devised a plan. They're just going to call me when they get up tomorrow!! And we'll hang out then! And they don't wake up that late, either!! Woo! So I went back on the computer and started thinking positive, and now I'm listening to my theme song, Pocketful Of Sunshine by Natasha Beddingfield, on repeat. 8D That explains my mood!

Haha when I was on the trip, I drew and drew and drew and the last couple of pictures I kinda copied Rebecca's style (sorry!!) and drew Naruto and Sai. <3 I love that couple. SAINARU FTW!

So tell me, did you miss me? owo

This video is where I first heard the song, why it's my theme song, and why Shuichi is my mood icon this time! And my bestie Bailey made it! c:

~ ~ Drying herhis tears and being very very positive, Neku Shuichi! <3

But... I don't want to leave!! ;A;

July 25, 2010
Mood: Tired/Missing People

Dear Diary,

Yes, I am in fact, leaving tomorrow. I'm going to my grandpa's for ten days. And no, he doesn't have internet. ;-; Man, I'm going to miss all my friends!! I think I'll miss Bailey and Krystal the most!! Bailey let me borrow her Junjo Romantica mangas 5-11, the first two volumes of Hey, Class President!, and Rainbow High and Rainbow Road. At least I have something to do now. XD I'm also going to work on my Pokemon games, so there's something ELSE to do! And I can draw! Yay! But sadly, I can't get my Zune to work. And I wouldn't be able to charge it, anyways. And Casey STILL has my fucking mp3 player, and it's been like MONTHS. WHATTHEFUCK. URGH. I guess maybe I do need to get away from the computer for a while.

Ugh I'm so tired. I barely got any sleep at Bailey's last night. I barely sleep over there. 8D;

So just giving you guys a heads up! I'll miss you!

~ ~ The tired, nervous-ish, newly found Sealand fangirlboy, Ruby.