Madonna's attempted adoption of Malawian toddler Mercy James is an excellent test of your Native Cynicism Index. Those from the sunnier reaches of the bell curve see a wealthy Westerner reaching out to an African child in need, a middle third may sense the specter of colonialism or the complicated moral issues of using vast wealth and celebrity powers to circumvent a poor country's laws in service of good intensions, while a final group know in their shriveled hearts that the singer will scoop the child into an Ed Hardy sack, then force her to retrieve a giant diamond from a swamp cavern in the heart of Devil's Bayou or never see her teddy bear again.

(I did not write this)