It’s something they had never seen
Something I never wanted them to see
I hide it so well behind my mask
But he found it and made me remember
I let him in, behind that mask
Constructed so carefully to keep you all out
He saw me for who I am--
Knows the evil me, knows my hate
He knows what others would never even guess
Somehow along the line he got in and saw me for what I am
But he didn’t run, he stayed by my side as if I was never a lie
He knows me to well--
He knows the story for each scar I inflicted on myself
He knows how close I was to never coming back
Truly I love him more than myself
He made me remember what I had ignored
He uncovered my heart--
Somehow this person I took as no threat to my mask has unarmed me of all my protections
He made me, me again
Even without him I’m still me- not whole but close enough
This is me now, my heart that I had ignored is on my sleeve now
Even without him I’m still breathing- as painful as it might be
This is me now, breathing in and out and taking it all in stride
Even without him I’m living still- going day by day
This is me now, living my life the best I can
He made me this, made me the person I never want to grow into
They can all see my heart now, because this is the person I am
I’m facing my life and my fears, becoming something new each day
And even with the pain and emptiness of not having him I’m growing and learning each day. Becoming the person he saw hiding behind that mask. Now they all know I’m not just one big smile, I’m not always the up beat one… I’m human after all