So, this is interesting. I just made a nice WORLD which is acting as my new blog for the moment but its been so long since I've use myO I fiured I'll just start over again with this. Who knows, maybe I'll get some people to actually look at this one.
So yeah, I'm still fairly tired at the moment. I didn't get to bed until about 2:00 AM EST this morning and currently it is 7:58 AM EST. Not even 6 hours of sleep. I have to take care of some stuff this morning though so thats one bonus. One of which was making one of these and also I was planning on going into myO and posting so now it became posting in this. I kind of wanted to give everyone a background on where I've been for the last while, if anyone cares.
I, being the person who I was, got very big into a lot of drugs very quickly. I was using heroin daily and if I could find something else to give me a nice pick me up every once in a while, hey, lets get it and get it in. I became somebody that no one ever expected: a junkie. Finally, my parents (who I currently live with), gave me an ultimatum: they kicked me out and told me when you are ready to go into inpatient rehab, call us, until then stay out and don't come back. A couple weeks went by, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was a wreck physically and emotionally, had no money, no place to sleep at night; I was a bum.
One thing led to another and I ended up back in with my parents. I was still using in their house because I had some time before I went into the rehab program so I felt like things were okay with my parents and I was still using. I was pretty much getting what I wanted all along: to use in my house.
Finally, the day came for me to go into the rehab program. I remember my Dad talking to me on the way there and I wouldn't listen to anything he said. I was so pissed and upset at my parents for "what they were doing to me." My Dad tried to convince me that this was best for me and that they were just doing what the could for me. I obviously still wasn't buying into it. I was admitted, and I sat there and watched my Dad walk out those doors without me. It was a very intense feeling of sadness, anger, depression, abandonment, and so many others I couldn't even describe.
Looking back on those events now, I couldn't be more happy that I had to go through that experience. I am and clean and sober now, and if it hadn't of been for my parents that were "putting me through hell," I would have never have made it as far as I did. I attend AA Meetings and continued treatment through outpatient. I have a sponsor and a homegroup in AA and I have become more spiritual thanks to AA.
I would never curse the disease of alcoholism or addiction on anyone. My worst enemy, who I would kill or inflict with extreme amounts of pain, I would not wish this illness on him. It's very difficult too live through what I have lived through and what people are still living through. I have a new respect for people who are clean and sober and value not drinking and drugging one day at a time; thats a fucking miracle in my book.
So yeah, thats what was going on in my life. Just wanted to catch up and fill all theO in.
