Mood: Pissed Off/Tired/Wants To Rip Someone's Head Off/Frig The Freakin' World
Currently Listening To: I have no clue... and personally, I don't care... okay, I do care, I hate this song -_-;.
What triggered this feeling, I don't know, but I don't like it. I've been pretty much pissed off all week... for reasons of my own and reasons for others. It's a definite, I'm entirely Anti-Love. I can't stand it anymore. I'm getting absolutely SICK of it... I rather die alone than to fall into one of those love traps that they very well make everywhere. I just want to rip out someones heart, put it on a stake, and then start yelling curse words into the air for no reason at all... or maybe make a big speal about it.
The reason, the people around me.... and not around me.
Some people can be so freakin' dense at times... going through things so fast that they don't even know what the future will hold for them in the future. It's like, wtf, you guys barely see one another or barely talked to one another and then were only dating for a few months or just been talking over the internet for a few days... and you already know you want to marry this person out of the course of those days without barely even getting to know them at all or for them to get to you know you? Yeah the fuck right. Like those are going to last very long... ~rolls eyes~.
Love at first sight is a bunch of bull. Sure, you may love them, but do they know that you love them? I think not, unless you go and make yourself noticeable for it or something, psh, yeah right. They might not even love you back in return... when they don't MOVE ON WITH YOUR PATHETIC LIFE ALREADY. Don't stay and sulk about it... that's just stupid. Move on and keep on going without letting go... if you let go, then you'll be down. How far down, it all depends on how much you make yourself fall. The only person who can pull you back up is yourself. It's not like your friends will help you out of the rut at times when you don't even know the problem that you're rightfully having. In the end, the only person that can take care of you, is yourself. No one else will be there... sometimes the significant other won't even be there to help you out of it, if you're even lucky enough to have one.
That's not even the whole thing that's pissing me off either... school's pissing me off more and more now. I'm getting sick of it and the pressures coming to not be failing any classes. I know I'm going to most likely fail math, I'm not doing any of the homework right now for it because I don't get word problems worth shit. It's all about writing inequalities and crap like that, yeah, I'm not going to get far with those. I can only do the normal ones... not the word ones. So, I have a high chance of failing math this year... and I've been doing so good throughout the year too...
Then, there's stupid Graphic Arts class. I can't do that class either. I can't keep on schedule and half of the time, I don't even want to draw anymore. I'm not passing in the homework because I can't do that homework either... my imagination is limited. I can't just come up with something like that for a class... I mean, if any of you people saw what I thought up for a stupid school handbook cover thing, yeah, it wasn't even acknowledged. But, I didn't want it to be acknowledged, so, that kind of made me happy. Surprising... whatever.
English, I'm really close to failing because of the stupid mid-term we had to take. I can't study, period. Nothing will stick in my head... nothing. Once I get the stupid thing, they'll all go away into flutters and be like, "We hate you, we want you to fail, bye now!" The Lord Of The Flies movie sucked! THEY WEREN'T FROM COLORADO, THEIR FROM BRITAIN! BRITAIN! DAMN THEM! The colored version sucked ass, but the black and white version kicked ass. That was actually following the book instead of making up their own storyline and plot length... the colored version was just stupid.
I think Civics is the only thing I'm passing pretty much, but with that test we didn't take too long ago, I highly doubt I'm passing anymore.
Man, I suck.
Right now, I just want to go crawl into a hole and die there... by myself... with no one around. Like an animal does when it's about to die. I don't see the point in living anymore... when I thought I did for so long. It's happening again... and I don't want it too, but it won't stop. The emptiness of it all. It's engulfing; overwhelming.
I just want to get away... get away from everything... but, I don't know where. Just, somewhere... somewhere far away where no one will be able to find me...
Just wish a place like that existed...
