That's what I told her before this whole mess started. And it still stands.
I've never dated anyone, no one saw interest in a near-adult that looks like a ten-year-old and is only 5'1''. No one ever took me seriously. Everyone needs to protect the poor little baby but no one wanted to date her. I suppose it'd be like dating your little sister huh? Well I got news for you--I'm older than most of you and I need someone like everyone else does!
So screw her. SCREW THEM. I don't need or want anyone. If no one is going to treat me like an equal adult and not a helpless child then I don't need any of them! I'll wait until I look my age I guess which will probably never happen, and by then you'll all be gone and I'll be meeting other people who hopefully don't treat me like I don't need someone like the rest of you!
I'm so sick of the people I have crushes on over-looking me. As much as I despise high school couples I can't go to dances cause I hate pretending it doesn't tear me up. A boy a few years back seemed like the perfect candidate to my best friend and she asked him to dance with me. He told her yes, and I was so shy back then, But he WALKED OUT everytime a slow song came on. I told her it was no big deal, even though she was furious.
I still haven't told her how much it eats me up. Everytime I see people kiss I want to cry. I look in the mirror and remind myself that I'm confident and I'm pretty. I repeat it over and over again and yet no one seems to care.
I might sound like a whining baby, but it says something when your best friend on earth has neevr dated either. Not because she has the same problems I do, but because she's so FRIGGN' BLEACH BLONDE TALL AND PERFECT she sets the bar really high. And do the people who love her and worship her look at me?
Never. They never do. They ask me her name, and things about her. All I want it to slap them and cry. PLEASE! LOOK AT ME FOR ONCE!
So I told myself I didn't need anyone. And that's been getting me by just FRICCKN FINE. The only person who ever showed interest in me was a GIRL and a STUCK UP GUY WITH ANGER ISSUES. I feel so over-looked, like everyone likes to look, but no one wants to buy.
I'm so sorry guys. I've been crying for a while now, and I really needed to write it down. And I'm not talking to any of you by any means. I just... I know people say it's better not to date, just live your life and think about it when your older, because love hurts. But to me, even a "hey you're beautiful." instead of a "Aww you're so sweet and cute!" would make a world of difference. I appreciate the comment, but being beautiful means so much more to me right now, cute has got me nowhere but placed in my friends proective arms that say "You're too fragile to do this." or "You're so cute, I wouldn't want anyone to hurt you. It's better you not date!" or "Thw world is a scary place, I don't know if you'll make it quite yet, so I'm going to help you!"
I am not a child. I do not need to be looked after because I'm fragile and broken and small. I want what everyone else has, just for once.
But if no one wants me, then fine. I've gotten by just fine without a boyfriend for the past 18 years. I can do it again and again.
