killmepleasealready
Hi, I'm Caitlin.
I'm seventeen and I live in New Hampshire, USA.
I pretty much hate majority of my life, but whatever.
I don't give a shit if you think how I am is bullshit, what you think doesn't matter.
I'm so fucking sick of fake ass people.
But whatever, life is life, I can deal.
Have a nice day everyone.
Anyone have myspace and/or AIM that'd like to get to know me or add me go ahead just tell me where you're from please.
MySpace - http://myspace.com/xxocaitlinx
AIM - xxoCaitlinXx

Just because I smile, doesn't mean I'm happy

pleasedon'thurtmeiwasonlytellingyouthetruthisn'tthatwhatyouwanted?

Hi.

I just really like how I wrote my name. =]

Er yea.

You know what, I think maybe I might a bit, a tad be.

Only a little.
Tiny smidge.
Tiny tinytiny smidge!

Hahaha!
You all haven't a clue what i mean.
Only me.
And maybe someone else if they've figured it out by now >_<

I think I confused them though..
They I doubt will read this.

Anyways,.
It's 11:06.
I'm bored.
Dayday... and Brittany lefteded me.
I go cuddle with meh puppies now!
I need a light, I wanna read my book,
Go Ask Alice.
It's pretty good so far.
I havent read alot though, eh.
I'm on page 39/212
I'm so pathetic.
i fell asleep reading it the first time.
And couldn't any other time.
So i didn't get to read much.
I wanna now!

OOh today I got that FUZE drinks.
Orange Mango.
It's good!
And Anna got me a cookie, cuz I gave her 2 bucks for her to get lunch the other day.
And I french braided her hair twice.

I got a stomach ache, and hafta pissss.
Bathroom, bed.

OOH RAINBOW REFLECTION!
Sun reflecting on my hand off my mirror.

Piss time!

AHH

Holy shit.
Holyshitholyshitholyshit.
Are you fucking kidding me?!

I get bitched at for doing something and then someone else does it and it's all fucking fine and peachy.

GO DIE YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!!!
Not seriously... but still.

That just pisses me off.

My calves hurt like, reallllly bad this morning.
If I even moved them, they fucking hurt so bad i winced in pain.
So I refused to get up.
Especially since my douchebag, I mean father, pushed me off my bed and it made them hurt more.

So he disconnected the cable today, so no tv nor interweb.

I was so bored...
My mom was bitching at me later in the day.
And got pissed I didn't wanna text her anymore.

I painted my nails blue, but they're ruined.
I tried painting my room.
Also got bitched at for that.
"YOU DIDN"T HAVE MY FUCKING PERMISSION!!!"
Not like theyre gonna do it anytime soon.
And I was bored.
And couldn't go anywhere.
And I needed somethign before I like, slit my own throat.
So I was paitning.
Then I made brownies, and strawberry cake.
And attempted buttercream icing.
but I screwed it up.

I made myself eggs for dinner.
Cause hotdogs suck.

uhhh, yea.
Here I am.

Holy shit, fuckface IMed me.
Aka, James the douchebag!

We used to be like, the best of friends.
And then I swear Brittany said she hated him.
But she says otherwise.
Then, when Brittany and I were like in a massive arguement they all the sudden came all buddy buddy.

Suspisioussssss.

psh, I swear the "friendship between us doesn't even fucking matter to her.
Whatever/
I need to go die =]

My dad yelled at me saying i had to go to a counselor this morning.
My mom said it this afternoon.
Said my dads uncles daughter is one.
And I said Screw that, if I were to go to one I wouldn't wanna go to family.
No one in my fucking family can keep their mouth shut.

Thats why i tell no one in it anything.
My aunt fucking flipped out because I had "CONCERNING STUFF!!" as she put for the subject in the email of it to my mom.

Just cause I mentioned I still think I'm clinically depressed since 8th grade.

I could have said a lot wrose things i've done.
Wonder how she'd react to that.

James is stupid.
he only IMed me to ask if Talias been on.
Stupid dumbfuck james.

Yea.

Yea, I need to like.
Get away from here.

I need to get away from anyone I know.
I should like, go in the witness protection program.
Get my body altered so I'm not so hideous.
And get away from everyone I know..
I just want my dogs.
Start out new.
Get like, all drugged up to make me normal.
Cause everyone knows I need to be on something at least majoirty of the time.
I'm so fucking screwed up.
So I'll be more like, able to actual get friends.
Instead of the no friends I have.

Seriously I'm just like, so tired of some people.
And sick of things.

Yea, people were being buttmunches today, well yesterday.

Someone was being such an asshole when I attempted helping them.
And I just got livid when my dad started yelling at me towards the end and bitched at them.

Then i got bitched at for joking around.
And basically told to leave someone alone.
So I trie dto.
I don't want to ruin any happiness there actually is because it's a change of them being depressed all the time.
So yea, I'd rather them be happy then me ruining shit for them.
Dont know how thats gonna turn out...

The person IMed me when I was at Target and seemed all pissy I wasn't repling but i wasn't home and it even said I was at Target in my damn away message.
Even if they messaged my other screen name then the one with it, they have both and love to alternate which is sort of annoying.

But yea...... I wstayed home too.
So my dad was all douchebaggy cause of that.
Kept yelling alllll the tiem he was home about.
It was aggravating.
Uhhhm
Yea.
Mainly bad day.
But when I got in anactual good mood after listening to Fak by Eminem hahaha >_<
It went downhill, over a joke and saying crackwhore.

Ugghhh.
Hah, I was kinda a smartass went I got bitched at about that.
But people who don't know me and try telling me to do things, pisses me off.
i don't like anyone telling me what to do... unless i ask or somethign.

Anyways...
I need to go to bed.
I'm just.
Pissed off.
Oh yea P2 is a pretty good movie.
But I kinda hate the ending, and the biggings kinda boring... but otherwise its alright.

Ummm...

You know what.
I think I need to go to a therapist or something.
How I am and what I do and all that.
There just like, has to be something wrong with me.
It's not normal...
It's fucking my life up more than it is.
And, I don't like it.
I just... wanna know what is wrong with me.
There has to be something making me this way.

I just, don't like telling people things.
Makes me uneasy, and uncomfortable and such.
And I haven't wanted to go to a therpist or whatever.
Just because of the fear of like, them telling anyone anything.
And like... if they told my parents stuff.
I know they can't keep their mouths shut.
At least my mom..
So... yea.
=[

I need help.. hah.