killmepleasealready
Hi, I'm Caitlin.
I'm seventeen and I live in New Hampshire, USA.
I pretty much hate majority of my life, but whatever.
I don't give a shit if you think how I am is bullshit, what you think doesn't matter.
I'm so fucking sick of fake ass people.
But whatever, life is life, I can deal.
Have a nice day everyone.
Anyone have myspace and/or AIM that'd like to get to know me or add me go ahead just tell me where you're from please.
MySpace - http://myspace.com/xxocaitlinx
AIM - xxoCaitlinXx

Just because I smile, doesn't mean I'm happy

pleasedon'thurtmeiwasonlytellingyouthetruthisn'tthatwhatyouwanted?

*yawnnn*

I'm tired.
I just seperated all my laundry out.
Stuff I don't wear because whatever reason.
Whites and things needing bleaching.
Darks.
Other colors.
And blankets.

Brought it all downstairs. Half to the basement.
Put my whites in, wasn't any bleach though.
But hopefully it'll clean well.
Uhmmmm............
I didn't wanna bring the stuff in garbage bags down.
Because i didn't want my dad to be a dickhead if I accidentally woke him up.
He and everyone else is so pissy lately.
It's so annoying.

Uh,...
I tried patching holes in my walls.
I'm not good at puddying or whatever it is though.
Oh well.
It's better than it looked when there was holes.
It's been a year and a half since my dad started painting it.
My mom won't let me by myself.
And yea...
I want to finish it already!!!
It's so not fair........
Everyone else got to get their room finished.
I didn't.
Not nicely.
My dad took time and neatly did Krissy's floor, and Ben's and Jonathans.
Mine looks like shit.
And there's gaps and shit.
It's awful.
And he did a shitty paint job.
And a shitty job patching up the walls.
Ben didn't want his room painted.
But my mom put this dark earthy colored textured spray paint on the far wall.
Jonathan got his exactly how he wanted.
Krissy got her perfect little princess room.
Crown molding, sparkles, those stick on pictures.

Whatever, my parents don't give a shit.
Yell at me if i ever ask.
And they say I'm selfish...
I like never ask for anything.
And I just keep to myself.
With my dogs up here.
and the internet.
They want to take away anything and everything that keeps me sane basically.
I don't ask for much... and i get shit i don't want all the time.
It's stupid.
Oh well...
No use complaining.
I'm just sick of it.
Sorry >_<

Anyways...
I went to the movies with brittany last night.
Nate came too.
He reminds me of this kid Dan that sits behind me in english, and i think he's in my world history class too.
Except more silly randomness than Dan.
Uhhh,,,
He kindaaa looks like him too.
Oh and when he was acting gay he reminded me of this friend my brother had that was gay named Eric.
It was kinda funny.
and I guess it was fun.
Uhhhm
Saw Shutter.
I thought it was okay/pretty good.
It had its good and bad parts.
I kept laughing, and i kept seeing brittany put her hands to her face and called her a chicken..
Hah...
I was sitting in front of them but one kicked my chair so i moved in the row and Brittany had me sit next to her.
Then she kept kicking my leg so i moved over one.
They talked like the whole time it seemed.
Oh well.
Then we hung around outside in the lobby area thing at the table.
and he kept going outside and I told her to go with him at least one or twice.. haha. Idk if she went on her own dont remember.
Then I went out the other exit and they thought I was spying but I wasn't.
And then I bugged them because i was bored.
He was saying stuff like third wheel and tri and i mentioned tricycle I think.
I don't think he wanted me to go.. he would've rathered it just them
Britt said he asked her out to the movies..
And idk..
We had plans for going to the mall
And he was gonna come too.
But then it go changed last night to going to the movies.
And She said she was gonna go to the movies and the mall.
I kinda predicted we wouldn't have gone to the mall because of the time of the movie being almost 7.
And yea we didn't.
Uhhh....
yea.
Hah, her mom got there and Idk if he already was asking or whatever but i like yelled just ask her already or something. and he did... and she looked like she was nervous and leaning away and said okay..
something like that.
Wasn't paying a whole lot of attention.
Oh and he tried paying me a dollar to go away.
hahahaaa..
And he was saying something and was like You wanna go? and started coming near me and like did some penguin walk thing and I just felt like hitting him because he was too close.
I have this thing with people being near me, especially if i don't know them.
i rather dislike it.... A LOT.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yea, hah.
I dunno why... but i restrained from it at least.. hahah.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Went home.
Mom got home and on came the bitching!

I gotta wash all my laundry today.
Or elseeee.
Hah.... If I do I can go to the hockey game.
She has extra tickets for the boardroom.
Which is fucking greatttttt.
Awesome seats in the boardroom at td banknorth plaza or whatever.
Awesomeeeewjngrjk
Though right next to the glass it good.
And up in the nosebleeds is even good, you can see the whole rink.
so yea.

I should go check on my laundry see if the first loads done yet.
And switch it out and all that junk.

Blahhhhhhhhhh.
GOOD NIGHT!

Boom Shaka Laka.

BOOM!

Jules is crying, poor pup.
We made meatballs in foods.
For meatball subs er, today.
The green peppers is the only flaw.
For the one I had though...

My fingers are lime green.
Toes pitch black.
WOO!
Nail polish for people wondering...

Shit they're screwing up.
Oh nooooooo.
I think I may redo them........
FUCKTARD NAILS!

Shower time.
The nail redoing?
Hmm.
Maybe not.
i wiped it off and put a single coat of green on.
Perhaps it'll work,
Then i'll do another coat.
It looks funky.
Who knows.

THURSDAY!
Dance class....
Closer to Friday.
THE WEEKEND!
I think my aunts baby shower is on Saturday.
It'll be the 4th right?
or 5th...
Someeething like that.
I think fifth.
Handy dandy, CELLULAR DEVICE!
5th is Saturday.
I think that's my aunt, once removed and still currently removed but moreso my aunt then her ex husband, my dads douchebag of a brother, aka "my uncle" more family than he is.
he's creepy too...
Idk, he just creeps me out and it's uneasy being near him.

Lalalalalaaaa......

SHOWER TIME@!
Oh yea, did more cleaning.
And finally, yesterday.[Well Monday, cause it'll list this as Wednesday.]
Got uh, cursedness.
Hahahhaaha.
It was like a week behind sheduale.
I thought it'd miss it.
But no, darn.
Brittany has early release today.
LUCKYYYYYYYY

OH SHIT!. Tuesday not Monday and Thursday not Wednesday.
WOW day confused.
NAILS ALL BETTAHHH!

Anywho, SHOWER.
Now.
BYE!

Hah, gee, that Caitlin. What a fucking procrastinator.

FUCKING TITLES

It's raining outside...
YAY!

My head kills.
I may have inhaled too much of the Sharpies when I was coloring..
I drew a picture of how I want a tattoo,
Kindaaa.
But I wish the colors matchd better.
and it looks better.
And I drew it a lot bigger than I would want a tattoo.
Idk where I'd want it.
I was thinking on my wrist.
The inner side of my wrist.

I didn't go to school today.
My 7th day..
My 504 will cover that though.
Headachesss.

I have one now... WOO.. -_-

Uhm, Yea.
I had one this morning and i got up, but i fell back to sleep standing laughing waist up on it.
Then woke up crawled rest on and fell back asleep.
then my dad went to ake me up, I did then fell back asleep. My nose was stuffy and I had a headahe like sprouting form there.
So i slept til noon and yea.
I ate cereal for the first time in a longgg time.

Supposed to go to the mall Friday with Brittany.
Nate may come, and his friend Casey.
Dunno bout that yet.

I gotta go to school everyday.
Not like I won't... not like I wanna, but I will.
I'm not one to miss multiple days at a time really...

Uhhhhhhhh
I gotta go clean off my bed and shower and shit like that.
10:50 >_<
Ahhhhhhhh my head.
Bye!

Screw it...

So...

Boring day like usual.
It was 2/3 dogs birthday today.
Maple and candy are now 2!

I got to school at the end of ROTC class.
Just in time to copy the first pages answers off the board and put away all my stuff before the ball rang.

Texted a tad during Biology.
Substitute, again.Seems like Mr. Sweaty Pits Morris is never there.
Did like none of my work.
Though I did some.
Lauren was talkative and distracting.
I hate her sometimes she can be so damn annoying.

On to lunch, boring.
Everyone at my table is super bitch in each owns special way now.
My cream soda fizzed on the table.
Melissa yelled at me because I asked if she could get napkins when she was up getting her lunch.
Everyone kept asking if it was beer. -_-
Sometimes I wish it were alcohol so I could be drunk and pass through the school day.
Because school sucks anyways.
I have no friends there, no friends anywhere in the world.
Yea that's pretty much it for lunch.

English, vocabulary test.
I forgot half the words.
So I probably flunked it.
Even though usually I'll get at most one wrong.
Fucking dumbass I am.
Copied down notes.
Borrrring.

Foods.
More notes.
Mrs. Dee kept getting in my fucking way.
Like usual when we take notes.
Leah was being annoying, "MRS. DEE CAN YOU MOVE!"
In her snobbyass preppy bitch voice.
No one even takes notes in that class, not really.
Maybe some people, I'm probably the best with it.
She was telling us how for beef, the cows and enclosed in a box.
And for veal, the baby calves are chained hanging up in a box.
I felt bad for the poor cows.
She told us how a parent called saying her daughter whos a senior was having nightmares from a movie they watched in class.
It's called "Meat Your Meat."
Jen's dad thought it was a porno she was getting a permission slip signed for. Hah..
Tells you how they get it and such...
I know Brittany would never be able to watch that.

Gym... I didn't feel like changing.
Had my story planned out.
"I forgot to bring another pair of pants from when I wore my home because of ROTC"
Though I had brought another pair of pants and pants to wear home last Thursday so I have two in there.
Oops.
Perfect since Mrs Holtsberg wasn't there so Mr. Vachon did both classes.
And they played racket ball or whatever which I despise.
So I sat on the floor and organized somewhat my backpack.

Blah....Went to BJ's for a couple things with my dad after school.
My sister is such a fucking little shit.
Came home, went online.
Like every fucking day.
Took a nap cuddling the birthday girls.
Got yelled at, bra snapped, leg slapped hard multiple times so I could wake up and stuff my face.
And people wonder why I hate being touched.
I'm sick of the pain with it, though it's fading numb.
But getting worse like before.
Which certianly doesn't fucking need to be.
My oh so loving mother dearest reminds me constantly.

I got ignored.
Which I probably should fucking get used to.
I predict it'll be happening a lot more now.
Maybe that message wasn't a good idea for me to have done.
Bad for me, good for them.
Oh well.. as long as someones happy.
It's a change from all the negative things.
Suicidal, depressing, negative things.

Just makes the ones in my mind more open to myself.
Instead of being preoccupied with other peoples.
Don't have to care about anyone else if there's no one there to care about.

I just feel like breaking down..
Hah, my old saying can come alive!
Nervous breakdown time, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.

I don't know anymore.
Old habits want to break through
Don't know if I will.
Only time can tell...
But I want to see my blood drip and pool around.

Shower time...

hhaha

maple was making out with candys ear.
She does that sometimes.
With my watch
Or candys tags
or julesys tags.
Its funny.
Shes loooopy.

NUH NIGHT!
My hed hurts.
i talk to brittany some more and then who knows.
BYE!

Just felt like posting since i hadnt in a while.