So I just played the most awkward game of bowling EVER. My ex-boyfriend/prom date invited me to go with him and a friend of his. I thought it would be ok to go and so I went and, I had to pretend like I was having fun...and then I kind of lied to my mom and told her that I had an 'ok' time. But it wasn't awful but it wasn't really fun either. First awkward thing was I was the only girl. The next was setting up the bowling score-thing. Because the friend put his name into the machine as "badass" and I'm generally not someone who uses swear words...and that was awkward to me. And then my ex' didn't know how to act around me and his friend...so it was weird. I dunno...

Part of me feels a little insulted by having been invited and then being the odd [wo]man out. And then the other part of me feels like I totally wasted an afternoon that I could have spent relaxing. I guess his [my ex's] behavior just solidifies my thinking that no matter how hard he tries he's not going to get me back. He's a nice guy and all--but it's just not going to happen. I can't deal with that. I want a guy who would be able to act normally around me and one of his guy friends at the same time. I also would want a guy that doesn't accuse me of never smiling and looking like I was going to kill someone. I don't know. Maybe it's because he's only 17 and therefore hasn't grown up yet. I want a man and he's still a boy. That wasn't meant to sound perverted, more or less I want someone who is mature and knows what he wants--or maybe I'm just reading too many romance books. I don't think I'll ever find a guy with as picky as I am....Love sucks.