This is my submission for Inuyashadorky's challenge, Story of a Song. It's based on Cigarette, by Jeremy Fisher. If you want to give it a listen, and I highl recomend that you do, you can hear it on his website: jeremyfishermusic.com
Sorry if it totally sucks :P I've never done one of these before :)
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I'll be your cigarette
Light me up and get on with it
I’ll be hard to forget
Good or bad, I’m just your habit
Being with him was getting to be a habit. There wasn’t any feeling or emotion attached, no joy or excitement in seeing him anymore. The company was a relief. There was no loneliness or anxiety. She didn’t feel lost or abandoned, but she didn’t feel loved either. What was worse? Being lonely or unloved? It was like a cigarette. There was the enticement, the yearning, the quitting, the withdrawal and the damage.
The enticement was him. He wasn’t particularly attractive or smart, but he liked her and she liked him. There was something between them. He was someone to talk to, someone to hold hands with and kiss. It felt like love.
The yearning was like the ‘honeymoon phase’. She wanted to be with him everyday, and she was, for the most part. They went to school together, rode the bus together and lived across town from one another. They spent very little of their free time apart.
Next came the quitting. That was what she thought most closely resembled the addictive relationship with cigarettes. It was hard, like all addictions. She tried cold turkey, but he called and texted and emailed. Clearly she wasn’t getting out without an explanation, so she tried weaning herself off him. Everyday she talked to him less, saw him less, and refused more and more time with him. Eventually, it started to get easier. He was taking her rejection seriously backing off.
Finally, she endured the hardest part; withdrawal. She missed him. She wanted his company. She wanted to feel loved. But there was no love, just an addiction, and sometimes that was hard to remember. It sometimes kept her up at night. She worried that she’d break, that she’d lose her confidence and give in to him. But really, what was she gaining from being with him? It wasn’t healthy. Good or bad, he was just a habit.
