ok so in the last post i talked about how i like this girl and i thought thatd id write here a little bit about that.
for the longest time i had been depressed because i didnt have a girlfriend, i thought how could anyone like me, im fat and unattractive no one wants someone like me for a boyfriend and for a while it seemed to be true and so i kept spiraling down and down into a deep abyss with at the time no way out. while i was in this abyss i met someone else albiet over the internet. i had never met him before and short of the game we play still have never met him, however he was in the same place i was, somehow both of us helped the other one out of this abyss that we were perpetually trapped in.
after that we continued talking and we somehow got on the subject of why we wanted a girlfriend so bad. we came up with a list of reasons.
1. we wanted someone to please someone dear to us someone who we loved so much we would give our lives for
2. we wanted someone we could talk to when we were in a state of depression someone who would listen to us and if we needed it someone who would care enough to give us there honest opinion and not sugarcoat it or be overly mean
3. we wanted someone to hold to lay on a couch with in our arms and watch a movie someone whould would come home stressed and we could rub there shoulders and back and help alleviate that stress. someone to show love for in a non-sexual physical realted way
the girl that i met (who is probablly reading this) embodies perfectly the first two of these, i have yet to find something i dont like about her, sure she has her quirks but that makes me like her all the more. she listens to me when im down, mad, or just in a really good mood, and in the short while ive known her she has grown on me to such a degree that she is the closest of all my friends to my heart she is even above my family and i would do anything at all for her.
if your reading this i meant every last word i said. this isnt some ploy to get you to like me back but i felt like i wanted to tell you exactly how i feel about you, i had to get this off my chest but short of just now i didnt know how to put it eloquently enough and so i carried it like atlas carries the world for quiet a while. now i have been able to set it out there for you and hope that this only makes our friendship that much stronger.
love ya
