ok so my title has nothing to do with this post at all. today was an amazingly fun day i woke up basicaly in time to go to the girls house from now on imma call her L. and we hung out all day today between 11 and 9:30 longest time ive honestly ever spent time with someone. we went walking and we talked about some things and it was just a great day. i honestly like her more than just a friend.

she doesnt know what to do with me i think. i mean yea we both agree that we are really close. however shes like confused on how far she wants to take the relationship. im afraid to take it anywhere as well considering if something happens to us and we do take it farther then we can never go back. ive waited all my life for someone like her though and finally ive found her. im reluctant to screw that up, but on the other hand ive wanted forever to find someone like her to spend my life with. its so confusing id do anything for her and if that meant to just be friends id do it but then again im hoping against hope that thats not the case.

its so confusing i hate not knowing what i want and what would be best, i mean the scale is continuously tipping in one way or the other. On one i think its to much a risk of losing an amazing friend like her but on the other i want nothing more than to hold her and lay on the couch and watch a movie or something. its so freaking confusing i have no idea what to do...