I hate depression!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't know what to do anymore
The waves of depression have returned,
even though things are going good.
I just don't get it.
why...
why am I depressed??????
I feel like bursting into tears.
I know it has something to do with Reba...
maybe it's because of my doubt in her...?
Because I just realized that Jenna also has the song "Fall for you" on her myspace so a voice in my head is screaming that Reba likes that song because of her not because of me. And that Reba really still likes Jenna and is just using me to make her jealous?
Of course ever since Jenna used me for that I've feared everyone is just using me.
I feel like Reba doesn't even want me,
that she never did.
No... that's not it,
thinking that way is like pulling a burning blanket around you.
It's comforting but painful...
If she didn't care about then I wouldn't have to face the fact that she cares for Jenna more. If I wasn't competing then I wouldn't have to face the fact that I was losing.
god damn it,
Why do I try so hard for Reba?
I just don't know anything anymore...
Maybe I never knew anything from the start...
Questions-
1) What's your favorite color?
2) Favorite song?
3) Advice?
My Answers-
1) blue and black
2) well, it was "fall for you" but now its "It's not over" by the same band
3) Psh, I can't give myself advice.
Picture of the day-
