Act 3 – Peaceful Joking, Chaos Strikes
[A few days later, the group is walking down a dirt path with a few sparse trees spread far apart. Everyone is in good and friendly spirits, as Kagami and Tidus are joking around, namely making fun of Cloud and trying to cheer him up. Firion and Cecil are attempting to stop them, but they occasionally join in.]
Kagami: [glomps Cloud’s right arm] Kweh!
Tidus: Attack of the fangirl!
Kagami: You seem to be forgetting something very important, Tidus.
Tidus: [mockingly pretends not to know] Oh? What ever could that be?
Kagami: [mockingly serious] Why, today is Hug an Emo Day! Do not tell me you had forgotten about Hug an Emo Day!
Tidus: [mockingly remembers] Ah! I can not believe it! I had forgotten all about that! [glomps Cloud’s left arm] Juuuust kidding!
Cloud: Get off of me. [trying to walk with the both of them hanging off of his arms]
Kagami and Tidus: [broad smile] Cheer up emo kid!
Firion: [laughing] Alright, you two. I think he's had enough torture for one day.
Kagami and Tidus: Awwwww... Come on!!!
Cecil: Firion has a point; Cloud can barely walk as he is.
Kagami: Well it's his fault
Tidus: for not working out more!
Kagami: Yeah, if he isn't strong enough to walk while carrying-
Cloud: [mumbles] Dragging.
Kagami: The both of us, then he isn't strong enough to fight the manikins!
Tidus: Besides, you've seen his sword before! If he can swing that giant hunk of metal around like it's nothing, then he should be able to carry-
Cloud: [louder] DRAG.
Tidus: The two of us, don't you think?
[Kagami and Tidus have a determined look on their faces while still hanging onto Cloud]
Firion: ... I can't seem to think of a comeback to that. How about you, Cecil?
Cecil: [sighs and facepalms] I am at a loss of how to counter a statement such as that.
Kagami and Tidus: [victorious smile] HA! WE WIN!
Cloud: ENOUGH. [swings them off and they both do a back flip and land] I can't carry the both of you all of the way to our next resting point. Besides, I have better things to do besides dragging you.
Tidus: Like what? [walks over to Kagami]
Kagami: [crosses her arms, dead serious] Probably fixing his hair.
Tidus: [laughs] I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL if that turned out to be true!
[Cloud, thoroughly irritated, summons his sword and swings at the two of them, who jump and dodge]
Cloud: I've had enough.
Kagami: Oh, look! The emo's showing emotion! [jumps next to Tidus]
Tidus: This is a miracle!
Firion: Uh-oh...
Cecil: This cannot lead to something good...
[Cloud swings at them again and they split apart to dodge, then they regroup]
Tidus: Oh, is it a fight you want? [summons his sword]
Kagami: This should be fun! [summons a fireball]
Tidus: I was getting bored anyways. [to Kagami] You ready?
Kagami: You know it!
[They fist-bump, but they are split again by another swing of Cloud's sword. They narrowly avoid it and jump away]
Kagami: Whoa! That was
Tidus: Way too close!
[Tidus jumps up and uses Energy Rain, but misses. Kagami jumps up behind him and throws a fireball, but it misses Cloud. Out of nowhere, Firion's whip grabs Kagami then Tidus as they are about to use a duo move and Cecil stands in front of Cloud preventing him from attacking them again]
Firion: Stop it, all of you. We need our energy to fight manikins.
Kagami: [murmuring to Tidus, rolling her eyes] Tch. If and when we see them.
Tidus: We haven't seen them for days!
Kagami: Yeah, and we need to release this energy somehow!
Cecil: Then why don't you and Tidus have a race to see who can find the next group of manikins? That way, you both can be productive while expending all of your pent-up energy.
[Tidus and Kagami look at each other and eagerly smirk]
Tidus and Kagami: Alright, then.
[Firion lets them go and they run ahead]
Tidus: I'm gonna win!
Kagami: In your dreams!
Tidus: Oh yeah? Wanna bet?
Kagami: For 100 gil!
Tidus: 200!
Kagami: 300!
Tidus: 400 and you’re on!
Kagami: Bring it, beach boy!
Tidus: Beach boy? Is that the best you’ve got, old lady?
Kagami: Old lady?! Why I outta-
[They continue taunting each other as they get farther and farther away]
Firion: It's exhausting just being around them...
Cloud: You don't have to deal with much.
Cecil: We know you are usually the brunt of their jokes, but they are only trying to cheer you up.
Cloud: From what I've seen, nothing will cheer me up.
Firion: Its statements like that...
Cecil: Perhaps if you began smiling, they would cease their playing.
Cloud: Maybe...
[Kagami and Tidus run back sprinting, as if running away from something. They latch onto Firion, and then look up at him with a scared look on their faces]
Kagami: Firion!
Tidus: Please!
Kagami and Tidus: SAVE US!!!!
Firion: [patting their heads] Calm down, what happened?
Tidus: There's this big,
Kagami: Ugly,
Tidus: Nasty
Kagami: Slimy
Tidus: thing up there!
Kagami: And it tried to-
Tidus: tried to-
Kagami and Tidus: EAT us!
Cloud: Did you try fighting back?
Kagami and Tidus: Duh!
Kagami: But no matter what we did,
Tidus: it still tried to eat us alive!
Cloud: You say “it” tried to eat you, but what is IT?
Tidus and Kagami: THE BIG UGLY SLIMY NASTY THING WE JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT!!!
Cecil: That is not exactly an accurate description we can plan off of.
Kagami: [sarcastic] We're sorry we can't give you an accurate description,
Tidus: [sarcastic] but we were too busy trying not to get EATEN ALIVE by a MONSTER!
Kagami: [sarcastic] Maybe the next time we get eaten alive we'll give you a better description,
Tidus: [sarcastic] Sound good?
Firion: Alright, alright. Calm down. Let's go and see what this thing is, and we'll plan from there, okay?
Kagami and Tidus: Fiiiine...
[Later, they group approaches the monster which is exactly what Kagami and Tidus said it was. It is a large ball of green slime with nasty-looking teeth and a terrible odor coming from its mouth]
Firion: It is what you said it was…
Cecil: I take back what I said…
Kagami and Tidus: ¬.¬Told you.
Cloud: Whatever. [summons sword] Let’s just kill this thing.
Kagami and Tidus: Have at it, big shot.
[Cloud slices the monster easily]
Cloud: That wasn’t too hard-
[the monster pieces itself back together]
Kagami: We did the same thing.
Tidus: And it did – [the monster tries to bite him, but he narrowly dodges] THAT!!!
Firion: [readies his bow] Do you think this is Chaos’ monster?
Kagami: I don’t think so. I mean, almost all of Chaos’ minions are ugly, but not this ugly.
Tidus: Almost all of?
Kagami: [pouts and crosses her arms] Sephy is the only exception.
Firion, Cloud, Cecil and Tidus: [thinking] Women…
Cecil: That aside, how could we defeat this thing?
Kagami: Dunno.
Tidus: Why else do you think we ran back? [jumps out of the way of the monster’s teeth]
Firion: [sudden inspiration] Kagami, have you tried burning the pieces?
Kagami: What?
Cecil: If we can cut it to pieces, then you can burn them!
Kagami: Oh, yeah! That could work!
Tidus: Then let’s hurry up and try it! [cuts part of the monster] NOW!
Kagami: Hya! [throws fireball]
[The piece of the monster burns up and doesn’t connect with the rest of the monster]
Kagami: Yeah!
Tidus: It worked!
[video montage of screenshots of them slowly cutting the monster and burning the pieces]
[When they are done]
Kagami: NEVER. AGAIN. [collapses beside a tree]
Tidus: I hear you. [flops down on his back next to her and manages to land his head on her lap, but she doesn’t seem to care]
Cloud: If you two are done complaining, we have another problem.
Kagami and Tidus: [irritated] WHAT???
Cloud: We have to keep moving and you two are holding us up.
Tidus: We deserve a break!
Kagami: It feels like we’ve been fighting non-stop!
Firion: [teasing] Whatever happened to that energy you guys had a little while ago?
Kagami: We lost it –
Tidus: Fighting THAT.
Kagami: And it’s not our fault.
Tidus: Yeah! You were the ones who told us to go ahead!
Cloud: Even if you hadn’t gone ahead, we would have had to fight it anyways. [de-summons his sword]
[Kagami and Tidus simultaneously pout]
Kagami and Tidus: That’s what irritates us!!!!
Cloud: Then quit complaining. [continues walking] Come on. There’s still aways to go.
Kagami and Tidus: FIIIIINNEEEE…
[Tidus gets up first then helps Kagami up. They start walking behind Cloud. Kagami crosses her arms and death glares Cloud from behind while Tidus backs away a bit from her. Firion walks over to Kagami and puts his hand on her shoulder, much to the irritation of Tidus]
Firion: Don’t take his coldness to heart. You know how he is; There’s nothing you can do to change his outlook or speech patterns.
Kagami: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.
[Firion notices Tidus’ less-than-subtle glare]
Firion: Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him about it… [walks away]
[Tidus walks up to Kagami]
Kagami: You were glaring at Firion, weren’t you?
Tidus: For some reason, it irritated me to see him with you. [laughs] Must be the heat or something. Man, I’m strange, huh?
Kagami: [pokes him] You’re. Just. JEALOUS.
Tidus: Jealous? Ha! Why would I be jealous of him? Other than his insane fighting style, of course.
Kagami: Heh, who knows? [lightly punches him in the shoulder] Now come on, we have to check our bait.
Tidus: Emo fishing?
Kagami: Oh, yes. [they both grin a mischievous grin that even the Cheshire Cat would be envious of]
