ok, so my medicine ran out and i haven't gotten the prescription refilled yet, so the only meds in my system are for my allergies. so if i'm not as depressed today, we'll know the problem.
i tihnk part of the depression is because i'm just now coming to terms with things that happened when i was little. i've been thinking about my childhood a lot lately. like the other day i was thinking about when i would go stay with donnie and stuff, and what i can remember of my parents being married. and i realized, i was abused, emotionally and verbally. and when i went with him, he didn't feed me or take care of me. he didn't even notice when i left the house with my cousin who was only 2 years older and we walked around the neighborhood by ourselves. so that's neglect. and it's weird to think about because you hear about kids who were abused and end up with screwed up lives, but i'm fine. (well, not fine obviously, but ok-ish.) b-chan put it this way: "you turned out fine and you don't want people to feel sorry for you." what do i need a therapist for, i've got b-chan :)
so i guess i'm just trying to deal with stuff. and my mom has no idea why i'm acting kind of weird, if she even noticed that i am, because God forbid she pay attention to me once in a while. she complains about me wanting to move out, well why wouldn't i? i'm tired of being ignored by the only family i have and having to clean up after my sister, who is almost 14 and can do it herself.
anyway, in happier news, my cousin is marrying his girlfriend tomorrow! finally!! it only took 2 kids >_< but whatever, at least they're finally doing the right thing. i can't wait. but we're praying really really hard for no rain tomorrow because it's an outdoor wedding. they said little becca (their daughter) has a frilly dress and issac (the baby) has a little tux ^_^ i can't wait to see. it's a very casual wedding though, dylon's not even wearing a suit. which seems weird to me, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
and now i should go get started on school. 17 days left i think *sigh*

Today's Random Thought: I like Popsicles! Yes I am random, why do you ask?