Note: This is one of *those* posts. *watches as 90% of the people leave and 5% have no idea what she means*
I reached a conclusion the other night, and it's one that's been long in the making. Two years is enough to crush over a boy who is never going to give those feeling backs. And you know what? I don't care anymore. We're idkbff anyways, and really, I'm fine with that. In fact, I'm more than fine, I'm happy with it. He and I are an amazing, cracktastic duo.
What led to this (besides the deterioration with time) was from his little sister and my sophomore!bff, Missy. Whenever people want to know who I like, I make them play the guessing game where they can ask me any questions they want in order to get closer to the boy's identity. Well, she figured it out pretty quick, and was really quite enthused about it. But a conversation with her brother later revealed and confirmed his side - we're just friends, he's off the market because of how hectic the year is, etc.
Little bummed? Yeah. Surprised? Not at all.
This part is going to *sound* terrible, so bear with me. My waning interest meant I was scoping out boys that might interest me. Tuesday night at band rehearsal (my last one!), I was given a lot of time to think (because half of our line is injured so we've been sidelined rather than doing the field show with big gaps). And I said, "Alright, let's just think."
I'm not sure what I thought about. This is weird for me...I feel like I'm rebounding too quickly from something, but I never had anything to rebound from, you know? Part of me feels kind of, I dunno, shallow for what I'm doing, but the other part says that this isn't instantaneous. As I have said, I can't fall in love with a boy just by seeing him or having a class with him. I have to know him, he has to be my friend.
We took a small break Tuesday to run back inside and warm up (it was freezing!) Me, Phil, and my "little sister" Chelsea hung out in the hallway and threw gloves at one another. Then I sat there and was like...wait. Hang on. Kat...
As we were walking back outside, we were talking about how warm people are and I suddenly went, "Huh, Phil looks kinda warm" and proceeded to hug his shoulders. He hugged me right back (though I had to hop because I'm shorter). Then I almost fell over so we delatched and continued to the field before I got hit with another bit of hyperactiveness and went to hug him again. Except I accidentally clawed his face with my fingernails. >_>;
Today at school, we went outside for band. He carried my bass stand out ('cause I asked him to...I asked him yesterday too, since he was conveniently there) and, as we walked, I asked him a question about the 10th Doctor's outfit. He instantly rambled off the info I needed but then noted how he was different in this-episode and then in such-and-such but in the fourth season he - ! Then he stopped and apologized, but I just giggled and said I was just as bad with my own shows.
Ding.
There is one thing I feel might be a problem, and that's the fact that he's two years younger than me. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, but there seems to be a stigma about the girl being the older party, especially in high school.
I'm still a little confused and cautious on it. I'm not jumping to any conclusions or situations, though. Just...kinda typing out my thoughts.
