So it's the day after my grandmother's death... I still don't believe it and I kinda wish I'd stayed up all night. It feels weird waking up to a new day. I feel bad, but I still can't quite cry. This kinda sucks...
So I might come off as seeming somewhat negatively responsive and have a few less smiley emotes in my comments/replies. *sigh* My eyeballs feel annoyingly dry...
I dunno *shrugs without enthusiasm. I'll be working on my request today, but I'm gonna take my sweet time... (As if I wasn't already orz)
Oh, hey, I guess maybe this means I've passed into the depression phase? In a sense, that's good, because it's means I'm somewhat progressing... However, I'd like to tell my mind to realize reality, y'know? I know she's gone, but it just seem so unbelievable...
Crap, I just realized tomorrow's Monday, which is when I said I was going to continue the Memories of the Past story with the sequel... Hm... (That title's been slightly altered from what I initially came up with, but you'll find that out when I upload it...) I'm not sure if I'm going to feel up to it, but at the same time, I might like something to get my mind off my grandmother's passing... Just as I typed that, I'm even having a hard time accepting it... I guess I'm sort of typing this so that I can have a record of it as well as come to realization. (To top it off it's that time of the month for me... orz How grand...)
Sorry if I'm depressing you guys, guess I'm just kinda venting a little bit. Though I can't say it's helping too much, I feel like it's something I need to do. Moving my fingers across the keyboard helps me to stay active, or something. *sigh* In a way, I'd like to stay in bed all day (well, I usually am in bed all day, but not because I'm sleeping, it's just the rest of my room's always a mess XD lol) After typing that, I feel slightly better. Ahaha, I guess I just need a good laugh... Though I am starting to feel sleepy... *drinks water* Guess no one would blame me if I slept a bit longer... I might be pushing myself to move on, but I don't want to mope around too much... My brothers seem to be coping much better than I am, and they spent more time with her than I did. Then again, they don't seem to talk about their feelings as much, though they do express them somewhat, so I know they're upset too... ARGH I'm rambling and typing a lot, at this rate, this post will become a novel...
And now I've just thought about my senior project *flops and sighs* Gah, I hate this... Oh well, I'll just do whatever the heck I want right now, whether it be work, play, sleep, or eating. XD I had an apple, but I should probably get something more substantial... I'm not in the mood for much so I think I'll have a standard bagel... Oy, has this become something more like a diary than a post...? =o_O;= *laughs* I'm strange, but I guess I feel better. Plus it's a pretty day outside.
I think I'm going to leave it here. I'mma grab a bagel and watch some Naruto before I get back to that request. Mata ppl =^_^=
