I'm feeling so completely mind-slammed. I'm internally freaking out and I feel on the verge of crying... I just did some number estimates in my head (and they're probably wrong, since I can't predict how much I'd make) and it'd take me about 2 years to get out of this house instead of my goal of one. I feel like I understand the expressions of people, now, when I'd tell them I'm just getting a "regular" job (Like working in an office supply store or something). I feel like they were looking down on me or laughing at me on the inside. I'm freaking out because it feels like I can't do what I want to because it's not what anyone else thinks is right. WHAT DID I DO TO YOU ALL?! I've never had a job in my life and now that I'm out of college it's wrong for me to get something not related to my career? I'm not cut out for that crap! I only went to college to shut my parents up in the first place. And though I admittedly learned some of the things I can apply to my artwork (digital), I mostly stuck in it because when it comes to grades, I DO NOT give up. It has to be done right the first time around or not at all. If I had ever failed any class, my scholarships would've been up and I would've been branded a failure, thus disappoint all of my stupid success concerned family. Even though I did, everyone wants to constantly ask me what I'm going to do next. LEAVE ME ALONE! My mind hasn't been straight this whole last year of school and I'm honestly surprised I didn't snap and end up in an asylum or something! Just because I don't want to work in some big corporation doesn't make me any less of a success. JUST GET OFF MY BACK! I'M A HUMAN BEING, DAMMIT! I'M NOT WORTH ANY LESS IF I DON'T MAKE 6 FIGURES OR MARRY INSIDE MY RACE! I REFUSE TO MARRY INSIDE MY RACE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT! Matter of fact, I'll marry a DAMN ALIEN if I so well please! F*CK OFF!

... Sorry, I'm freakin' out...