Welcome to my very first venture into fanfiction. Xmas took 5 years to complete and I am now rewriting it to the end of publishing it as a novel. Give me your thoughts.
“Christmas With the Dirty Pair”- a fanfiction by Keiman and Kei
DISCLAIMER:We do not own any of these characters and/or anime series. However, we want to send a very big Domo Arigato to everyone who does and are kind enough to allow us to use them here. We especially wanna thank Haruka Takachicho for the “Lovely Angels” Kei O’Halloran and Yuri Donovan- gomen for making thje girls Irish descent but admit it -a feisty green-eyed redhead with a fiery temper to match and a long blue-haired blue-eyed knockout colleen with an attitude! What else but daughters of old Erin on old Terra? (Er Kei was listening so I couldn’t use that name for those two but you know they are the Dirty P--- OW! OK Kei gomen!) Anyway thanks to all of the authors. OK without Tina and Joey’s kind assistance this very first ff of ours would not have gotten done. Onegai for bearing with us. We believe that this is the very first LA/DP ff dealing with a holiday besides Hall-o-we’en-in this case Christmas-anywhere. So a big Domo Arigato to you guys and here we go!
CAST:
Kei O’Hallorantro-con of Lovely Angel Team 2
Yuri Donovantro-con of Lovely Angel Team 1
Marlene Angeltro-con trainee of LA Team 2(on loan from Blue Gender)
Kome Sawaguchitro-con trainee of LA Team 1(on loan from Blue Seed)
Anton Gustavchief of Unit 9/LA Team 2
Donald Poporochief of Unit 234/LA Team 1
Charles Garnerterritorial sector chief of 3WA(World Welfare Works Association)
Legatos Bluesummers suspect wanted for crimes on Planet Gunsmoke(on loan from Trigun)
Black Ghost suspect wanted for galactic domination (on loan from Cyborg 009)
Optimus Primeleader of Planet Cybytron (on loan from Transformers Armada)
Spike Mirokusecurity chief at Higurashi Mall(on loan from InuYasha/Cowboy Bebop)
Various Shoppers
Time is 2250 AD (17 years after the Ganymede Riots). Place is Furool(say Fu Lon)City on Planet Shimougou (member of United Gallactica) located in Gamma Quadrant of Aquarian Galaxy. FC is the Headquarters of the 3WA. A semblance of peace prevails but on occasion trouble consultants(tro-cons) are requested from the 3WA. The most famous team is now no more. The almighty Central Computer(which assigns all TC teams) has split up the most famous TC team ever. Lovely Angels now has Team 1 and Team 2 (see cast above).
Both teams are still called “that name” but now because Kome is in Team 1 and Kei leads Team 2. OK that’s the set-up. Now, it is a few weeks before Christmas and Team 2 is shopping for Christmas (hai, Kei too although somewhat reluctantly! Marlene is sorta excited though.) in the Higurashi Mall. Both girls are off duty now(by the way Marlene is older than Kei-she is 23 and Kei is 19; Yuri is also 19 while Kome is 17) but being the Dirty Pair do ya really think this is gonna stay boring? Well--
Chapter 1 “Lovely Angels and Shopping Malls Don’t Mix!”
“Kami shimatta ni jigoku! I said HOLD IT you sonuvabitch!!” screamed a very angry green-eyed redhead.
The shadowy figure she had been pursuing halted for a second, then turned to face an enraged tro-con who was brandishing a deadly Mark IV disruptor/blaster which was still smoking from the last shot. At that moment a petite blonde materialized behind him as if by magic covering him with a smaller (but just as lethal) weapon, a TX XIII hand ion cannon capable of blowing a nasty hole in anything she chose.
Ordering him to raise his hands she spoke coolly and quietly: “You heard the lady, sir, I’m sure. If I were you I’d do what she told you to do.” Anything for the Dirty Pair.” he replied, raising his hands high. Marlene Angel leaned over and whispered to him “Lose the DP pal. We’re the Lovely Angels! I’m telling you this for your own good.”
Suddenly Kei glanced over and saw her partner/trainee staring glassily directly into her suspect’s eyes.
“Shimatta Marlene! I thought I told you NOT to make eye contact with him! He’s a mind control telepath! Now stop lookin’ at him! Oh, crap!” she finished.
Noticing a Santa and a gift-filled sleigh drawn by eight reindeer suspended above the mezzanine, she immediately fired at it unleashing an energy bolt which sizzled through the roof of the atrium causing snow to start piling up everywhere. As amazed shoppers ran pell mell every which way, Kei fired again this time hitting her mark. Suddenly gaily wrapped presents were cascading down everywhere and soon covered both tro-cons and their suspect.
Then Santa and his sleigh came crashing down on them pinning all three beneath it. “Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us in ‘Ms. I know what I’m doing’! We came here to shop and now look!” yelled Marlene from under the pile of boxes. Getting a hammerlock on her suspect’s right arm she snapped handcuffs on his wrists. “You are being placed under arrest by the 3WA. Anything you say--” began Marlene,
“You’re busted creep! And it’s Lovely Angels dammit not what you said!” hollered Kei decking him with an uppercut to the jaw.
“I was g-giving him his rights Kei.” stammered her partner. “You were boring him to death Honey!” finished Kei.
“Kei, remind me not to take you shopping again.” Marlene said icy-blue eyes flashing like ice in a polar dawn.
As klaxons began ringing all over the building Kei looked up and said “Jigoku Marlene Chill out! I didn’t know Legato was gonna be here, did I? Anyways we get a big fat bonus for collaring this yahoo! That oughtta buy a helluvalotta Christmas presents for ya so what’s the big deal anyhow?” snapped Kei, green orbs blazing fire.
“The deal is stupid that we were off duty and came here to have a nice time shopping not fighting!” Marlene shot back.
“Don’t call ME stupid you tow-headed moron!” exploded Kei.
While they had been arguing a huge tall gent had stormed over to them. He was shouting very loud.
Holstering her pistol and folding her arms Marlene said quietly “OK Kei. Suppose you deal with this guy.”
Flashing a badge at them he bellowed “Spike Miroku-Chief of security-Higurashi Mall! Who the F**** are you two bimbos? And whassa big idea of wrecking the place? And who’s that guy?” he fumed, “Somebody better start talkin’ soon or---” he trailed off.
Drawing out her ID card and shoving it in his face Kei calmly? explained: “Tro-Con Kei O’Halloran-3WA-Unit 9 division. This my partner Marlene Angel. Our code name is Lovely Angels-Team 2. This guy is Legatos Bluesummers, a wanted fugitive from Planet Gunsmoke where he is wanted for murder, mayhem and kidnapping, among his other felonies. We had just apprehended him a few minutes ago. OK gomen about the mess but since nobody seems to be seriously hurt I dunno waht all the fuss is about. And we are not bimbos! Just call Chief Gustav at Unit 9-3WA and he’ll straighten out this whole thing in no time. And onegai tell him we’re bringing in this sweetheart to HQ. C’mon Marlene. Let’s go.” Spike Miroku just stood there as if turned to stone, his mouth agape.
Finally he realized just WHO he had been dealing with and said “Gomen about the snafu ladies. I wouldn’t have gotten so upset had I known the “Dirty Pair” was on the job. I--” WHAM!! That was all he got out before two fists slammed into his chin from either side. “That’s Lovely Angels Kami shimatta ni jigoku!” chorused both tro-cons simultaneously.
Then they exited-an unconscious Bluesummers in tow. “They never learn do they?” observed Kei, pushing the door open. “Hey how come the floor’s all white?” she wondered aloud.
“Maybe ‘cause you blew a hole in the roof you stupid dummy!” erupted Marlene angrily.
“I told you not to call me stupid you harlot!” rejoined Kei. “Look who’s talking! Like Yuri says the pot calling the kettle--” responded Marlene.
“Oh shaddup Sweetie! We’re late!” said Kei, dragging their trophy out the door.
Meanwhile back at 3WA HQ two bewildered men faced each other over an immense conference table.
Presiding over them at the table’s head stood a slight, diminutive mousy-looking grey-haired man. He wore a tiny pair of pince-nez on his rather prominent nose. “I am just as baffled as you are gentlemen. But the Central Computer decided on two Lovely Angels’ teams and split up those two.” announced Territorial Sector Chief Charles Augustus Garner.
“Oro? Two of them? Nai! They’ll each get a partner so that’s shi! Oh Christ, nai! The ‘Unholy Four’ bellowed Unit 234 section Chief Donald Poporo.
“Don’t forget the Mugghis-two of them as well!” added Unit 9 Chief Anton Gustav with alacrity.
“Oh it gets even better than that! Anton! Don! You’ll LOVE this one! Just remember ‘It’s not my fault!’ OK?” finished Garner.
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2
