Dear World,
This letter is to tell you, I’m falling apart. You might think this is a suicide letter but, you are wrong.
So, my name, I guess you need to know that. I’m Mercedes, my dad loves cars. Right now, I’m a fifteen year old girl; I’ve got a boyfriend, a group of friends and a big family. Perfect, that’s what it seems, right? Well, sadly, my life is anything but perfect. I’m not saying that my life is the worst, just saying that it’s terrible. While you might say, I’m a whiny little teen age girl who needs to shut up, I say that this is just one way to help me cope.
I’ll start with what I can remember of my childhood. I met my elementary best friend in kindergarten. Her name was Amy. We’re still neighbors. I met Amy while waiting for the bus on the first day. Back then, I was just some little girly-girl type, and Amy was a dancer-to-be. From the day we met to about third grade, we always played in the lines with our beany-babies. And well, third grade, she thought I stole one of her toys. I didn’t of course, but she didn’t believe me. But, that was because I made new friends. It was always just me and her. I met Celeste, Gracie, and Chrissie then. Celeste would be my best friend until sixth grade. And well that began my troubles. Amy and I fought from that point on. And, now we’re not that close, but you’ll hear about that later.
At the end of fifth grade, my grandfather died. That is when I started cutting. I take a needle and my little cuts, like cat scratches, and pick at them all the time. But, I hide them. It’s kind of easy, since they’re on my hip. My sister though, just went from hip-hop to emo. So, as you can see I’m the different one. To distract me from my depression, and though unknown to them, my chest pains, Celeste and I began being anime freaks. Hannah came into the picture in the sixth grade, now the two are dating. And Kaytlyn, and Veronika also met me during the sixth grade.
In the seventh grade, I met Austin. My gay buddy. Love him to death, though right now we’re not that close. We’d talk boys, and other things. In eighth grade, I met my current boyfriend. Johnny, or Jj. You chose. I started hanging out with more guys and well, let people in. I started to be myself again. I guess, you could say that, Johnny helped. Having someone outside of my female friends helped me a lot. With that, I started talking to people more. I was dating Jacob for a while, but, that was seventh grade. I dated other guys, but not really seriously. Just boredom.
Though out all of that, I was having chest pains, breathing problems and my knee was doing some stuff. And still I was cutting, still am. I’m trying to stop though.
In high school, I started to like Johnny. But, I was scared I’d lose our friendship if we dated, so I rejected him, and took his Reptar jacket. Though, sophomore year, I asked him out, got rejected and then he asked me back out and I said yes. I don’t know what’s up with that yet. Heather, at this point lives next door to me. And, still she never comes to see me.
That’s all for now. If you want more. Ask. I’ll give you details.
Theotaku: Demon Amber ~Mercedes L Kelley.
Deviantart: M-Kelley
Tumblr: kelleykitten
Facebook: Mercedes L Kelley
